sounds like your new doctor is good news. That's important.
Mine just gives me meds but I am not sure I am ready to push for counseling because it means having to talk to people.
I wouldn't try to analyse your marital relationship too much until you are feeling "steady'.
I hope psychiatrist helps.
Hang in there kiddo.
Gabs,
That is great. You can feel needed and good about helping your son and get in a little exercise while you are at it!
I have been depressed today because of 2 projects that are going badly. One is mime and I have to struggle through it. The other was started and totally messed up by someone else. I was asked to just observe a training session and polish it up. But it was totally screwed up and I have no time available to fix it. Just got a call telling me the the original parties on the project are now off of it and that they have someone good who can fix it and all I have to do is walk her through what went wrong with no holds barred. That makes me feel better because I felt responsible for not fixing it even though it wasn't my problem and I don't have time.
So I feel needed and valued and understood and I know I can let go of the responsibility to someone who is capable.
I am still a little down but not so totally depressed. Not good enough to get dressed but good enough to wash the dishes.
spent 3 hours and 20 minutes on a conference call explaining what needed to be fixed. Glad I didn't have to meet in person. The new head of the organization I do work for is good that way. Felt a lot better after. Treated myself to a cup of special tea, My son's FIL buys it for me from China. It is tea leaves wrapped around a flower. As the tea brews it opens into a beautiful flower. very fragrant, very soothing.
Pretend I just sent you one; I'd like to share it with you.
Moody,
Don't be afraid of medication. But you are right to try to manage your depression without the aid of drugs, if you can. I managed for 40 years to cope with the help of a supportive boyfriend/husband a support system of friends, a beautiful daughter, wise beyond her years, and positive self talk.
But two years ago, I finally was at a point where it no longer worked and started to take effexor. It has been really good for me. keeps me from getting into suicidal lows. Don't know why I need it now, when I managed before. Aging brain chemistry perhaps, or loss of a part of my support system ( a friend who no longer lives nearby, children who live 3000 miles away) But I know I need it.
good luck and keep talking to us. We understand and want to help.
i don''t know the name it is all written in Chinese. But the tea balls are each about 2 cm in diameter. It is just tea but it is interesting. Tea is the traditional Brit solution to everything is it not? It is psychologically soothing.
the reason you are having trouble recording this as a thought record is that it is really many many thought records. let's try one:
Situation: trying to get out of the house: phone rings
Thoughts: If I answer the phone I will never get out of the house. It is probably just a solicitor. How dare they call me when my number is unlisted. I should ignore the phone. But it might be the hospital so I have to answer it.
Thought to Challenge: why should I worry if it is a solicitor. I will just hang up without a word as soon as I realize what it is. If it is the hospital they will leave a message on the answering machine (if you have one)Does it matter exactly when i get out of the house?
Feelings: anxious irritable ( which set you up to yell at hubby)
distortions:
the exercises on this site really help you to start to understand yourself. But sometimes you need medication just to get stable enough for the CBT to work. I resisted taking meds for a long long time. When I finally felt I had to, I was amazed at the results. I didn't feel drugged or strange or fuzzy. I just felt NORMAL. Drugs are not for everyone, but if the main source of depression is brain chemistry, they can make an amazing difference.
They may not be the right thing for you. But is the right thing to keep feeling the way you do?
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