Can you tell me more about it, from a personal experience standpoint. I've read a little on the net and it seems to me that it would be great if the depression had one main original trigger. But I don't know. what exactly did they do and how?
How did it help?
I am exploring therapies but have not yet got the nerve to actually talk to someone. My daughter is the only one I can tell that I am depressed without feeling judged. My husband is good but doesn't really understand that I need more than his support. I am alarmed by the fact that if I go off meds I become suicidal.
I know I need more, but find it hard to take the next step.
Your post made me smile. I like the word snipity! I can be snipity too. Trouble is I am not old enough yet to not care what people think. I am getting better. Or maybe its the meds. Anyhow I try to not think that it is the end of the world if I am not perfect.
Anyhow keep being snipity, until you can be just assertive.
I don't know what I would do it I could not browse these posts and smile a bit.
I think you are angry and stressed by many things some rational and some emotional.
1. You are angry that your father is ill, could have died and may die next time. Anger and worry mix together and you feel like you have no right to be angry. But it is a normal reaction. Think about the stages of dying. It is similar with any major problem.
2. You are angry because you had to take off work and drive the extra two hours.
3. You are stressed because now you have more work to do and you have been working so hard at taking care of your father that you are tired.
4. You are stressed by the demands for information from your sisters.
5. You are angry because you sisters did not offer to take the load off you by sharing responsibilities.
6. You are angry because you did not demand that they take some of the responsibility.
In every family there is the one who takes responsibility and fixes the problems. In my family I have always been that one. Obviously you are too. My daughter tells me that I take too much responsibility. I feel everything is my fault and I have to make everything right. And some things are not my problem. And I need to learn the difference. Thinking about that has helped me. Perhaps it can help you too. There are some things you can't fix. Do what you can and let go of the rest.
Glad to have you back posting.
This support centre has become my lifeline.
Yes. I think that being too selfless can be a bad thing. Unless you are Mother Theresa and get pure joy out of what appears to be total altruism. Sometimes doing good things pays you back by making you feel good. It is the selflessness of being a martyr, rather than the joy of doing good that is bad.
There is no such thing as a truly altruistic act. You are either being "altruistic" because it brings you joy or because you can think you are better than someone or because you feel you have to or because you like to be a martyr.
The only reason for selflessness that is not "bad" is the joy reason. If you are doing it for any other reason, it is bad for you and bad for the receiver.
Lloyd C Douglas, who wrote The Robe believed that only acts of kindness done in secret gave back to you spiritually. If found out, they lost their power.
yes, Panda, DL is a very interesting person. He is an important part of our support system. He has had enough ups and downs to have an good understanding of people and of MDD.
your girlfriend is right. Even if it doesn't last, a "holiday" from life is good for you. Sorry the new doctor couldn't help. For years I had a friend who baby sat my kids who I called my "psychiatrist". she still is. SO someone who likes you and cares and can make you laugh can sometimes do you more good them a real psychiatrist. I see too little of my friends and too much of my solitary work. So take the advice I should take myself and spend time with her.
And "run away from home" for awhile if you think you can afford it.
PS There is no such thing as "far" in great Britain! My "near by" friends are 100km away. The "far" ones (and my kids and grandkids) are 3000 MILES.
;-)
Maybe it is time to go see your girlfriend for a week.
He is looking to steal the attention you got from the kids when they said they would support you and he should too. And the proof is that he is NOT depressed and the doctor has said so. So he is not "ill because of you". He is not ill at all.
So don't worry about the "assertiveness" course. Just remember that HE is NOT depressed and tried to fake it. That there is a difference between feeling down because your wife is depressed and being depressed.
That being said, yes the anger is part of the depression. Tears and anger are so close to each other. So you are in no state to be reasonable or supportive. And, yes someone who is depressed and in pain all the time is hard to live with. But it is not like you are doing it on purpose, is it? And wouldn't you rather live with someone who is in pain and depressed than BE that person?
Trouble is, when you are depressed you do (at least I do) tend to put thoughts in people's heads that may not be there. And little things can set you off and push into deeper depression. I know that when my kids criticize me, even slightly, it sends me down towards suicide (all the way without the meds but close even with. But I am afraid to tell them for fear that they will be afraid to say anything to me (the need for reality clarity and truth)
I too have problems with "explosions" . The trouble is when you explode people are afraid to talk to you for fear they will set you off. So they avoid you which just makes me madder. That is why I try to pretend there is nothing wrong. I don't want them pussy footing around me.
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
