wanting to withdraw, be alone, be anti social is not a bad thing.
it is actually a good thing if you are content. when
i am not depressed, being alone is a lovely, self indulgent luxury.
I, too, work from home. It can be very isolating, but it sure beats the corporate world. I am fortunate, however, that I also get to interact with people about every couple of weeks by doing training and on site work.
doesn't matter that she is you new MIL, she still is someone who is dying and you feel it. It is all the little things that add up to make you depressed.
Try the program. I think that it helps. I certainly am much better than when I started (although part of that is being back on meds).
One thing that I used to do to "steal" time alone for me was to get up early when hubby & kids were asleep and use that time. Now that the nest is empty it is easier to get that alone time. Everyone varies in the amount of time they need for themselves and there is nothing wrong with needing it.
when my dr started me on effexor she started me on 37.5 mg for a week, then up to 75 mg where I remained. At the time I was clinically depressed, felt my life was over, etc. and had a lot of bad things going on in my life.. I remained on 75 mg for 1 1/2 years feeling alert and "normal" and able to cope. By then things had sorted out and it was spring so I decided to wean off. I was OK until the end of August when a minor trigger sent me into a suicidal tailspin. Back on effexor in sept but it has taken til now to feel "normal" again.
so patience with med is important. Am also trying the CBT because my daughter suggested it may help.
I haven't tried any other anti depressants, ever. Until the past few years, I have always coped with my depression though the support of my hubby and positive self talk. I've been lucky.
I lie.
Forehead touching knees,
Arms clutching legs in agony,
Longing for return to the comfort of the womb.
The pills
Draw me out.
But I hide in sleep
Day and night, to escape the loneliness and pain.
The core
Of my beliefs
Trap me, make me see
Through twisted thoughts, a distorted view of life.
So I look
For the good
For the proof of positives
To love myself, and find my way from the darkness.
I walk
Through rustling leaves
And I catch a glimpse
Of the joy of gathering and jumping and scattering.
And I know
That soon
I will feel again
The ordinary joy of an ordinary day.
Hi Rina
Glad you have reached out. It is the hardest thing to do when you are depressed. and it is the first step. Here you can talk about anything you want and no one will judge you.
Welcome
I read the posts and see a pattern emerging of general characteristics that seem to make people prone to depression. These are:
- above normal intelligence
- sensitive to others' moods and feelings
- very demanding of themselves (high, perhaps too high?, standards of behaviour and achievements)
- easily manipulated
- tendency to be the ones leaned on in a crisis
- low self esteem/self worth
- inability to express their needs without "exploding"
- feel responsible for everything that happens
what do you guys think?
I think that your mother will have more trouble seeking help or admitting depression because it was not accepted at all years ago. So for her to admit she is depressed is to admit a personal weakness, not an illness. In fact, when my brother killed himself years ago, my mother actually said that it was better than him having to go into a mental institution!!
It is hard for children to separate themselves from the foibles of their parents and visa versa. But you need to work at it.
I am fortunate in that all my children are stable and happy. I gave a great deal of thought to raising them and making sure they were resilient, that they could handle any crisis and be OK. I strongly believe that is much more important than trying to make them happy. Happiness comes and goes but resilience carries you though everything. I am now working on creating that same resilience in myself through the CBT.
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