I have been here since June of this year. When I first joined I was an emotional wreck, having panic attacks on a daily basis. I couldn't even go back to the grocery store where I had a panic attack the beginning of June. I too was afraid of having a heart attack. I have done the program. I have done the homework diligently. It does work. You have to do the work for CBT. I have had a few setbacks, but those are to be expected. It does get better. Use the forums as well, because someone else might be going through or have gone through the same thing and will have words of wisdom/advice for you. I'm still doing the work daily because I want 100% panic free. I'm 70 -80% now, so it does work. Looking forward to hearing about your progress in the next few weeks as you do the course.
Thanks for the reminder that sometimes we need to pay attention to what others want even if its not what we want. I'm guilty of this recently thinking me me me. Working hard on CBT, it slips by sometimes.
I didn't feel criticized at all. It was a reminder to me to take a breather every now and then and think of what others want. (which I haven't been doing recently) As for the swatting a person away, let karma have its own reward with that. I dealt with a similar situation years ago when my father was ill and when he passed away. I had durable power of attorney, took care of every thing down to the last detail and expenses. My siblings and there are many, wanted nothing to do with the real responsibilities of it. As a responsible adult I took care of it and left the bitterness towards them aside knowing it would eventually catch up to them later in life. I have those memories of visits to the hospital to cherish while they now have many questions about him. Let go of any thoughts about this sibling being a charmer (there's always one of those in a family unless you're an only child) and be the person you are without concerns or worries over it. It sounds to me that your head and heart are in the right place and that's really all that should matter right now while you're handling this. It's not really CBT advice, just personal experience. I hope it helps you.
Before I log off this site and go to Amazon to look for books you mentioned I would like to suggest one I have been working through. It is titled Asserting yourself by Sharon and Gordan Bower. I am a people pleaser and just read about having someone pulling my strings in the CBT for Dummies which I just purchased in ebook from amazon. The Asserting yourself book does not come in ebook format, but is available in paperback and arrives in a few days via postal, in my opinion is better because I am able to write in the book when I come upon a worksheet or question. I am curious as to this triangle concept. Knowledge is power and I am seeking both for this disorder to overcome it.
Glad you are getting your harvesting done. There is nothing that compares to real whipped cream. Now I am in the mood for my famous peanut butter pie. Of course that won't be made until November. I am headed to the market today to purchase Apples for Crockpot Apple Butter that I will start tomorrow in two crockpots. Today I am pulling flowers from baskets on deck fence so I can plant Strawberries in them next spring and am considering moving my Irises so I can plant something edible there as well.
I am almost positive that is the book I read years ago, that I could not remember the name of, that has the phrase "Stop the thought" followed by a positive affirmation or such. I mentioned it on another post on here. Or it could have been another written by John Townsend as I read many books back then as well. I did go to amazon and got one of the books you mentioned by Harriet B. Braiker. I will have to go back and purchase the book Boundaries. It was very helpful when I was first diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder many years ago.
I responded to this yesterday evening but see it isn't showing. It read easier than this response. I think I get the just of it though. I've drawn a triangle on paper and labeled it accordingly. I need to change the cycle by replacing the thought with a positive instead of a negative for the thoughts/cycles that cause anxiety/panic?
I'm sure we have all gone through this at some point in our lives. If I start a conversation with someone it is rare and random. At the gym, you could ask if they had a good workout, dance class- compliment an item of clothing or ask where they purchased it. I most always use the weather as a conversation starter if I try to start a conversation. Another recent example; A neighbor man was walking his dog late evening. First time dog has ever approached me. I said to Dog, well aren't you friendly this evening and noticed the mans dog looked different. He answered for the dog saying yes, she is very friendly. First time man has ever spoken to me or me to him. I then asked, is this a different dog? He replied with yes, and continued with conversation that his other dog passed away and he got another one. We ended up having a 10 minute conversation about his dog.
I moved the Irises to another location and prepped the baskets for strawberries for spring. I will go to a local nursery for plants that are ever bearing and hopefully 2-3 years old. I've read that newer strawberry plants don't bear fruit well the first year. I didn't realize the farmers market was closed yesterday so I have no Apples for Apple Butter today. I could use some of your apples :) Today I am cutting up fabric for another quilt.
Since I have been struggling with the negative worry thoughts I'm glad the triangle was mentioned. Its the same concept as this program, but gave me another way to look at it. I'm a visual and auditory learner, so it helps to have a picture in my mind. It's still changing the thought process. After reading your post before the current one, it starting pulling it together in my mind. I have been waking up every few nights to panic attacks and this pretty much summed it up for me along with my current read "who's pulling your strings" that Red mentioned.
It hasn't been easy to replace the negative worry thoughts and I am working hard on accomplishing that. I'm going to say I'm doing a great job so far because of how long I went without CBT. I'm proud of how much I've accomplished with this program in the few months I've been here working on it. I have over 40 + years of core beliefs, negative worry thoughts, etc. to work on and retrain my way of thinking with positive thoughts and replacement thoughts to counter my mistaken beliefs. I can do that. It might take more time, but I am determined to be panic free.
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