Prior to the diagnosis of Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia, my morning routine was a can of cola and social media. For the past month or more, my morning routine has been bottle of water and signing in here. Read Forum, respond if I can relate and then a small breakfast, then I either reread a Session or work on my exposure therapy or read my Assertiveness training book for a while. I feel more relaxed now then I did when I first joined. I was a mess back then. It's been 6 weeks now. So much has changed for the better for me by learning CBT and doing the work it requires. If for some reason I don't feel relaxed, I do Yoga Nidra before starting the rest of my day. I can admit I have been struggling with the exposure therapy for driving as that was the fear I've avoided the most. Its over a decade old fear. I am however getting really good at driving around the parking lot. I know that as soon as that gets boring I will be able to make it to the road. Today, I start Session 6 on here. I'm looking forward to progressing. With the assertiveness, I actually said no to someone yesterday, that asked a favor of me without feeling badly that I said no or reconsidering.
I listen to relaxation videos from youtube at night when I lay down. I tried to post my motivational video in my profile but it wouldn't let me. One particular video puts me to sleep right away. I used to have problems sleeping as well. Search relaxing sleep music or sleep hypnosis for anxiety. I like the sleep hypnosis myself, it seems to work better for me. I heard the first 10 minutes of it, then was sound asleep. I actually took the time after a good nights sleep to listen to it in the daytime and ended up taking a nap by the end of it. The program here really helps. I was an emotional mess when I joined 5-6 weeks ago.
All through the month of May and June, I woke up each morning with my heart racing, feeling dizzy-light headed and having the numbness in fingers/arms and legs. I got to the point where after getting thru a few of the sessions each morning I had to tell myself to stop the thoughts. I was actually increasing my anxiety/panic attacks by what I was thinking each morning. So every time I start thinking about my symptoms, I tell myself, "Stop the thoughts!" It finally started working after a week or so of consistency. I then tell myself I am perfectly healthy and I find something else to occupy my thoughts. I hope this helps.
I just read the first page of the Session- Simulating Panic. I've worked really hard to decrease the risk of having a panic attack by learning as much as I have and doing the homework thus far. Now, I can say I'm nervous about this session. So, this was my quick pause before I continue on with the session. My brain is still repeating "huh?" and I'm questioning the need for this. It's part of the program, so there is a need for it?
Yes, it does make sense. After reading the rest of the session, I understood why it is necessary. It just took me by surprise at first. Some days, I feel like I have moved along in the program to fast, I have been doing a session a week, I have learned so much in such a short time, but I am doing much better now, then I was before the program. I realized today after looking back on my diary, that there are certain triggers that I am still lacking some coping skills for, so I am working on finding how to learn coping skills for those specific triggers. I don't want to just get by, I want recovery.
I am planning a camping trip as a reward. That weekend I am also going to be a passenger on the freeway/highway as part of exposure therapy and make it to the candle shop I have avoided for years and reward myself with a candle as well. I'm excited about both of these.
I don't think being alone is a bad thing. I find it rather relaxing. I dislike sensory overload as I refer to it. Too much action and noise gets rather annoying after a while. I tend my flower beds alone and I actually prefer it that way now. My spouse thought my bleeding heart was a weed and pulled it out in the spring along with my lemongrass that helps repel the Mosquitos. The mosquitos are bad right now and I have numerous bites from sitting on the porch before lunch today. I thought about my missing lemongrass as I smacked at the mosquitos.
A nearby friend, or someone I socialized with on occasion just moved far away. I wasn't upset by this because it freed up more of my alone time. I smiled as I typed that, because this person sometimes was just an annoyance. So if alone time is relaxing it's a good thing to some extent. Just my humble opinion.
Lemongrass isn't invasive. I had planned to pull it apart into more pieces this spring, and replant in a few more locations throughout my flower beds so I would have more of it, of course that wasn't the case. It sure would help with the mosquitos though right now. I think I will have to go this weekend and purchase another plant. My tiger lillies are just starting to bloom and look beautiful. Last year I planted a Sweet Potato vine and it took over a good portion of one of the beds and was a beautiful purple color. This year I didn't plant one because it's a runner.
I have a sign in my flower bed nearest the door that reads "Knock, if no answer, pull weeds." Thankfully nobody pays attention to it. Weeding and deadheading is relaxing for me. It's a chore, but a worthwhile one since I get to reap the benefits of my flowers.
I rolled over in bed about 4am and the whole world was spinning. I started to feel my heart race and quickly started my breathing exercises. I felt nauseated and was sweating. I've had this in the past so I knew what was happening with the vertigo but it took a lot of effort to not have a panic attack and to get from the bed to the bathroom. It's been a rough start to the day as I cannot turn my head quickly or look down without the dizziness being brought back. Dr is not into today, so I have to cope with this until I can be seen.Any home remedies besides pretending I'm a statue?
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