Today, I had to take the trash out and grabbed the car keys at same time. My son in law, helped me carry the trash out and I walked to the car, hit the key fob to unlock it and told him to get in the car. He looked at me like I was crazy. I got inside. That was my first intention. I just needed someone to be in the passenger seat when I got in drivers seat. I have not driven in over a year due to my fear of driving, prior to that, maybe a handful in the past 5 years, a couple of dozen in the past 10 years. I managed to start the car. I was shaking like a leaf on a tree in a hurricane. Told myself to breath then told the son in law to put on his seat belt. I said, I might just be backing up and pulling back in, but I have to do this. But after backing up...I drove around the parking lot and re-parked the car. I got a high five from the son in law! I love this feeling!! I love this site!! I love the support on here!! One big baby step for me today.
Thank you both Red1 and Davit! My Goal for the next 7 days is to actually drive on the road. I want to do this. I felt so much freedom last night, it's exhilarating for a change.
Exposure therapy has been discussed in the books I have read and noticed it is next in the program. I can admit, I haven't progressed in exposure therapy from that day, I haven't had a support person nearby. I know from the books I've read, I'll have to face it alone at some point. It will be nice to accomplish this and is something I want to do. I'm starting the exposure section in the program tomorrow. I'm not giving up. I like how I felt really good that day about accomplishing one step towards overcoming one of my fears.
I've been here for a couple of weeks and this program is doing wonders for me. I hope your appointment goes well this afternoon. The relaxation breathing works really well for me, but it helped me to hear a voice explain it so I searched the internet for a voice guided audio of it.
Drove around the parking lot today without a support person. It was my goal to make it to the road this week, but lack of an actual support person has become an issue, so I am going to slow myself down and take smaller steps by myself as suggested here. I am doing really good with the relaxation breathing, the muscle relaxation, and the voice audios I listen to nightly. I had my grandchildren overnight for first time in a long time and all went well so that is great progress. :) I feel better a little more each day and am learning I will have to face setbacks in order to move forward.
Recently, I have been listening to Disney tunes. The other day I watered the flowers while listening to and singing out loud to a Disney song (A whole new world from Aladdin), My neighbors child enjoyed me singing, or maybe she was laughing with me. It helps though, when that doesn't work, I listen to orchestral music and concentrate on my breathing.
I've learned the two won't happen together, or at least they shouldn't. But following a panic attack 2 days ago, today I felt anger. This is unusual for me as I am a passive people pleaser. I don't find myself angry like I was today. I don't even know why I felt so angry. I figured a walk to relax would help. I was able to grab my mp3 player and headphones and walked to a nearby creek where I seen Hedge Apples laying all over the ground. The most stress relief was kicking every one of them into the water. I wasn't angry after that. I ended up with a tension headache that has stuck around for several hours. Is this common with Panic disorder?
I got a laugh out of your mantra and the rhyme. Headache is gone after a fairly restful night of sleep and I know where there will be a lot of hedge apples that will be getting kicked into a creek for my CBT. I am going to incorporate it into my weekly routine. Being new to the panic attacks, and 4 weeks into this program, I was concerned that something was wrong. I don't typically get angry or headaches. I'll take that any day over a panic attack if it means I can go kick some hedge apples. On a positive note, if I'm feeling this, I'm making progress.
To quote you, "Only the present counts and it soon will become the past and not count." is such a powerful statement that I am adding that to my coping statements. I'm actually going to write in on my chalkboard in the kitchen as well.
There should be a list of emotions in some detail, that those of us will feel as we deal with this, even if there is no chronological order to it. (Since we all have different ways of thinking/reacting.) I haven't came across it in any of the books I have read thus far and if it's here in the program, I haven't made it that far into the program to read it. It would be helpful to know those emotions are a normal reaction.
I have health issues as well as the Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia. I take medication for it and will have to for the rest of my life. But, I don't worry or concern myself unless I'm really ill, or suffering a Panic attack but the CBT is helping me with that. My mother suffers from Hypochondria, she is constantly concerned and worried there is something wrong with her health. She see's so many specialist I have lost count. From what I understand about it, it causes anxiety.
Also, you are the first person I have seen post anything about having a problem with driving. I have that. Working on the exposure part and trying right now. What are your self talks for the driving?
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