whats the point
Hi again,
I have been reading over the posts again and again,
Maybe part of my problem is my unsupporive husband but we have been married for 29 years and has always been that way.
I haven't the strength just now to do anything about it, on a more practical note, my health insurance is attached to his.
In fact everything is. You know how things happened years ago, the car in his name, the house just about everything.
In those days I guess I was his handbag, something to look good on his arm, It was all about his career, his life, if the children did well they were his if they were naughty they were mine.
I stayed even through the affairs i knew were happening, they were so painful. I did everything because I wanted my children to have a loving family life with both parents.
I guess I also love? loved him. All i have ever wanted was for him to love me as much.
I have watched my weight, not 'let myself go' but now whoosh. with a huge crash bang I've lost control, cant eat, sleep, string a sentance together. he rightly sees a nut case. or a psyco as he calls me. He doesnt understand and just shakes his head.
havent worn make up for days, whats the point keep crying it off.
I stand in the shower till the water runs cold just wishing i could was it all away, I cant. I am scared. I never realised that your mind could cause you such real phsical pain. my heart pounds, my breathing fast and shallow,
can the tablets really take these awful feelings away?
I know the wont sort out my problems, only i can do that but i cant do it if i cant function! Arrrrrgggggg.
Ha, just looked down and have put odd socks on. very odd, 1 pink 1 black. havent noticed all day, how attractive. Still no one here so does it matter? not a jot.
oh, just a thought, Patrick, how did you get to be so wise. you seem to be able to read between the lines,
Well thanks guys, seem to have had an ok couple of mins writing this.
am off to bed and hope the tears stay away.
keep strong you fellow sufferer's and keep posting.x
