Wildcat,
My how far you have come, I am so proud of you!
Tell your fathers sister when you have a strong moment. You did a wonderful thing in supporting your father in law when you need support so much yourself.
A lot of people in their 70's find the need to sleep more without depresseion. Also he has had a lot going on medically.
He is lucky to have you.
Keep working through, I am still on session 3. Cant seem to find the motivation I need to move on but your post has inspired me so today i will click on session 4. Thanks wildcat and all the best to you. x
Hi gang,
Well i thought i was making some progress.
The tears have become less although not gone.
The lack of motivation is still with me but i want to win.
What do I do Now?
Today my un supportive husband went to the doctors with depressionabout my depression!
I could scream.
He has said that I am making him depressed as I am not doing as much around the home, not working etc so lack of income is adding to his stress.
All that on top of him having to accompany me to hospital appointments for my back due to the family meeting that my son organised, so that the family would help me through this.
The doctor has told him that I must be supportive to his depression. He has a different doctor to me so his DR doesnt know how ill I have been.
They dont think he's bad enough to warrant medication but have offered him some counseling sessions.
I know that living with someone with depression is difficult.
I dont pretend to be fun to be around just now but neither do i feel strong enough to support him.
If I get a cold he will have the flu!
I am sorry to rant but i need to get these thoughts out of my system before my daughter gets home. I dont want to bad mouth her father in front of her but i am just so ...angry? ...Upset? I dont know what this feeling is.
Despair I think. I dont know what to do or think. where to go from here.
Sorry just so fed up. I feel alone again. I feel that I am failing him just as he is failing me.
Any ideas?
Thanks Brenna,
I have tried to get him to visit the D C in the past so he would understand what was going on with me. He chose not to bother.
Maybe the time is right to try to get him to look at it for his own sake rather than mine. At least if he feels he is doing it for himself he may be more interested.
At least then we could try to tackle things together.
I wont hold my breath though. I just feel that it has set me back and that sounds so selfish but i cant stop the feeling even though I know its negative. I will try to talk to him tomorrow when I have slept (hopefully) on whats gone on today.
Maybe he too will be more responsive. I was though very good when he came home, just sat and listened to what he had to say and didnt mention myself at all.
I know his feelings are as real as mine and have learnt from the D C how to control what would have possibley have been an outburst from me.
x
Thanks again for responding.
I have been told that I can now resume my pilates class.
Well yippee.
Why dont I feel good about that, well no excuse not to excsersise anymore!
But what about the main problem, lack of motivation.
Also after that 1st chocolate biscuit, you just may as well have another and so it goes on.
How can you diet when depressed?
I have stocked up on apples vegetables etc but its cold now and I want comfort food. Sweet stodgy carbs.
They make me feel better. They also make me fat! I am with you on the fact that I cant fit into a lot of my clothes. That also depresses me. A vicious circle. If anyone has the answer please post!
itsjustme,
What a bad day you are having.
Your feelings are real and a good cry can sometimes release the stress.
just 2 weeks ago i was like you.
The tears wouldnt stop.
Not for anything. Not that it helps you right now but somehow i have got over this point. Thats not to say I dont have bad days. I do.
Just not as bad.
Try to see today for what it is. A very bad day. You are worn out by this whole thing.
One day at a time.
Try to sleep, take a duvet day off work if you need to and snuggle up, catch up on some sleep. The world will still turn.
Be kind to yourself. Thats easier said than done, i know.
Deep breaths. Baby steps. You will get through this, slowly and surely you will find the good hours are more than the bad, then comes the good days, yes, a whole day.
Its not much to ask is it but it will come. Hang on in there. Dont try to do what you feel you are not up to.
Get take out food. leave the washing. You need to get stronger.
Your co workers understand. Thats a huge positive.
They are there for you and so are we. Hold on tight.
Good luck.x
Holden welcome.
Havent tried orthomolecular, but hope it works for you.
I have tried just about every alternatives for back pain there is. From osteopathy to faith healing so I understand your quest for help other than medication.
Basically it all boils down to one thing. Does it work for you?
It took me a while to accept that i would be on medication for the rest of my life, and now possibly medication for the depression.
I didnt enter into it lightly as like most people i was largely unaware of the depths that i had sunk.
I have also tried and failed at c.B.T. The anti depressants have given me back some life. I am by no means over the hurdle yet and seem to be stuck on session three of the program but with the help of others on this site I am still alive, progressing slowly, and even have the odd good day. Yes a whole day.
Up to last week it was hour by hour. Now its day by day.
Keep posting you will have some great responses from your fellow members. Dont hold back and they will put you right along the way.
Good Luck.x
Hi itsjustme,
Did you go into work today? Did your boss make you feel bad?
I can understand that you cant just take a day off but you said it would make your boss think you are weak.
Let her think what she likes!
Its your thoughts that are more important just now. If you take a couple of sick days you will go back stronger having rested and focused your mind on the positives and that is your work colleagues understand. Maybe your boss does too but cant show it to you for fear of appearing weak herself.
If your parents dont understand your illness that too is difficult. Tell them that you have a migraine and need to stay in bed! Not that i advocate white lies but you need some space.
Please let us know how you are.
x
nullpointer,
I am very concerned for you.
I too along with others have problems with the phone as I feel i will start to cry.
Last week I had to see a new doctor, the anxiety was overwhelming,
I thought that i would never be able to tell her my story in the allocated time and that i would just cry and make no sense during the whole appointment.
What did I do? well i wrote it all down.
From when it 1st started, my feelings then, my feelings now, the fact that i was trying to work the program on line.
I would suggest that you do the same.
Please write down all your concerns, your worries over your medication everything. Read it over and try to write it again in a logical way,
i had to do that or it would have been pages long!
And then when you have your appointment just tell the Doctor that you feel so bad you couldnt face telling them whats wrong so you have written it down.
It works. Please try it. Go back to your doctor you need to get the medication right.
good luck and keep posting.
Thanks dumpling,
Thanks for your response.
I just seem to be finding it really hard to deal with him just now.
He has always been self absorbed but it just went over my head before i had this depression.
Now I am questioning everything and I'm not sure I even like him that much.
That makes me feel terrible.
I hope its just my depression and that i am using him to sort of 'blame' a little? He has been full of himself because he has been diagnosed with depression, it seems that he has just jumped back to form. How very odd.
He is also happy that some work has come his way and of course that lightens his load financially.
It just makes me feel worse about myself. Been a tough day today for no reason, feel as weak as a kitten
and have achieved nothing. Had a lot of goals, only small ones but none have got done.
I know the world wont stop turning as i havent done the ironing but i just couldnt face it. Anything at all today. Have even avoided the phone.
I will take a sleeping pill tonight and hopefully will be able to start tomorrow with a more positive mind frame.
I also had a phone call yesterday, my new doctor has arranged for me to see a pshyc on the n.H.S next week so thats good news i hope.
Bye for now x
Hi Gang,
Wow, very thought provoking.
I also am avoiding social situations as people you dont see very often when they ask how you are they really dont want to hear our sad story.
So what do we do if we do get out? we put on the smiley face and say o.k. thanks.
For me I try as much as possible to avoid the supermarket just in case I bump into someone that knows me. The situation gets more and more difficult and I avoid it more and more.
I also think they will find me dull and boring. I am very short, people look over my head anyway. I truly am invisible so why dont i take the bull by the horns and get out there.
Its because I'm afraid, but working on it.
Thanks Danielle for bringing this to our attention
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