Nullpointer,
when you do go to see your doctor just write it all down.
That way you know you wont forget anything and also wont be so anxious in case you cry.
I know the feeling is just terrible, My doctor is getting used to me presenting her with a letter! It seems to work though.
The expense of it all is a terrible factor we have to take into account. Its our health after all, the most valuable thing we have.
Without it you cant work. Just a vicious circle.
Good luck
keep postingxxxxxxxxxxxx
Excersise, ugh,
Well my Son has decided to help me with this particular problem. he and his partner work long hours.
They have asked if i'd be their cleaner!
Cant refuse a request from son so today was my first day.
I had to get out of the house, first hurdle, then drive to theirs approx half hour away. and he left me a list of jobs.
Well after cleaning ovens washing floors and windows i have had more excersise than i've had in months!
Cant say it was enjoyable but I felt I was helping them so that made me feel good. Yes this will be my weekly activity for a while.
maybe it will lead to some fun excersise
but at least its a start.
x
Dumpling,
Happy to hear that they have found someone else to fix your inherited problem.
Its nice to know how valued you are. They obviously think you are very good at what you do or they wouldnt have asked in the 1st place.
Sorry you still feel a little down but maybe that was brought on by thinking that you had to take on this extra work load earlier.
Wash the dishes and then have aomething nice for yourself, a glass of wine or for me it would be chocolate!
xx
wildcat,
Do not, be sorry for going around the situation and not facing the truth of the situation as you put it.
The real truth is what we are feeling. That is your truth right now.
Its the challenge of those thoughts that we are all trying to work on.
Of course you slip back into your childhood habits of protecting yourself, you have practiced that way for many years, it will take you a long time to break that habit.
You are working hard at it and to my mind you are doing well.
If you felt you were unloved by your parents how could you learn to love yourself? You must learn to love yourself as the person you are so that others can love you too.
It is understandable that you put up those barriers. Why would you want to be hurt? When the time is right, slowly and surely lower those barriers and make friends and you will see how rewarding that can be.
You dont have to like everybody and everybody may not like you.
That is o.k. That is how it is.
You are a good kind soul, be kind to yourself, you are equal, you will deal with this situation even if you are anxious along the way.
Try to be strong, give your girls in the pit a chance. They may well encourage you and make you feel welcome. Give yourself and them a chance.
Good luck. x
Hi Guys,
Thought i would try to use the most horrible day as a thought record but cant grasp it. Maybe am just too tired to think straight.
Nov 9th Goal.= to get myself out of the house/prison
8am get up, feeling terrible, had a very bad night slept only couple of hours on and off. Take my meds and they make me feel more sleepy. shower and try to dry may hair, the phone rings, the phone rings on and off 11 times this morning.
We have a problem with cold callers. I am ex directory have no idea where they get my number from.
I am getting very upset and agitated as i cant even get ready to get out of this house.
normally i would ignore the calls but I am waiting for the hospital to call me so i must answer this phone.
I want to throw it out of the window.
My husband phones to ask if i am o.k. I shout at him and tell him i would be if only the damn phone would stop ringing and i could get out of here.
I hate myself. I hate being cross at him for no reason.
Its not his fault. Now I feel guilty and want to cry.
Will I ever leave this house!
its now past midday and i have only just left home.
I go to the shopping mall.
Cant remember the drive. Must have driven on auto pilot.
I firstly stop at the grocery store to pick up food to make husbands favorite dinner because i feel so bad about my outburst.
I want to go to the department store to get some boots. I get half way there and my back pain wont let me walk further. I sit down and want to cry right there. I dont, i just sit a while and then very slowly try to get back to my car, it takes me almost an hour.
I didnt get anything on my list. I feel like my shopping trip was a waste of time. I ache all over I am upset, frustrated and I still have to drive home.
The reality is, I did get out of the house. I did buy food.
It doesnt matter that i didnt get to the department store.
I dont need the boots if i cant get out. How to put this into thought record. I dont know.
Its 2.30 am and I still cant sleep. I am really loosing my mind. @ steps forward 4 steps back.
Help.x
thanks Dumpling,
Could only see it as one thought. you are right, lots of thoughts going on there. that has helped me to put things into perspective.
will work on the other thoughts. Thanks again. x
Hi and welcome,
i am sure you will get the support you need from these great people that post here.
Without the help and advise i have from this site i dont know if I would have got past the last few weeks. It truly has been my life line.
i hope it will be yours too.
X
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