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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Changing your relationship with alcohol

The husband seem to fall under the category of a normal drinker whereas the wife seem to have lost control over alcohol. She may be an alcoholic. But it makes the situation very difficult when one is trying to quit and the other wants to continue drinking.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I NEED HELP.

"I also experience the forgetting how bad I felt and giving in once again to craving."

There is a very important paragraph in the book called Alcoholics Anonymous:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Changing your relationship with alcohol

Even if we are happy it is very fleeting. We have to wake up next day and put up with the same crap all over again. But than being happy I will say we drunks forget about the miseries while we are drunk, that is to say quieten our mind.

Instead of seeking for temporary quietude, ancient scriptures says if we focus on the present we immediately lower the chattering of the mind.

Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle talks about this in detail about this. AA has different approach to get there, via 12 steps, we achieve what they call a spiritual awakening where by you look at the world with a different perspective that you would not need to take a drink.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

New and Have a question

"Why can't you stop at a few drinks when you know what you are like when you drink too much... why can't you just control yourself and stop doing stupid things?"

Dear Merle,

Non-Alcoholics don't understand this concept of physical craving we go thru after we take that first drink. The off to the races. And also the obsession of the mind that forces us to drink after a gap.

If you are on an Alcoholic, there is no question of cutting down or controlling the drinking, the physical craving does not allow that. So don't get frustrated that you are not able to cut down or quit.

If you are alcoholic, the only solution is Spiritual.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

New and Have a question

No offence. But I do want to point out most of the treatment centers after detoxification evaluate the candidate and if they conclude that he/she may be alcoholic they introduce them to AA. However, several of them don't believe that they have a problem, they go out. After 3-4 trips to Treatment centers they either go die or embrace some form of spiritual solution. I know several members with similar stories.

There are some Hard Drunks who drink almost like the alcoholic but they don't have the "isms" they could recover without a spiritual solution and those people look down on the alcoholics and believe they should also be able to do it like them.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I need to start somewhere

I've thought about attending an AA meeting but I'm terrified of seeing someone that I know.

I had the same fear when i first walked in few years ago. But it is a anonymous program, people really stick to the anonymity Tradition. Yes, there is gossip within AA but, they will not go broadcast that an individual is an alcoholic. Please go to a local meeting that will be one of the greatest step you would ever take in your life. Also, please visit AA online and try to read the book called Alcoholic Anonymous. It entails the problem, solution and great stories (of recovery).

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I need to start somewhere

I had this preconceived idea that alcoholics are the ones that live under the bridges or on the roadside. After reading the doctors opinion (several times) I realized I was a functioning alcoholic and if I had not stopped I would have ended up there or would have died or gone to prison for killing someone.

Alcoholism is just not about drinking hard. Its a spiritual malady. How do we handle life when not drinking. We are miserable, restless, irritable and discontented. That leads us to take a drink. But then you have this phenomenon of craving, which kicks after we take that firsts drink, THEN we can't stop. But you may say, just don't take that FIRST drink. Unfortunately our mind is wired different. We tend to forget the horrific state we were just last night or few days or weeks ago and justify ourselves into taking that FIRST drink.

If you look back on our drinking career, you will see this would have repeated over and over again.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I need a plan

For alcoholics where the obsession of the mind combined with the physical craving it is impossible to drink and yet control the drinking. We have reached beyond human aid. These spacing between drinks will provide you only temporary relief. The only solution for real alcoholics is total abstinence. Please try to visit a local AA meeting and see if you can find some alcoholic who has recovered and they will be glad to walk you through the process.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Question for Foxman

Let me tell you, i had the same fear, how am i going to stay stopped rest of my life, how am going to celebrate my birthdays, my kids wedding.....Thats because, we become so dependent on alcohol that we can imagine a life without it. But then we become restless, irritable and discontent a day or two into stopping. Then we think ourselves into taking that first drink.

That is powerlessness. We are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. The book goes on to say its the selfishness and self-centeredness that forces back into taking the drink. So we seek a spiritual solution.

In your area there should be a AA hot-line, you can call them and ask for Women in AA. And they will be glad to visit you and help you out.

Please do not get frustrated that you can't get out of the vicious cycle. Alcoholism is a disease, please make use of the support that is available. Its free. Only thing is your desire to re-construct your life.

Today I am 4 years and few days sober, this is part of my work to look for real-alcoholics and tell them there is an alternative way to spend rest of your life.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Question for Foxman

If the question was addressed to me? No I am not familiar with Women for Sobriety. Fortunately the counselor at the Group Therapy I went to suggested a Shrink near our area. And when I convinced myself that I had to quit I saw the shrink. After hearing my story and family history (my brother drank on antabuse and died) didn't try me on any of these scare tactic medications. Put me on camprol and vivitrol and asked me to go to AA. Thats how I ended up in AA. Few months into it I started to understand what was written in the book called alcoholics anonymous. You can read it online at AAs' web-site. Read the Doctors Opinion, it will tell you exactly what alcoholism is. And then i embraced the 12 steps of AA. Most people in AA today rely on meetings, very few work the steps (all of them) and they go out. We are suppose to get well first and then start helping others. When we start working the steps as we go towards step 10, that is when reach what they call a 'spiritual awakening' and then continuous working of steps 10, 11 and 12 you stay connected with your higher power.

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