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Question for Foxman

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

If the question was addressed to me? No I am not familiar with Women for Sobriety. Fortunately the counselor at the Group Therapy I went to suggested a Shrink near our area. And when I convinced myself that I had to quit I saw the shrink. After hearing my story and family history (my brother drank on antabuse and died) didn't try me on any of these scare tactic medications. Put me on camprol and vivitrol and asked me to go to AA. Thats how I ended up in AA. Few months into it I started to understand what was written in the book called alcoholics anonymous. You can read it online at AAs' web-site. Read the Doctors Opinion, it will tell you exactly what alcoholism is. And then i embraced the 12 steps of AA. Most people in AA today rely on meetings, very few work the steps (all of them) and they go out. We are suppose to get well first and then start helping others. When we start working the steps as we go towards step 10, that is when reach what they call a 'spiritual awakening' and then continuous working of steps 10, 11 and 12 you stay connected with your higher power.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 171

Have you heard anything about Women for Sobriety?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Athena,

I hope it is ok to jump in here... I was in AA (yes "working the program" with a sponsor) for about a year. I loved AA for the camaraderie and support the meetings and teachings offered to someone desperately trying to get sober, as well as the fact that there is always someone available to talk or assist if you are in crisis.

Ultimately however, there were two things about AA and me that didn't mix well. One was that I was unwilling to give myself to a higher power in the way AA teaches. Like many women, having been forced to give myself away (physically and emotionally) to too many "higher powers" made the need for learning empowerment way more crucial sanity, than giving away my power. Does that make sense? I didn't say it very well.

Secondly was the emphasis on service to others. One of the main reasons I drank too much back then was because I was utterly drained from taking care of so many ppl. I was "support staff" to everybody! I needed to back up and learn to take care of me first and that was not taken into consideration.

Many people (including women) are helped by AA and/or similar 12-step programs. There is much of the teaching I retain and use and am grateful for, but ultimately it felt ... um... less than helpful. I like the sound of a sobriety group for women, but have no experience with one. I would love to hear about your experience there if you go.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Let me tell you, i had the same fear, how am i going to stay stopped rest of my life, how am going to celebrate my birthdays, my kids wedding.....Thats because, we become so dependent on alcohol that we can imagine a life without it. But then we become restless, irritable and discontent a day or two into stopping. Then we think ourselves into taking that first drink.

That is powerlessness. We are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. The book goes on to say its the selfishness and self-centeredness that forces back into taking the drink. So we seek a spiritual solution.

In your area there should be a AA hot-line, you can call them and ask for Women in AA. And they will be glad to visit you and help you out.

Please do not get frustrated that you can't get out of the vicious cycle. Alcoholism is a disease, please make use of the support that is available. Its free. Only thing is your desire to re-construct your life.

Today I am 4 years and few days sober, this is part of my work to look for real-alcoholics and tell them there is an alternative way to spend rest of your life.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 171

Foxman,

Something about what you say really resonates with me. I feel that you understand how hard this is. I am a real loner an I know that I need support to get through this but AA is really intimidating. I have a career working in children's mental health (ironic, I know) and I am so afraid of running into someone I know. I am also uncomfortable with the spirtual piece and the admitting that we are powerless piece. My whole existence is based on the idea that I have the power to make choices about my life.

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