I am upset with myself for not being strong enough to manage this...or control it.
Here is a very crucial fact from the Book called Alcoholics Anonymous:
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
I struggled with the idea of controlling the times i would drink in a week or amount of drinks i would take but always failed. Later i entered AA, i came to realize that i am alcoholic so i could never safely drink any amount of alcohol ever again.
Unfortunately if one is an alcoholic, you could never be content with just one/two drink. There is something within the body of the alcoholic that compels them to keep drinking until they blackout/pass out. This is what the doctor calls it a phenomenon of Craving. Never occurs in a normal drinker.
I totally agree with you that there are moderate drinkers here. And that is the reason i don't post replies to all the posts here. I try to raise the awareness of what alcoholism is. It is just not about drinking lot of alcohol.
There are 3 key components:
The obsession to drink gains momentum once you get into a vicious cycle. Then the in-sanity of an alcoholic mind that leads one to believe that he can handle one/two drinks after a long absence.
The Physical craving after we put one or two drinks in our body..
The restlessness/irritable/discontented/anxious/depressed in forced sobriety...
There is something within the body of an alcoholic that forces the person to continue drinking once he puts a drink or two. I learned this after 4 months getting into the rooms of AA. The Doctors Opinion talks about this phenomenon of craving:
The physician who, at our request, gave us this letter, has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe-that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, or were outright mental defectives. These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent with some of us. But we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.
i am not suggesting you go to AA. i was just trying to see if you can see the 'phenomenon of craving' in your drinking. And that if you are an alcoholic, you will never be able to control and enjoy drinking.
That is wonderful, healthyj. Early on in this journey, i used to wonder how i would celebrate important occasions like birthdays, holidays, new-years, wedding...And that is alcoholic thinking. The book says, we alcoholics come to believe that the whole world revolves around booze and nothing else. But today after few years I could see myself how a changed person i am. And today I was at a Thanks giving dinner where alcohol was freely available and I was able to participate in the event with ease. For that i am so grateful.
What i learned is the 'Craving' kicks in harder as we age. In my own life, I didn't notice this phenomenon until I quit completely. Looking back, the phenomenon of craving was consistent toward the end of my drinking carrier. I was not a guy who would store booze in my house. Always planned on how many beers I would drink for the day or week-end. And invariably, i would fall short of the planned amount and would rush back to get some more. And always regret for going over and decide to do better next time..But would fail again...
Initially it took away my shyness and was able to fell comfortable at big gatherings but slowly as the obsession of the mind coupled with craving caught up on me and once I started working drinking became a daily affair. Early thirties when i got off hard liqour i became restless, irritable, anxious...and switched to beer. Did the beer only on Friday deal for quite some time. But late thirties my drinking accelerated.. Friday only deal became week-ends and then slowly drinking again became a daily deal. And in Georgia they approved those high octane beers and that sped-up my down-ward spiral.
I experienced the progressiveness of the disease. Initially I thought i was in control but quickly lost it...Alcoholism is a deadly disease, a silent killer only those who experienced it will know. Others will not.
This is an excerpt from the book called Alcoholics Anonymous:
The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. An illness of this sort and we have come to believe it an illness involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt.But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer's. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents anyone can increase the list.
Unfortunately we problem drinkers keep drinking until we can't handle no more, Some reach a physical bottom, some mental, some emotional and some spiritual bottom. But there is a solution.
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
