Athena,
I can feel your pain about your children. Mine are older now, early 20's but they still remind me how it is hurting them everytime they see me with a drink. When they were younger, they did not realize that mommy was drinking 2 or more bottle of wine per day because it made me joyfull. Eventually, as I got older, alcool was getting to me a lot faster and they could see that mommy was not the same, her language was kind of blurry, sometime she would trip and fall, sometime she would even drive her car and risk their lives.
I quit for 6 weeks last spring and I was so happy. After 25 years, I felt in control. I have been fairly good at controlling myself over the summer but now, it seems that nothing is working, work, finance, romance and I feel I have to kick myself back.
I have one daughter still living with me and I had a big disappointment this morning so she hide my bottle, she guessed her mom will be sad and have problem dealing with the disappointment. And she was right.
Kids can see so many things, and my youngest told my sister the other day how it had affected their life. You're kind of lucky that you can see it now. I never did until it was too late
) Also, blogging has really helped me sort myself out a bit. I wish more people would blog because I find reading ppl's process really inspiring and helpful. Maybe you could blog while you have that glass of water? 
