Hi, I haven't been on the site again, for a while... so I came here to update. I haven't checked all the discussions that I need to catch up to yet. A few days ago, I helped out a 'performance' 'backstage'. I was sooo nervous, since I haven't done it for awhile, and been at a certain place for over 20 mins. It was so rushy since we were late and all and I did get really anxious at one point, I thought of running out, my legs were shaking and I felt cold, but I stuck with it. It felt so good after and I wouldn't mind doing it again. I realized how i was always 'all or nothing' thinking... so the rushy-ness or mistakes would have always killed me, but this time, I felt proud.. and accomplished. It wasn't perfect.. it could've been better (yes, I'm a perfectionist) but it didn't matter this time. Thank you all for helping me and supporting me to get this far. I actually can believe that I can get better one day... soon.