Red... what are you wanting to work on right now? As you have seen on the Panic site... I am trying to sort through feelings of shame and anger... don't feel like I'm making much progress. Feels awfully overwhelming at times. How are you doing?
Hi Red... I am so sorry I did not respond to this post. I don't know how I missed it... but I did :( I didn't realize you had written until you mentioned in on the panic forums. Gosh... I'm sorry you were feeling so badly. From what you have posted elsewhere it sounds like you are feeling somewhat better. I'm so glad you are back here posting. Your description of what you are working on is quite concise and heartfelt. Depression sux. It just so messes up how we see the world and how we feel about ourselves. It's hard to negotiate... but not impossible. I'm not ready to give up either. We'll be ok. Again, it's nice to have you back.
Hi Paul... welcome back. It is good to hear from you although I am sorry you are having a hard time. I'm so glad you allowed yourself time off to vacation with friends... sounds wonderful. Having a great vacation does make it sooooooooo very hard to go back to work. Sounds like there is more to your "dread" than just the change from vacation to work mode. How did it go today? How do you feel about work tomorrow?
PS. I am just beginning my Monday and I'm still dreading the rest of the day... hoping to do better as I go along! Hoping that for both of us and so interested in hearing how you manage as well.
Hi Purple Blues... what a lovely name to use. Nice one for a depression site :o) What an interesting take you have on Samantha's post. You sure disagree in the gentlest manner I've ever seen. I could learn a lot from you and hope you will post often now that you have broken that barrier.
As for Samantha's post... I read it as a suggestion of what to do when I cannot tolerate internal uncertainty... not that we don't tolerate it well in others (although sometimes that's a challenge too). I agree that those of us who live with any sort of disability (mental or physical) are, as a result, often very giving and insightful. But I do experience anxiety and depression as a result of internal uncertainty.... mostly emotional. I've re-read the post and still don't see a message of blame or stigmatization. Just a challenge to awareness of our thinking processes. So interesting, what differing perspectives can bring out of the same information.
I must say, challenging worry as Samantha describes has been a helpful strategy for me. You sound so intelligent and insightful... I'm interested in hearing more of your take on the program. What do you find helpful? Any lessons with which you have trouble? (At first, I had trouble with all of them!)
Hi peteysmom... Welcome to the Depression forums. I hope you will find all the help and encouragement you are looking for here. As for how to add an avatar pic... the best place to ask that question is to go to the bottom of this page and click on the "Feedback" that is on the bottom menu bar. Techies :) will respond and tell you everything you need to know. I look forward to seeing what you will use.
Thank you for your thoughtful response Purple Blues... very thought provoking. I'm ready to try anything that offers the possibility of a softer, gentler way. I am so very tired of battling myself. Really tired. I can see what you mean about embracing worry... but what about depression? Are you saying we should embrace that? What about fear? And what about negative and positive thoughts... embrace them all? How does that work? What does that look like and how do you get there? I'm kind of leery of those sharp edges.
I'm heading out of town for our youngest daughters' wedding this weekend and anticipate having plenty of opportunities both negative and positive to practice my CBT skills and will give embracing worry a try... telling it to get lost isn't working so well at the moment.
BTW, welcome again to the forums. I do love a good exchange of ideas. Thank you...
Calico... nice to see you back. I too have been struggling with anger. What it is about and what the heck to do with it. There is quite a thread on Anger on the forums in the Panic Center. (You don't have to be a member to read the posts... if interested, go to the top of this page and click on "More Help" in the toolbar... click on "PanicCenter.net"... go to "home/challenging your anxious thoughts/anger"... ). Below I am pasting one post that has been very helpful to me. I have yet to fully implement in a successful way... but I am making progress. I hope it helps. I would love to continue this discussion here and am very interested in how others are managing their anger.
I suppose one needs to feel comfortable expressing one's anger in constructive rather than destructive ways. Emotions/feelings feed the thoughts/thinking, then the physical/doing. Anger is not an evil emotion, just an energy needing direction. That choice thing again, what do you choose to do with it? It depends on what or why you are angry. Sometimes you may not even know why.
First things first, identify the anger. Is it an anger you feel toward someone else - a real or perceived hurt
Is it an anger toward yourself? (I should have done better!)
Is it an anger toward someone who is angry with you - (so you both start yelling)
Is it an unresolved issue of long ago?
There are more reasons, of course. Next is to figure out what you are going to do about it. Use the W's. Who, Where, When, What, What and How. Yes, two whats. Who do you need to express your anger to? Why do you have to express yourself? What outcome are you looking for? What do you want to say? When is the best time to do this? Where should this be done? and lastly, How should this be done?
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