Hey ~M,

 

Good question.

 

You can think of worry as the thought process that elicits feelings and emotions that are construed as anxiety.

Sometimes we worry because we don't have all the information we need, or are unsure about something, or even may be just negative in thinking.

 

Fear on the other hand is a direct physiological reaction to a very specific stimulus. This is the reaction that helped our ancestors survive, how we react to a specific danger and then evoke the fight or flight response where we take on the danger or avoid it. With fear, the body responds in certain ways to prepare for dealing with the danger (e.g, breathing rates change, blood moves to core, adrenalin moves through body).

 

Hope this helps, 

 

 

Some people make a distinction between activities that bring pleasure and activities that give a sense of accomplishment. Some activities are performed for pure pleasure such as going to a movie, taking a bubble bath, wiggling toes in the sand or basking in the sun. Other activities aren’t so pleasant to do but when you finish them you feel good because you get a sense of accomplishment or control over a situation.

For example, cleaning the kitchen floor or tidying up a closet may not be exactly “fun,” but you can feel “good” or “better” after having done a small job because you can feel like you have accomplished something.

Over the next several weeks we are going to ask you to do some experimenting by doing things that may provide a sense of pleasure or accomplishment. Again, all we ask is that you try it and see what happens.

If you’re having some trouble coming up with some activities that will give you a sense of accomplishment, here’s a list that will get you started:

Donating to a good cause
Passing a test
Planning a trip or vacation
Making a piece of Art
Redecorating
Rearranging furniture
Learning something new
Learning how to fix something
Doing the dishes
Writing something well
Saying something well
Making other people happy

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I think now is a great time to have a little refresher on the Dos and Don'ts of supporting online. The below information was taken from the article "Supporting Fellow Members" which can be found on the forums main page. I encourage everyone to have a read of it.  Even if you have already read it, it is a good idea to review.  Sometimes we need a refresh in what we already know. The following dos and don'ts give good basics to follow.  Please share your thoughts.

Don’ts

•Don’t interrupt the thread. If you feel your response will change the thread topic it is best to create a new thread.

•Don’t tell members you know just how they feel. You may be able to relate but you will never fully grasp what others are going through.

•Don’t say things like "get over it", "it could have been worse", or "you need medication".

•Don’t force your values on others.

•Don’t expect that others will always agree with you or see things the way you do.

•Don’t promise or promote quick fixes.

•Don’t give advice. Explain what has worked for you or ideas you have but do not "lecture".

•Don’t press a member for personal details.



Dos

•Do use the member’s name, this shows the member that you see them as an individual and not just another post.

•Do acknowledge the member for the unique and special person they are.

•Do say thank you for helpful responses.

•Do create many threads to talk about various topics.

•Do post in threads to support fellow members.

•Do offer your perspective.

•Do explain other options in terms of actions to take.

•Do say things like "what you are feeling is understandable" and "I am listening".

•Do be nonjudgmental and accepting.

•Do accept other people’s perspectives.

•Do understand that people do not choose to be depressed, anxious, or addicted.

•Do understand that overcoming mental illness and addiction takes time and hard work.

•Do recognize a member’s successes and help the member to appreciate their achievements.

•Do share your personal experiences.

•Do understand that you do not have to solve the problem for the member.

We decided to stay on the same theme as a recent editorial.  The following is taken from the Helping Fellow Members article that is found on the forum homepage:

  The support group should be an empowering and positive environment; using positive language helps create a positive atmosphere. Sometimes it can be difficult to remain positive, especially when members, and possibly you, are going through a difficult time. It is not always possible to put a positive spin on a situation; however, there are skills that can be applied that can help you be more positive in your posts.

  Draw out the member’s strengths:

 Recognize the member for the unique and capable individual that they are. All human beings want to feel valued and sometimes the people who need it the most get the least recognition. If you feel that a member is kind, compassionate, strong, driven, articulate, poetic, or humorous, etc. tell her/him and let that member know how you see her/him. Many members may be starving for this sort of recognition and will respond with increased confidence and possibly become more open to discussion. That being said, it is important for the acknowledgement to be authentic and not forced.

 Reinforce to the member that they have the strength to achieve their goals. Empower the member to recognize this strength. Empowerment means to encourage the member to realize their own potential and their innate ability to control their own future. Through empowerment we are assisting members to gain the confidence, skills, resources and motivation they need in order to take control of their lives. We want the members to have the strength to follow their own unique values and live a fulfilled and healthy life.

  Use positive language:

 It is easy to dwell on the negative; simply discussing the matter in a different tone can help put things into perspective. For instance, instead of saying:

 

    "This is a terrible time for you." Say, "This is a challenging time for you."

    "This was a difficult lesson for you to learn." Say, "This is a valuable lesson for you to learn."

    "This will be hard to resolve." Say, "You will overcome this."

 

Reframe:

 Also, try to positively reframe a situation to make members aware of the good in a situation. Sometimes it can be difficult to see the good in a situation when you are the one going through it. Point out to the member the positives you see in their situation without minimizing how they feel. For instance:

     A member states: "I can’t seem to do anything right. Today my partner was mad at me and when I tried to talk to them they just shut me out. I feel so confused and frustrated." A possible response, "Good for you for addressing the situation and trying to talk about it with your partner. Your partner may not be ready to talk now, but you put yourself out there and that shows you care and are willing to talk about it. What do you think you could do to show your boyfriend that you are willing to talk when he is ready?"

Staying positive can be difficult when you are not feeling like yourself.  How do you stay positive when interacting with other members even when you are feeling negative?

Major life changes often result in role transitions. By definition, when we’re in a role transition we move from an old role to a new role. Because the new role is, well, new, it can be hard to adjust to - and it can be difficult for other people in our lives to make the adjustment to our change. Other people in our lives may have difficulty accepting, or getting used to, our new roles.
This is why role transitions can lead to depression as people struggle to define themselves in their new role.
Role transitions can lead to significant problems in relationships because new roles require a change in expectations. For example, when people have children, each person’s role in the relationship changes from “married” or “partner” to “parent.”
People often have difficulty defining themselves in that new role. They have trouble changing their view of themselves from happy go lucky or workaholic to responsible parent. Others get into conflict in their relationship because they and their partner have different expectations of the role transition and what the new definitions of parent means. Remember: people get into disputes when they have different expectations in a relationship, and role transitions often create a situation in which people can have very different expectations about the new role. As a result, role transitions often result in relationship problems.
If one or more of your relationships has been affected by a role transition, you may find the rest of the session on role transitions and relationships very helpful (session 4 and 7 of the MORE HELP portion of the program).  If you don’t think you’re currently struggling with a role transition, you may still find the information in this session helpful for understanding other peoples’ struggles. At the very least, it will prepare you to cope with future role transitions.
How has role transition affected your relationships?

Hi Everyone, here are some basics of progressive muscle relaxation. A great way to relieve tension and stress if done effectively. 

 

Gently arch your back to tense the muscles of your lower back. If you have lower back problems skip this part. Hold for a count of 10 then relax for a count of 20.

Your Chest and Stomach
Take a deep breath and tense all of the muscles of your chest and stomach. Hold for a count of 10 then breath out and relax to a count of 20. Repeat.

Your Shoulders
Try to touch your ears with your shoulders to tense the muscles of your shoulders. Squeeze the muscles for a count of 10 then relax for a count of 20. Repeat.

Stretch your upper arms backwards, as if you were trying to touch your shoulder blades together. Hold for a count of 10 then relax for a count of 20. Repeat.

Think back to the last few days, what has been on your mind?
When you notice your mind wondering where does it wander to?
What have you learned about yourself?

 This exercise is a great way to take a step back for a moment and become a little more self-aware

Hi Marianas,

 

Sorry to hear your depression has started to impact different facets of your life. 

In saying that, you have come to the right place and hopefully we (health educators) and the wonderful members here can help out as well. You will find a lot of different information here in the support group, stories, and as you have already noticed, a welcome place to share experiences.

 

As well, you will see a very extensive program where you can work through different worksheets and get a lot of great information. 

You were looking for something to focus on other than emotions and what ifs. I think a good place to start is with goals. When set effectively, goal setting can be very positive.  Setting goals will help direct your focus, increase confidence, increase self esteem, increase sense of control, and act as a motivator as you work towards feeling more like yourself.

Section two of the program discusses goals and how to go about setting and meeting them. There is some homework involved as well so be sure to work on that. Hope that this can act as a good starting point and will provide you with that focus you are looking for.

 

Thanks for sharing with us, and keep checking in to let us know how things are going.

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

Myth: 

Fact: 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

First off, a Happy Hanukkah to all those celebrating the first night tonight.

Now to the statement:

 

Drugs used for treating depression are addictive

 

This is actually a myth.