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Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Quitting tomorrow

Im preparing to quit tomorrow and lm getting quite nervous about it. The problem l have when l try to quit smoking is l cant stop thinking about it. I get very strong emotional withdrawals. I think about smoking all day. I even get very depressed. I just feel something very important is missing in my day. Are such strong emotions like this normal?
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Another quit attempt.

I wish you so much strength. Im quitting tomorrow. We can do this!
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Where Does The Heart Go When There Is Nowhere to Hide

Original Post by: nonic
Good day fellow travelers:
 
It breaks my heart to read through many of the posts here.  That is so because I hear the anguish and understand the pain that cessation's path requires.  For so long, as addicts, we played a game of hide and seek. When trouble came our way, when people's actions and unforeseen events sent daggers through our very souls and anger, rage and sadness cut us like a knife, we ran and hid behind that ever present thin blue veil. We metaphorically put our hands to our eyes, inhaled the vapors and swore no one could see us there.  And in many ways that was true. No one could see us there, because we internalized the pain we felt and eased its sting by bathing our wounds in a good old nicotine bath.  And we did in that way become invisible. 
 
However our invisibility also stripped us of our opportunity to confront the source of our indignation, our hurt, our sorrow our grief.  By rendering ourselves invisible, we lost a million chances to grow stronger in our own hearts. We let go our opportunity to forge a stronger bond between our internal world and the external world. We fell victim to the ageless fear of the forest.  We wrapped ourselves in the soft folds of addiction. We did not stand up for ourselves, we failed to practice gratitude for the life we have been given, we did not speak calmly to our aggressor, we did not reason with our partner, we did not address that which brought us so much pain.  And the world heard no more from us.
 
But where does the heart go when there is nowhere to hide?  The truth is that the heart needs no place to hide.  The heart (self), that which you know yourself to be requires no excuse for existing. You are the product of a gardener of vast skills.  You have a right to grow stronger, you have a right to seek the sun, to stand tall and be proud of who you are.  You are a living breathing creative being who has something to add to the cosmic conversation.  Do not silence yourself through self inflicted addiction.  When the heart has nowhere to hide it must grow stronger, it must gain the confidence that comes from accomplishing difficult tasks, it must grow in compassion because it already knows the sting of rejection.
 
Remaining addicted is tantamount to destroying the vessel (body) in an effort not to experience the soul (self).  Cessation is a chance to engage yourself, find new ways to deal with old problems.  It is a second chance.  Take hold of it today, tomorrow and on all your remaining trips around the sun. 
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic             

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1294
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 38,820
Amount Saved: $13,587.00
Life Gained:
Days: 253 Hrs: 6 Mins: 43 Seconds: 32

That is so beautifully written. Thankyou. I am reading to prepare for quit day tomorrow.
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Quitting tomorrow

Thats exactly what it is - well put. I feel like lm losing something important to me and very vital to my daily routine. Im going to have to use all my strength. I want this so much. Thanks
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Day 2 Quit smoking

Hi how are you going? Are you still tabacco free? Im just about to quit so l sympathize with you. Its a hard thing we're doing but remember the hardest part will be over in 1-2 weeks. If you fail just try again. Good luck!
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Quitting tomorrow

I flopped my first day. I had a stressful situation come up and caved. I really noticed my stress trigger and how l have such a knee jerk reaction that says l need a smoke coz lm stressed. l have to adjust my thought pattern....that l CAN handle stressful episodes without smoking. Its so engrained. 
Im starting again tomorrow. I have organised things to have minimal stress though l know the stress will come from quitting. The best thing l can do is rewire my brain to believe l can cope with stress in other ways.  
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Quitting tomorrow

Any help, advice, support is very much appreciated.
Im going to use this post to write down my feelings (that could be often- excuse me)
l just thought its a good idea to have a "vent page" to use :)
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Quitting tomorrow

Thanks to you both. Thats so true for me too Stellablue, that l dont make a huge mountain out of this in my mind...or else lm sure to fail. Im trying to treat it like no big deal. Well lm on day 2 and doing fine with the support of NRTs. Sleeping was hard though. I had some sweats and nightmares. Did this happen to anyone else? 
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Quitting tomorrow

Thanks so much for your replies and support guys. It is really reassuring to hear from others who have done it. It reminds me its not impossible. And lm taking in all the info and advice l get. Ok so the dreams are normal...lol stellablue...."better funky dreams than funky breath"...so true.
My blog section doesnt open so lm going to use this post for venting. I welcome any comments but dont feel obliged.  
I caved again. It was a case of depression + withdrawals = giving in to smoke. I let myself down though because l didnt try to use any of my coping measures. I gave in too easily. So lve learnt something. 
Attempt 3 starts today! Ive got this!
Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
2.5 years since last quit

Yayyyy!! Well done on 1 week achievement. Im starting mine cold turkey today so you give me hope. Thanks.