Hi All,

I have been suffering from depression (not diagnosed by a medical professional, just my observations of my former self vs my present self) for 18-24 months now, as well as moderate to severe anxiety for about 6 months. It has taken me a long time to admit to others that I need help. At first I thought I could fix it on my own, and I tried, but somehow, this has gotten too big to handle without help.

I finally admitted to a few of my close friends how close to the edge I feel most days after almost cancelling a hiking date (one of my favourite activities) with one of my closest and dearest friends. I hadn't spent any one-on-one quality time with her for a while, and should have been thrilled at the opportunity. Instead, I found myself looking for excuses to stay home. Fortunately, I did go on the hike and confided in my friend. It was at that point I recognized just how unmanageable things had become.

It is a huge step for me to admit that I can't manage on my own. I'm hoping this community will be able to provide support and guidance in my journey to overcome this. I'd really like to wake up and embrace each day instead of feeling like I'm going mad.

J

Thank you Ashley,

I have just made an appointment with my GP to discuss medications that may help. At one point, I was averse to medication, but I am tired of feeling so out of control... I know medications help others. My son needed them in his teen years to over-come depression...

I look forward to being part of the community and will get started on the CBT homework.

I know I'll get through this, its just going to take some time. If I feel the need to actually speak to a counselor, preferably in person, how do I go about that? While I've always been averse to medication, I find talk-therapy also helps me get things sorted. Friends help, but I don't want to constantly bombard them with my problems.

Thanks,

Jackie

Hi Ashley,

Here are a few of my thoughts:

I want my family and friends to know I'm not lazy (or crazy, for that matter). My house is a mess because I cannot summon the energy to clean it, not because I don't want it clean. It helps me when they understand and chip in to help get things in order. Having my home in a state of disarray is a contributing factor in my battle with depression, but I largely feel powerless to do anything about it. That is just one analogy, there are many more... I am fortunate to have understanding family and friends, but I don't want to be an on-going burden...

Personally, I think I'm hindered by anxiety, along with depression. The two together have me feeling powerless and paralyzed to be able to get over either. This not only affects my home-life, but my work-life too.

Back in the olden days when I was a kid, I didn't even have a clue what real depression was. "Why can't they just think happy thoughts and get over it?" was my question. Now I understand that it is not that easy. I want others to know that depression is real, that it cannot be overcome with "happy thoughts" and that those suffering are not crazy. One cannot "just get over this".

Jackie