Hi, this is my third time going through CBT. Yep, third. I have experienced depression for as long as I can remember right back to 6-7 years old. I accept that depression/anxiety is part of my life and will always be. The most recent trigger for a downward spiral is a combination of the death of a sibling and extreme daily pressure at work. My sibling went to sleep and didn't wake up, no cause of death was determined and now my last thought before going to sleep each night is "what if I don't wake up?" So I can relate to the thoughts of death. The work pressure is from something most people shrug off and I really envy people who don't spend a lot of time in their heads thinking. Life must be easier for those people. I wasn't quite at the zombie stage of depression this time when I went to my doctor and admitted I couldn't function anymore on any sort of level and I'm thankful to have access to therapy through benefits at work and thankful for a strong union agreement that has allowed me the time off work until my brain stops screaming in rage.
What has worked in the past is face to face therapy both with a counselor and a psychiatrist and prescription medication. The "C" part of CBT helps me to become more aware of my thoughts in a more objective way.
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