Hi Im Miakoda and I've been suffering for depression for a year now. I had a very rough year in 2006, which led to a 17 year breakup, the selling of my house, and 3 moves. In Jan 2007 my doc diagnosed me with severe depression. I have been taken off of work since then, and have been in a relationship for 2 years.
For a year now I have been having complete mood swings ranging from happy one moment to complete rage or sadness the next. In the past few months suicide has entered my thoughts. My depression is mixed with my love for alchol, which doesn't go good toghether, and not to mention mixing with the meds.
On Dec 21 I was hospitalized for extreme depression and suicidal. My meds were adjusted (remeron) and I was perscribed Seroquel. My Bf has always tried to support me, even though he has a codependency problem in relationships.
On Dec 31, he decided that he had had enough, and that he needed a time-out. He left. And honestly, I have no clue to whether he will be back or not. So, with all that, I feel like I am just trying to survive this "New" year. And its sooo hard.
My family doc put me on remeron, it worked good for a few months until the anger/rage feeling kicked in. I finally went to the hospital to emergency and saw a psychiatrist the next day. He perscribed seroquel. My moods feel much better. I think you should see a psychiatrist.
Thats a good one! I for one can say that I have been through a real tough time. Im beginning to wonder if my depression could have been cause by my BF's condition.
Maybe Danielle could help explain to me exactly what is "la dependance affective".
thanks!
Well, as for friends, no I really don't have any. Friends were friends of BF's. As for family, I've got my parents, but I'm not that close to them to talk to about certain things. They've invited me over to spend the night or have supper with them, but I really don't want to because my mom can get to be a little bit annoying. She tries to pry, and wants to know everything, she treats me like Im still in my teens, although Im 39! But I guess thats how moms are, I wouldn't know, I've got no kids.
I've managed to communicate with a crisis center, and they're trying to get me an appointment a.s.a.p with a psychiatrist. Hopefully I won't have to wait 3-4 months this way.
I've also got an appointment next friday with a private psychologist. Praying that BF, has not taken me off of his private insurance.
I'm trying like heck to keep myself busy, but things keep playing over in my head. I'm definalty not looking forward to the weekend. I know I'll still be sitting here waiting for a phone call from him, at least hoping to have some type of closure.
I think we tend to judge ourselves too much. Instead of appreciating our qualities/talents that we have, we always try harder to immprove them, or if we are really feeling down and low, we don't see them at all. It is nice to have people who we don't really know point out our certain qualities once and a while, just to remind us that they are really there!
Hey thanks I feel a bit better now. It's true that he [i]will[/i] do what makes him feel better. I guess there really is no sense in sticking around "incase" of a phone call. There's a community center that's having a late holiday party tomorrow night with the good old "quebecois" folk music and a buffet. Tickets are only 12$, so maybe I'll give it a try. It's a step in a whole new direction of..... "just for me!"
Hello and Welcome!
We do have some similar problems don't we? Me too I thought the remeron wasn't working for me, I tried cutting the dose slowly by 10%, but that did no good either. So back on remeron and now combined with seroquel. I find the combination better. The remeron just threw me into complete happiness and then rage.
I guess you know as well as I do that alcohol is a depressant. Not too good to be combined with the meds, but what can you do. Sometimes, its one or the other, yet in my case most of the time its both. I know its bad...trying real hard to work on it. Im happy to say that I had not had one drop since last Sat. :)
When you say hurting yourself, what exactly do you mean? You do have emergency help line numbers I hope.
Chronic stress of your relationship could be your problem. I'm beginning to realize that my depression was probably because of my relationship with someone who had no self-esteem.
You say that your wife is abusive, no one should be in an abusive relationship, have you tried couple therapy?
And don't be sorry for the long post, I've done it myself.
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