Hello from a new member

Hello. My name is Martha, and I'm not quite sure how this site works yet so please forgive any dumb or redundant questions. First of all, I can't figure out what CBT means. Did I miss a definition somewhere? In any case, I'm just glad I found a forum where I can come to perhaps read about and talk to other depression sufferers. I've been suffering from depression for approximately 6 years now. It all started with a slow but steady waning of my sex drive. Then, shortly thereafter, I became pregnant and during my second trimester I suddenly became extremely depressed. It eventually got a little better, but after I had my daughter in February 2001, I never completely recovered. A vicious cycle occured that I can't seem to get out of. I gained a lot of weight, my self-esteem took a nose dive, my sex drive got even worse (it's basically non-existent now), and the more I stressed over it, the worse I felt. Rinse. Repeat. I've read books. I've done therapy. I've tried meds. I've got to many different doctors. It never seems to really get better, only just about manageable at best. What I really want is to feel normal and happy again. I've begun to lose hope that it'll ever happen, and that too makes me feel worthless and hopeless. My daughter is now 5 years old. My husband is ready to walk out the door. If it weren't for my daughter, he would have left a long time ago. We have been having problems since my sex drive went away, but over time it's become worse. He is basically sick and tired, angry and resentful of having a constantly sad, tired, unmotivated, socially phobic, non-sexual wife. He knows it's a medical condition, but still FEELS as though this is something that I somehow can "fix" if I just try hard enough. Of all the people in my life whose support and love I really want and need, it's his....but I don't get it. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm not suicidal or anything like that, just thinking that maybe he'd be better off without me. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. We're in therapy, and for a while it was getting better. Lately though, it's been getting worse again. I feel so badly for my poor husband. It's not fair that he's had to be put through this, but I also know it's not my fault either. Sorry to vent. I've had one of th

Lexapro to Welbutrin to Effexor....

I'd been on Lexapro for over a year, and it had stopped working and made me very lethargic 24/7, so my doctor moved me to Welbutrin XL 2 weeks ago. Everything seemed to be going fine, but then I began to get nauseus. It got worse and worse, and yesterday I couldn't even function or get out of bed. As of this morning, doc took me off Welbutrin and prescribed Effexor. I am so terrified of getting sick like I did with Welbutrin, although she assures me side effects like that are uncommon. Anyone have any advice, suggestions, etc? I'm still so nauseus...how long til the Welbutrin gets out of my system? Thanks! Martha

Lexapro to Welbutrin to Effexor....

Hi Sharon, Since I've only been on Welbutrin 13 days, my doctor didn't seem too concerned about weening off of it since my body's probably not too adjusted to it yet. I think what I'm going to do though is wait a few days to start the Effexor. I still feel so nauseus that the thought of ANY meds right now makes me feel queasy. Martha

So discouraged with med setback, and spouse offers nothing be negativity

My doctor recently moved me from Lexapro to Welbutrin because the Lexapro was making me to tired and lethargic. Unfortunately Welbutrin didn't work because it made me sick as a dog. I'm now going off of it cold turkey, and doctor is now prescribing Effexor. I'm terrified to take that because I've read the effects of coming off of it are so terrible. I've decided it's time to see a psychiatrist because my doctor is limited in her knowledge of depression meds. Unfortunately, it may be weeks until I can get an appt. with a shrink in my insurance network (can't afford out of pocket). My husband is offering ZERO support with this unfortunate setback, and I am SO hurt and SO angry and feeling SO lonely and alone that I'm ready to walk out the door and tell him it's over. The ONLY thing stopping me is our 5yo daughter, who is the light of my life and the ONLY thing keeping me going when my husband turns his back on me. My husband has many years of pent up anger and resentment over my depression and my inability to "cure" or "fix" it despite MUCH trying with therapy and meds. I do understand how he feels, but at the same time I need him to TRY to put that aside to show me he still cares and loves me. He won't. Then the mother****er has the nerve to tell me that he think I love HIM "conditionally", after the other day he told me that the he realizes the vow "for better or for worse" doesn't mean anything to him anymore cuz now that we're in the "worst" he doesn't like it. Talk about conditional love! His current method of showing me how much he cares is by completely ignoring me. Why is he mad? Well, we had tickets to a Depeche Mode concert tonight, but I'm so ill from the Welbutrin we can't go. He promised me he wasn't angry and that he understood, but now the truth is coming out. I'm brokenhearted, physically ill, emotionally drained, and don't know where to turn. Martha