Hi Ashley!
*Updated
**Updated Part II at the bottom of this post
***Updated Part III also at the bottom of this post
Thanks for your kind words! I wish I lived closer too, I would love to receive cuttings from your beautiful plants! Propagating air plants is easy. An air plant will blush (turn color), then grow a stem from the center, and the stem blooms into a flower. After the flower has bloomed, there will be one to three pups growing out from the base of the Mother plant. When the pups are one third, to one half of the Mother's size you can hold the Mother plant and gently twist the pup at the base, counter clockwise, to remove the pup! I have a T. Ionantha Peach that had a pup that separated naturally from her Mother when I placed them in their weekly soak. You can leave the pups on the Mother and have a family clump as well. There are a few members in my air plant group that have raised them from seed pods. It's really an amazing hobby. I'm looking into cacti. It's fun to do research.
My week was certainly unexpected. Moving to Florida has changed for various reasons. I had it all planned out for the past eighteen months and then the rug got pulled out from under me. It was certainly a shock and it was a really uncomfortable feeling to sit with for a day, or two. However, I decided with Florida off the table, I would be happy to move to my hometown. I'm still adjusting to this change of plan. But, I'm doing well. I'm not going to food anymore and my current weight loss is six pounds! I don't have a set time for the weight to come off, so there is no pressure. Whether I lose three pounds, or one pound, the scale is still going in the right direction!
I've had to have truthful conversations with people and to set boundaries this week. In the past, confrontation, or even just communication would stress me out. What I've found is when you are truthful to people, guess what? The world doesn't implode and most people are quite amiable about it. Who'd of thought? Lol. I have times where I could remain overwhelmed, or just tell people that I'm tired and I will talk with them another time. Also, the most important lesson I've learned is that my happiness comes from within. It does not come from outside sources and other people. I make my own happiness. This way, when people change their minds, or change their plans, it doesn't throw me for a loop. It's like water off a duck's back. I'm flexible and go with the flow. And, I don't take anything personally anymore. Other people's moods and decisions have to do with them and what they are going through. It is not about me. Now if I called someone a name, then sure, that would have to do with me. But, a lot of things I used to put on myself was just unnecessary stress. I've decided that no matter what happens, I can handle it. I'm strong. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I've had people pop in and out of my life, but I remain steady and stable regardless. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, but I'm not depending on them as my sole source of everything. I have many pots on many burners on the stove, so if one pot is gone, there are still other things going on in my life.
*I have limited energy to invest in people. If they are toxic, and they go against my core values of peace and quiet, I let them go.
Regarding weekend plans. I live twenty-six miles from D.C. The government was in the middle of planning a return to work protocol, but due to the Delta variant of COVID-19, they have not decided on how to handle it. Although California went maskless, masks have been reinstated as mandatory to wear indoors, because of the number of outbreaks, hospitalizations and critical conditions. A lot of people don't wear masks in my town and act like everything's back to normal. I still wear a mask inside and outdoors, because maskless people have coughed and sneezed around me and someone in a store turned around and exhaled in my face. I am not worried, I am fully vaccinated and will continue to wear a mask. There will be a COVID booster shot out soon. My high school reunion was rescheduled for this year, but I don't think we're there yet regarding groups of people who are coming from all over the US and staying indoors. It's common sense to continue to protect myself. So, I'll be wearing a mask to the grocery store to get out this weekend. But, I am enjoying crocheting a blanket, watching movies, and doing other creative activities at home. I enjoy my air plants and my Chihuahua, and chatting with friends on Facebook. My weekend plans continue to be at home home hobbies until it is safer. I did visit my hometown last weekend with a mask. I took my dog for a check up at my hometown vet. I went to Santoni's Gourmet Market and picked up a myriad of my favorite foods to take home. And, it was great to drive around without a mask on and just enjoy a day trip! I look forward to many more of those trips.
**Part II update
I've lost 8 pounds! I have 27 more to go.
I was sexually harassed on social media by a man who is friends with my girlfriend. She and I have known each other since we were eight years old. She told me that I made a severe accusation, she took his side, and she told me I was judgmental. I blocked her man friend from social media. And, I blocked her on my phone, in social media, and in email. Then, my dad called and told me he didn't want anything to do with me anymore and bye. So, you can imagine my day yesterday. My dad is an abusive person and he has done this to me over the years. I cried and sat with my emotions. Then, I thought, I can't calm the storm. But, I can calm myself until the storm passes. And, I thought, forgiveness is a gift I give to my dad and moving forward is a gift I give to myself. I love my dad, I respect him as my father, but I will not allow him back into my life to cause more turmoil and drama. My husband continues to take my dad on errands and food shopping and I'm grateful. Depression tried to take over my mind. So, instead of focusing on the relationships I lost, I took account of who I have in my life that I can depend on. It wasn't as bleak as I thought. I have an extremely small group of people I trust and I am grateful. Some are long distance and one is close. Today, I have peace.
***Part III update
I just had clarity on why I've struggled with weight loss in the past. To be honest, it was due to stress in my life. I've had other health issues caused by stress, backache, headache, etc. which are gone now. Stress releases cortisol in the body and makes it difficult to lose weight. Now, that I have eliminated all of the stress that I can, and I have reduced stress as much as possible, the weight is coming off. Prior to a toxic friend and a toxic family member, I couldn't lose more than 4 pounds. Now, I've lost 8 pounds! Stress kept me emotional eating, before I was able to manage it with CBT. And, stress kept me weight resistant due to the release of cortisol in my system. What a revelation! Another milestone!
Hi Ashley,
*Updated
**Updated Part II
***Updated Part III
****Last update for this post
Re: air plants. Indirect sunlight is best. Sometimes they can take years to bloom. So, I think it's just a matter of time.
Re: weight loss. I've been losing 2 pounds per week. I lost a few pounds before I joined. I eat less in the summer, because it's so hot. And to be honest, I've lost my appetite with the friend and family drama. Before I struggled with portion control, but now my portion sizes are correct and I'm seeing results.
I'm doing well. I have peace about everything now. I slept really well for the first time since all of this nonsense that happened with the ex friend and family member. I just think about all of the good things in my life, stay in the present, and forget about the past. The only thing in my life right now that is bothersome is wanting to move. But, my husband wants to wait until retirement to move and that's 8 years from now, so that's a long wait. We have new neighbors who are noisy. And, post quarantine people have gone crazy. I went to the yarn store and an agitated man came in with a loaded gun. I won't go back to that town again. I don't feel safe. Since I have no choice and I have to stay, my solutions are to occupy my time and have patience. It's been a bit of a Twilight Zone episode for the past two weeks. I'm hoping things will settle down now. But if they don't, I'll continue to settle myself and keep my peace and remain calm. It will all pass.
*I've just decided not to think about where we will move when we retire. Or, be concerned about the next 8 years. Staying in the present means not thinking too much about the future, as well as not spending too much time in the past. I feel better in the right here and right now. The past can cause depression and the future can cause anxiety. In the present is where I have peace. Everything will work out the way it's meant to be.
**Now that my dad is no longer in my head, I'm able to think clearly about I want and not be manipulated into doing what my dad wants. I had great communication with my husband yesterday and we had an open discussion about what we want. I feel good about my future, because my husband and I are doing much better. I think my dad divided and conquered. It was like my dad was trying to plan my future with him. He would bully me to do what he wanted. During the 14 month stay at home order in Maryland, it brought my husband and I closer. He is dependable and that is one of the reasons that I married him. So, we've been back on track without interference from my dad. Sometimes things work out for the best, even if the outcome was different than I expected.
***A couple of things threw me off two days ago. My dad was giving me stuff back via my husband. Dad's still trying to make me feel bad and I don't. And, my bank lost a large deposit. I shook off my dad's shenanigans. And, I went in person to the bank to find the error. The bank deposited my check in a joint savings account rather than my individual savings account. So, the situation was rectified. Afterward, I decided to go grocery shopping and I started picking up comfort foods that I used to buy. I wasn't aware of it at the time. When I got home, I was snackish and I ate a little more than usual. I became aware of what I was doing and I portioned out the snack. The next day, I started snacking without portions and I called myself out on it. I asked myself why am I knowingly eating empty calories to sabotage all the work I've done and to keep myself stuck in a place I don't want to be regarding eating habits? So, right then and there, I took all of my snacks and threw them in the trash. Now, I can't eat them and now I can work on what's really bothering me. I came across information online re: deconstructing your life, so you can reconstruct it and design the life you want. Food isn't going to solve any problems, so I'm reading a book about how to make my life a life that I love. Why not? Today, I'm back to portion sizes and other hobbies to keep my focus off of eating. Although with no comfort food in the house, it's easy not to eat unhealthy if I don't have it in my house. I highly doubt that I will overeat the squash I have in my refrigerator. Lol. Anyway, I'm back on track, I didn't throw in the towel and give up, I'm continuing with my healthy lifestyle. And, I'm going to be kind to myself and wait a couple of weeks before I get on the scale again. I know a scale is just a tool, but it has been an issue in the past for me. It has made me give up at times, so why punish myself for two days of a few extra calories? Life isn't perfect and I am not perfect and that is okay.
****I solved my problem with problem solving, not with food. I read the book and it was fantastic! I did a life assessment and I feel better getting it down on paper rather than having it floating around in my head. I'm exactly where I want to be and I'm living the life I want to live. I thought I was lacking in love, but in truth and reality that is not the case. I have many people who love me and who are there for me. There are different kinds of love. And, there are different ways that people show love. Love is love whether it is long distance, or a text, or a phone call, or a pet. I wrote it down, so when I feel lonely I have it there in black and white. I have plans for my future and future retirement. The place really doesn't matter, it's what I do to make myself happy. I can be happy here, in my hometown, in Florida. When I get down in my thinking, it's a signal that I need to get out for a bit. Whether it's to go to the coffee shop, book store, retail store, or take a drive out in the country. Sometimes I've thought negative things, but when I write down the truth, the facts, they are irrefutable. So, whenever I feel something is not right, I will look at the facts and get my positive thinking back on track. I learned a lot today!
Well, here's what I've come up with so far. I'm choosing to stay home. Personally, it's not worth the risk. Over time, I'll get to the point where I won't think about it anymore. It will become a normal lifestyle. I'm resilient and I've adapted every year and I will continue to do so. So, I'll eventually get used to the new way of life.
Also, my grandparents lived and worked on farms their whole lives. They didn’t have money for vacations, or to go out. When we retire in 7 years, we’re getting a 5 acre hobby farm. We’ll keep busy with a vegetable garden and other hobbies.
When I was a kid, I played on a farm my whole childhood. It’s a familiar lifestyle, not something to adjust to. Upon retirement, my life will come full circle.
