I am so glad I found this site, I hope it will help!
I have had anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I remember having symptoms of them as young as 5 yrs old, and still am continuing to deal with them to this very day. I wasn't diagnosed with them until my early 30's and have been up and down this roller coaster since then. I later found out that my mom had panic disorder along with a few other of my family on my moms side of the family, not to the same degree that I did, but she never told me. My daughter was 13 when she started having panic attacks and I addressed it immeadiatly by taking her to a Dr and she works and does things I can only dream of doing, medication free. She has her moments, but she learned to cope because I made sure she didnt have to suffer the way I did. I was eventually told by Dr.'s that it is a chemical imbalance and is genetic. I don't think many people understand how dibilitating this can be unless they have had one panic attack in their lifetime.
I am unable to drive at this time, or work. I am just getting out of the house again. I was doing so great, had a good job, and moving up the ladder to bigger and better things. I had a boss that sexually harrased me, and made comments about my panic disorder to other employees and told me that I wouldn't move up because of my panic attacks. I was put on medical leave by my Dr as I started feeling like I was finding it difficult to go to work after 2 yrs of this abuse. During my medical leave, I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. My boss had brow beaten me so much, that I had nightmares about him yelling in my face, <which he did while I had worked there> After my diagnosis or PTSD, things went downhill from there. I lost my ability to drive alone....I had worked so hard to get where I was....and it was gone. I also lost my confidence in my appearance, my abilitiy to be home alone...get another job....go for a walk alone..go out with family memebers etc. Leaving home, was awful, as I felt safe only at home and not far away from my comfort zone. I know all of what I have described above is normal as this is not my first rodeo of recovering.
I just feel so hopeless, as I worked so hard to get where I was..and I am not sure if I can recover this time. The starting over is so tiring and overwhelming. I just want the life I had back......the one I worked and fought so hard to achieve........I am hoping that this group will help me recover and give me some hope, advice, and encouragment to get my life back. Thanks to you all for any thoughts or question.....
