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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

What´s up with this?

Hi all,

Didn't know where to start this thread, so figured this was good as any.

A have dyslexia, although I don't know if this is related or not. It started awhile ago. I won't say it is age related cause it has a different feel to it then just forgetting where I put something.

I will be in the middle of something, and when I reach for related to the task it's not where I put it (where I THINK I put it).

It could be right in front of me, but my eyes don't see it. Even if I slowly scan the area my eyes still don't see it. I used to get frantic, cause it really upset me terribly and I would have a panic attack. Now I gently ask my husband in a calm voice if he can help me. And sure enough after I tell him what I'm looking for, it is right in front of me. It's as if it's invisible until someone points out where it is. And it's not that I'm not paying attention or being fully conscious in the present, I am. I know all that 'stuff' and practice staying present.

I have the condition where I can't remember what faces look like - I once passed my son up on the street and he had to call to me.

I thought it might be a new phenonenon related to dyslexia, since I can read something, whether I wrote it or someone else, and I miss a word. Now I know everyone misses a word here and there sometimes, but I can even put my fingers on the words or numbers (if I'm doing book keeping) and it just isn't there to me. Again, my husband will point it out to me, or the bank, and then it becomes visible again.

Any thoughts or ideas on what it is and how to 'see'.

All would be appreciated.

Andie

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

What´s up with this?

Thanks, Asley. The prosopagnosia I already know about. I put a name to it a few months ago. Now, I no longer feel embarrassed and my anxiety level has gone down tremendously, even more so after I tell someone and they are very understanding. Before, because my shame and fear level was so high, it triggered people's anger and all I could say, was, 'you're right' to them.Now, I let people know up front that I have this when I 'bump' into someone on the street.

I explain about the usual experience that alot of people experience of not recognizing someone because the person is in a different setting, exp - the receptionist from your MDs office in the grocery store.

The SSS I will discuss with my MD. Thanks for the info. Andie

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Pleasant Activities

Juanita - I love your picture - are those your pets. It's just so sweet!!!!!!!!!!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Myth or Fact?

Boy, this triggered memories I haven't had in a long time. I can't allow my mind to go back there, it is too painful and I immediately start to hyperventilate and get a knot in my throat, like now, so I'll stop.

I've had the paanic attacks that immobilized me - that was when the incidents that created all my PTSD were happening at that instance, so the intense fear and panic attack was real. Those are over - thank God. But I can't think about them and I was very careful who I allowed into my life after that until I did major healing work.

My last panic attack was in B&N a few weeks ago. We had a phone call from a client that triggered it. I tried to do breathing exercise but I was too far gone. The tightness in my throat, the hyperventilating, and the heaving like I would vomit came on too quickly. Luckily my husband was with me and I was actually able to walk over to where he was and tell him. He quickly put down his book and took me outside for fresh air and to talk about it. He got me focused and I was able to calm down at that time. It became more of a controlled attack after that and I knew I would eventually fall apart again. I could feel it in my nerves - still shaky. When I got home I had to pace up and down, up and down for a very long time, my mind felt psychotic, and I couldn't sit still. I thought I needed to go to the emergency room or check myself into the psych ward - I haven't had one like that in 6 yrs. I was able to get ahold of my psychiatrist 's office and just knowing he would see me first thing in the AM was calming enough. He changed my meds around and gave me Rx for Xanax. I had put off getting that type of med but was too afraid it would happen again. Just having it on me and knowing it is there is help enough, so far.

I know why it gets triggered but still can't figure out how to handle situation since I can't talk back to the client the way I would like. The way they speak to me makes me feel like they're an abuser talking to their child instead of being calm and talking the situation out like two equals. It's mom belittleing me all over again. I can self talk and I understand it logically, intellectually but the emotions still rise up.I have learned to wait until next day so the person calms down. Although even the next day my husband finally hung upon him. I think I mentioned this incident on another posting here. And we tell them we cannot let them abuse us or talk to us in that manner. If it happens again with same person, we let them go and lose the account. Our well being is more important to us. Well, I've rattled on, sorry. I guess this was cathartic!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Hi everyone... my story.

Hi Silverfern,

Welcome to the group. I'm pretty new, a few weeks maybe a month. Everyone is so nice and full of info and compassion and stories of their own to identify with. I have been doing the lesson plans and it is very helpful. I see changes in myself and can even say i allow myself to feel happy some of the time,

I look forward to the time I spend here, it's my special time.

Andie

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Pleasant Activities

Hi Juanita,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

Hope you had a great, memorable, peaceful day.

You brought back memories of when my son was 2 thru atleast 8. He had a small stuffed dog with a silk ribbon. I had to find another one when the original got discustingly filthy.uck ! He became more interested in the ribbon. Would hold the end and brush his face with it while he sucked his thumb. As the years past, dog disappeared and the ribbon got so small until it was just a few small threads which together we placed it in a small container as a ceremony. Once in a while when we were alone he would open it to feel the threads until eventually as the years past we would look at it together as a memory with a happy warm loving feeling inside. He's now 23!

It's still early enough to enjoy the next few hours of your time placed on earth !

Andie

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Herbal Remedies - Ask the Expert

In the past, I tried whatever I could find in the health food store related to my symptoms, including St. John's Wort - it was very popular at the start of this new century. I spent alot of money (understatement) and nothing worked for me. I like homeopathics. I did find a few that worked for me - not related to anxiety/panic/depression/etc.

As a former nurse, we had lists for some of the remedies which can be dangerous when mixing with meds, as. I recommend if someone wants to try this path, it's important to work under careful supervision with a holistic MD that is highly recommended. Most workers in 'natural' pharmacies and health food stores are not well versed in everything necessary to know about each remedy.

Back in '96 I went to an MD for my depression. She gave me a homeopathic remedy while in her office. Within days I started having svery strong suicidal thoughts - luckily it dawned on me that it was a result of the remedy - too strong! I don't want to imagine someone not remembering how homeopathics work if they had suicidal thoughts.

Well, that's my two cents!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

exposure to distressing thoughts - discuss Nov. Ask the expert question

This my 'take' as a trans-personal therapist - and of course it isn't the be all, end all - as we do more healing and as they say ' it's like peeling an onion - there are many layers'. Then, finally, if you've had the courage and fortitude and a great foundation (usually a strength drawn on spirituality or...), you get to the center, where all our 'crap' came from. The core beliefs that are ingrained into us are from birth (in the womb) thru 5 - all we can do having recognized our patterns and thought processes that we continually acted out and finally realized, is to figure out a way to bypass them. They're not going away. They're all based on the survival needs - which boil down to feeling and being loved or not, to the ill thoughts our parents had during those years etc. We continually need to stay in reality, the here and now, when we get thrown into a panic attack, once we realize what triggered it, it becomes less and less. much more detailed then this - just a synopsis.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

exposure to distressing thoughts - discuss Nov. Ask the expert question

Would love the names of the articles to read - from what I understand, core beliefs are not curable, they are ingrained. Ican gain understanding about them and then proceed from there, but they will always be there. Everything I have done and do is a result of these beliefs. I just have to recognize why my actions were what they were becaue of these, etc. and so on.

I don't know what we are allowed to say and not say here, so I'll have to leave it at that. Don't want to cause controversy.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Session 7 Walkthrough

I'm at session 7 and noticed that the person before me on this site didn't receive a response to the posting. I, too, feel the same way - it isn't the symptoms, it is the situation. Isn't it important to get to why the panic attack came on, what set it off ? To understand what the trigger is and get to the beliefs I have formed and eventually get to the bottom of why I formed that belief in the first place? It also speaks of using a buffer such as a person or object. Well, then, isn't CBT also a buffer?

Eventually, our back is going to be up against the wall, and we will have to face 'it' eventually, if we ever want to get past all of this.

So, fill me in. Perhaps, what might be best fo me are some sessions with my psychiatrist to gain some insight as to what has triggered this at this time and phase in my life. Once I get to that the 'attacks' should subside.

The last time I had a period in my life like this was 6 years ago, when I had to do an intervention for my 17 y/o son by sending him to a lock up facility to try and save his life (too much to go into). It was a real situation that caused the panic attacks.

My having severe attacks could be traced back to the beginning of my time and what I learned and what was instilled in me by more parents and significant others and the accumulation of events over my life for not having bothered to unravel it sooner. Atleast, this is what resonates for me. And what will fit into a few paragraphs.

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