You know it's funny but when you have this disorder you think everyone has good days, no emotional up/downs, no agitation, no anger and then you find out by talking to people other than on this site that they too experience some of the same things. The only difference is they haven't been diagnosed with a disorder.
Thanks for reminding me it's just part of life at times. I guess I just get really fed up with the way things are at times and that fuels the anger and agitation. My mum keeps telling me to find some kind of hobby to occupy my mind & you know what she is ususally right. Maybe I will try crocheting again, although anytime I do try my mum jokingly tells me if you plant it in the ground it would grow quicker. Gives you an insight into how fast I crochet, I do have a lot of unfinished projects - ha, ha.
Glad to hear everything turned out ok and hey even before this disorder I was never a party person, so good on you for facing your fears head on. Onward and upward so they say. You know Joe and I still haven't figured out who they are yet, but we will.
You know what when I read this post I thought what a good idea, I'm going to take the challenge. Easier said than done for me, the negative thoughts come so fast and furious that it's hard to get them down on paper.
So mods any suggestions on how to tackle this roadblock, shall we say?
Last night I was very depressed and today very angry. You see my dad bugs the hell out of me, I won't go into detail suffice to say he has ruined our lives (mum & I). So even the sight of him just sends me and the anger is getting worse. I don't even like admitting this, you know in this past 2 years I have had to deal with so many emotions. Panic, depression, fear, anxiety but this anger I just don't know how to deal with it. I feel I can't take anymore of this, it's by far the most destructive by that I mean emotionally.
By destructive I mean it eats away inside me being angry and arguing with mum as we were so close. It's a very powerful emotion. I have spoke to one of my social workers about this and they said the reason I am in such a turmoil is because before all the emotions were directed towards me and now another person is involved - my mum.
The person' s advice (very briefly I might add) was to take a time out. I mucked around on the computer last night and found a really good article by the American Psychological Association entitled "Controlling Anger Before It Controls You".
I tell myself I am a bad person because I can get so angry which we all know doesn't help the situation in fact it makes me very depressed and who needs that. I was not like this before, sure I would get angry at times like everyone else but sometimes it's as if a switch just gets flicked on & I just don't like myself anymore because of this.
Had a pretty good day at school. My pre-conceived notions about my classmates is being broken down and I am finding that there is much more to them than meets my eye. One of my classmates in our check in class today said she is motivated to get up in the morning to come to class by thinking about seeing all of our faces and the fact that everyone is accepted as is. It was really touching, I think I need to start looking at my classmates differently and not making judgments ahead of time as I am finding out they have hopes and aspirations just like me.
I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time.
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