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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Lousy Day

Thanks for the advice Joe.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

New!

Hi Ya Lynda:

Welcome to the community, here you will find a lot of caring people.

I thing of the support group as my on-line cheering section who a there for me on the good days and willing to console me through the lousy days.

Here you will never be alone.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Merry Christmas!

Hi Ya:

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to one & all.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Guys:

Well I have had a pretty good week until last night, couldn't sleep well, couldn't breathe right, thoughts racing all over the place & thinking something was going to happen to me. I was glad when the morning finally came.

Now it's nightime again & feeling very panicky, frightened something is going to happen to me, heart racing and so is the thoughts. When does the battle end with this, you get maybe a good run of oh lets say a week maybe even a day, then bam the uphill battle (yes I said battle) continues. Does this bloody thing ever permanently go away!

Don't even want to go to bed tonight because of the bad night I had. Oh well I guess I'll have to go to sleep sometime - right?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Josie:

A lot better thanks!

I made it my point not to muck around on my computer after 9pm - I just shut it down. The next thing I did which wasn't planned - I watched one of the old movies called "It Happened One Night (1934)" with Clark Gable on TVO last night. I don't usually watch TV anymore but this was a really good movie. It didn't finish until 12pm, so maybe that helped too because I was really tired at that point.

I guess I just don't know how to deal with the relapses, the scary thoughts, the racing thoughts. How do you not pay attention to especially the scary thoughts, I wish someone could tell me a way - especially when you are scared out of your wits.

Anyway here's hoping for a better day. Right now it's snowing again, although they predicted rain. It was like a skating rink yesterday so I couldn't even get out, I did try but only got to our corner.

On a more positive note I have had a lot of milestones, being able to stay in at night all this week, being able to stay in until 3pm before I go out for a walk, baking again for the first time in about a year. It hasn't been all bad this week, but you know what when you have a relapse whether it be for a day or two all I can focus on is the relapse not all the accomplishments I have made.

Oh yeah, something absolutely amazing happened you see I love kids. I was in our local bookstore just sitting reading on of the books and these 4 little kids who were there with their caregivers came running down the aisle just enjoying their self. They all stopped in front of me in a semi-circle and I asked them if they were having fun and if they were all ready for santa coming. I then asked them their names & they all told me theirs. Then this one little cutie asks me "What's yours" , I cracked up they were just priceless. Anyway to make a long story short their caregivers were taking off the kids jackets & the little cutie who asked me my name shouted down to me "I can take off my own jacket" . I told him he was clever. One of the caregivers came to apologize for the kids talking to me I told her they made my day - boy did they ever. Just as the caregivers were taking the kids upstairs I said bye to the kids & the little cutie said bye. For me it was one of the best moments that have happened to me, so I have that memory to reflect on. Just wanted to share that special moment for me.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Joe:

You know no matter how I'm feeling if I see a little cutie out on the street or a dog or cat that can lift my mood up in no time.

Let me ask you something did you ever look at relapses the way I am, as a setback, a failure, a never ending battle? If at one point you did & you now view them as opportunities to move forward, what changed your outlook? Did you come to the self-realization that changing your attitude could make a difference for the better?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Fibre Frenzy

Hi Ya Faryal;

Thanks for the tips in between my chocolate bars I will try to have some fibre - only kidding. It's good to know the different sources as I know I should be eating better.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Lousy Day

Even Lousier Day:

The irritability and anger are getting worse so much so that mum has just said to me that she thinks we will end up having a rift between us. My world feels like it's falling apart at the seams, you see I used to be so close to my mum before this nightmare, yes I called it a nightmare. To me it has been and still is, who am I kidding the lousy days out number the good ones. I just feel like going for a walk and not coming back, this isn't getting any easier. I argue a lot with my mum because some times I think she just doesn't understand, sometimes it's because of my father who drives me crazy.

I wish it were back to school time so I wouldn't have to spend so much time at home, who knows maybe mum does too. I just don't know anymore!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Karen:

Thanks for being there and your suggestions. I did complete Relationships and Resolving Disputes but when I tried to view the Communication Analysis Worksheet from my toolbox I got the following error message.

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Once again I really appreciate your feedback.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Lousy Day

Hi Ya Karla:

Sorry to hear you are in the same boat as me, but I would like to offer you some words of encouragement. I too suffer from Panic Disorder since March/08, I used to get oh at least 4 or 5 PA's daily and the majority of them were full-blown. On a scale of 1-10 they felt like an 11. I never thought I would get to a point were I wouldn't have daily PA's but I did & you can too. I used to be afraid of almost everything the wind, the clouds blocking out the sun, going down to our basement. With Cognitive Behavior Therapy (no meds by the way) & I won't kid you a lot of hard work and perserverance the PA frequency started to decrease to the point I am at today where if I'm really stressed out I might - I said might get one. But in no way are they of the same strength or duration as they were back then. I guess what I'm trying to say is you can & will get through this, if I can you can.

As for Hypnotherapy I can only speak for myself but it's not an option I would consider. I am writing my college essay on alternatives to medication for anxiety, depression and panic disorder. Maybe the moderators would like to comment on my findings, I have read good things about Lemon Balm and Theanine, both have calming properties and are not addictive. Lemon Balm has been around since the Greek times & Theanine can be found in green tea which we have heard about the benefits of drinking green tea.

Like so many people have told me, just try to take it one day at a time.

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