Cool cornish-dee, maybe you could look for a quilt-making class or something! Or start designing clothes and making them yourself - that would be neat!
This year I joined a medieval women's choir, and it seems like it's going to be so great! I'd like to do softball in the spring too, just a rec league.
I am just wondering if any of you have any tips for this type of situation!
The exposure work I am doing is for my vomiting phobia, which is my main (only?) problem as regards anxiety. I can do exposure work, certainly, and am in the middle of doing a lot of work with looking at pictures, after which I will move on to books, sounds, then videos without sound, then videos with sound. My goal is to be able to watch movies without knowing ahead of time whether or not they have a vomiting scene in them.
The problem is that vomiting is not always something that can be controlled. I just started Session 5 today, and it re-emphasized how a person shouldn't do any non-planned exposure therapy. I guess I want to ask: what happens when you are shoved into a situation that you would have put months in the future if it were up to you, like for me suddenly seeing someone vomit on the street or feeling nauseous oneself? How do you handle it?
Breanne, thank you for the encouragement. I will take you up on that - I may come rushing in and post all panicked one day if I ever have to confront a situation that I "don't feel ready" for!
Jhori82, I might try that meditation idea. Thank you!
Genejockey, did the vomiting episode make your wife's phobia go away completely? Or does it still make her afraid but now she just knows she can handle it?
I'm sorry to come on here and whine :( But I got pretty desperate last night. I've been doing 20 minutes a day of looking at pictures of vomit/people vomiting for exposure therapy for my vomiting phobia since the beginning of August. The picture I'm looking at these days is super gross (it's from that restaurant scene in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life). By Monday it was hardly scary at all, and I had such a busy day Tuesday that I missed doing it. When I came back to it on Wednesday, it seemed soooo scary I could hardly look at it. I managed with my husband's encouragement.
Then last night I sat down to do it and pretty much started freaking out after about 3 minutes. I actually felt like I was panicking for an hour, which they say isn't possible or something, but I'm not so sure! It did come in waves though - I was in a total mess for a few minutes, then resting for a few, then it would come back...
I can't believe it was so easy on Monday - it was just how I hoped it would eventually be, just gross, like most people would think, and not panic-inducing. I could not get the image or the idea out of my mind last night while I was panicking, no matter what I did.
Thanks so much everyone! It feels good to hear from people who may understand
jhori, thanks for reminding me! That's the book of Job. All his children died, his property was taken away, he got sick, all his friends thought he was crazy, etc., and he wound up sitting on the ground all alone scratching at his sores with broken shards of pottery - and yet he never cursed God or doubted His goodness! He did ask, "What the heck are you doing?" but God's answer was "Who are you to ask Me that?" and then He gives a whole bunch of reasons and reminders about why He's so much smarter than us! (The basic answer is "You don't need to know why - just trust!") I think I will read Job again...
Thanks Breanne and April for the reassurance :) And April - I know it's gross! Sometimes I think it would be easier to do exposure therapy if my phobia was of something less inherently unpleasant, like, say ketchup or frogs or cotton balls or something! But there's no use thinking about that I guess!
Hi cornish-dee, thank you so much! You guys are all so supportive. Yes, the Monty Python one is a pretty bad scene, and eventually I want to be able to watch it, not just look at a still photo from it.
I often wonder about pregnancy, because my husband and I really want to have kids and I want to start trying next year if my phobia is under control. Part of me thinks that it might help, especially if I get bad pregnancy sickness like you did - talk about in vivo exposure therapy! I would just have to get used to it and learn how to deal with it. But part of me worries and thinks, "I'm not ready for that possibility!"
Thanks again for the response, it means a lot to me :)
Just be careful and if you feel uncomfortable with anything, don't let her do it. As you probably know, not all spirits are good, and the ones that aren't can masquerade as angels of light, as Satan himself does. For that reason I don't think dabbling with spirits is a good idea (the Bible warns against it).
I also struggle often with being home alone. For me it's because I have a vomiting phobia and I'm very scared of the idea of getting sick while I'm alone, so I always want my husband to be with me when I feel sick or scared. I too have called him home from work or outings several times, and I totally understand the guilty feeling afterwards - it's especially strong when I've asked him to come home from something fun, like going to a movie with friends. I feel like I put a damper on his fun sometimes, being so needy.
I guess my only advice would be to make a plan in advance for exactly how you are going to handle it next time it happens that you feel anxious or panicky when you are home alone. Write it down, and then take it out as soon as you feel like you need to be reminded what to do. You can make a list of things to check off - lists always help me, anyway! - like 1. take 10 deep, slow breaths; 2. progressively tense and then relax every muscle in your body; 3. take 10 more slow breaths; 4. drink some water; 5. take a warm bath or curl up in bed. Those are obviously just suggestions - write down whatever helps you! Maybe work in a period of writing down and then challenging whatever your particular anxious thoughts are, like for me it would be "I'm probably going to throw up, and I won't be able to handle it because I'll be alone!" Then I would challenge it by saying, "I probably won't throw up because I only ever have 4 times in my whole life, and I've felt nauseous 1000s of times" (I have IBS or something that makes my stomach troublesome). "And besides, I've been sick on my own before and I survived - nothing terrible happened, and I felt proud at the end!"
Those are some lovely ideas, darkblue!! I like the idea of your home being the sanctuary and the place of peace. Also, good for you for coming to be able to accept things out of your control, like the timing of the bus! That's a much healthier way to think about it than worrying and stressing over what MIGHT happen if the bus is late or whatnot. You are very inspiring!
I sometimes wish I had a job that I could forget about when I left, but because I teach, I have lesson preparation to do, handouts to prepare in between lessons, stickers and prizes to go out and buy, etc. But I think I might still try your idea of debriefing in a journal after every day - that sounds very helpful!
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