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Posts created by Genejockey

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

what a trigger

Not to be too much of a pessimist. Africa is amazing in other ways. I would feel real seperation anxiety if I couldn't be near the african bush. Just a few hour drive away I can fall asleep to the sound of lions at night. It is magical. But Johannesburg. Bleurgh!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Bad PA today. Just venting.

Well I am not great at visualisation. My mind wanders and if I am really anxious then I start to focus on my heart beating which makes the anxiety well up inside and just makes me irritated. I think you have to engage in your visualisation for it to be completely relaxing. I think that's why the music helps me to become part of the scene I am imagining.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Bad PA today. Just venting.

Thanks everybody

I have found that deliberately experiencing a PA and trying to intensify the experience does put the control back into your hands. When you allow a PA to happen and you welcome the experience then the anxiety never reaches the same intensity as when you try to fight it. My shrink calls this paradoxical intentionality. The only problem for me is that when I am in a cycle of anxiety this helps, but when I begin to break free of it I don't want to experience a PA as I feel that it will start the cycle again. And it usually does. So this is something I need to work on. The way I feel today and yesterday is a great start though because I really don't feel that much more anxious than before the PA.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Medication...

Medication is a complicated issue for me as well. My Doctor initially prescribed me benzodiazepines. But only a small number of low dose tablets. Then she prescribed Stressam which is a non-addictive anxiolitic. But this did nothing for me. Typical isn't it? If something works it has dozens of side effects and if it has no side effects it is ineffective.

Now she has prescribed antidepressants for me but just like you my therapist feels that they don't deal with the issues. So I am just as confused as you. Should I take them or not? Once you start antidepressants you have to be on them for between 6 months and a year. So I am reluctant to begin them. My wife is on antidepressants but they don't really help. She cries less but otherwise they don't solve any problems. She just began the depression CBT course so hopefully it will help her as well.

If I can give some advise. If you are responsible with the benzodiazepines then use them. I think that they become a problem when you feel anxiety if you are separated from them. If they help to stop a long panic attack or help to alleviate some GAD then they are a force for good. But If you feel you can't leave home or do XYZ because you don't have access to them then you are becoming dependent on them (psychologically).

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Bad PA today. Just venting.

I am the same. I am a fighter. Hopefully I am more of a warrior than a worrier :) But fighting PAs isn't quite the same. Allot of the fighting is really just passively accepting. Being at peace with them. This goes against my nature. I think that's why I am good with situational PAs like driving or for me going to the gym. I do it "on a mission". I experiences PAs but I am driven and so it doesn't affect me badly. It feels like a battle or fight which I must win. It is very tiring. But the worst is sitting at home trying to read or watch TV and then getting panicky. This kind of battle can only be won by acceptance and perseverance.

I also lost my motivation. I still haven't gotten all of it back but most of it has returned. Except for work! I was fortunate that I have been very rewarded by my hobbies so I am beginning to claw my motivation back. I am sure that my love for my work will return. My de-motivation is partly because my research has been very disappointing.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Strong

Congrats!

I know how difficult it can be to sit through a lecture when you feel panicky. Well done about the job as well and you are very brave for being up-front with your employers!

You are strong!!!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Share!

Diva you will do great!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

You people

Nice post! This is a fantastic service. Whoever decided to offer a free course such as this one with all the support should win a medal!!!!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Problems with avoidance

I don't avoid very much except that I do like to be distracted.

I am just tired of doing things in anxiety.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Personal success but it sure feels good!

This is one success story that I am sure nobody else will relate to! But I feel elated so I thought I would share this.

I spent the whole day anticipating having to do a heavy powerlift in a gym with unfamiliar people. I drove 60 kilometers through peak traffic to get there, which was one long PA I'm afraid. This was awful but I did it anyway. Just wish I could drive without fear...

In powerlifting we wear "safety" equipment to help us lift heavy weights while also providing safety. What this involves in getting into a really tight shirt (claustrophobic tight- so tight it leaves you full of bruises) called a bench shirt and of course lifting heavy weights. Seeing as I used to obsess over cardiac health this was a bit of a mountain for me to climb and I haven't done this in a very long while. I thought I would freak out once in my shirt because you cannot get out of the shirt without somebody helping you. I ended up lifting a personal best. The weight was so heavy that the pressure in my head made the little veins around my eyes burst and I felt really dizzy. But this did not trigger a PA. And guess what? I am alive and my heart is fine and it can handle a great deal of stress! Exercise helps me to feel more confident about my health and I have allot more faith in my own body thanks to it.

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