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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Divorce

Hi Miki

I am like you. I married my highschool sweetheart so I haven't gone through a big breakup either. But if he cannot move forward then maybe it is for the best. I am sure that you will be able to handle it. Think how well you have handled panic.

You really aren't bothering anybody. This must be a very difficult time for you. Please post here as much as you need and I wish that someone through a divorce can give you some good advice.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Bleurgh !

Hi CD

Hope you are feeling better today and that you got some sleep.

Gene

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Personal success but it sure feels good!

Hi Guys

At the moment I am also feeling that "sensation of feeling a PA could hit at anytime". I had a PA a few hours ago. What I can say on the positive side is that the sensation doesn't last as long for me anymore. I used to spend days with that sensation. But today I realised about two or three hours later that I had forgotten about the PA. This is big progress for me. Last week Monday was when I had my last PA before today and then I felt far less anxiety than after previous PAs. And today the PA hasn't really unsettled me that much. Challenging my thoughts while I was having the PA also dramitically reduced its intensity and length. Last week Monday (before I learned about "challenging my thoughts") the PA lasted for nearly 5 hours. That is a very yucky feeling. Today it was far shorter. This means allot to me as situational PAs are something I can fight head on but these unexpected ones, which I seem to bring on by thinking myself into them, are more difficult to challenge. How do you challenge a PA that started while sitting on the couch watching TV?

Nice motto Joe and Miki I am very happy that I could give you some help. BTW Miki I like your motto as well.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Problems with avoidance-Part 2

Hi CM

I must agree with everybody about avoidance. It is a bad habit. But I also think that if you have avoided something that you must try not to dwell on that particular failure. Some days you feel stronger than others. Once you have done something though you must give yourself a pat on the back. Hey, if you went to your course or did any other challenge then start a post under success stories and let everybody remind you how significant your accomplishment was. When you are feeling negative you only focus on the bad stuff and failures and you write off your successes. If you believed something was a challenge then it was one. When you vanquished your own demon then give yourself all the credit you deserve and tell us about it. Perhaps we can help on some subtle level to improve your positiveness, which I believe to be very important in your recovery.

Gene

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Personal success but it sure feels good!

Thanks Breanne.

Sometimes its difficult for us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Well I speak for myself by like Jhori82 I also think I still have along road ahead of me and I too will no doubt suffer from anxiety for the rest of my life. But what is changing now is my attidude. A couple of months ago the idea of even a few months or weeks of this seemed impossible and overwheliming. Now I believe I can handle this. Also, on the positive side like jhori82 said it has given me a renewed persepctive on others. My wife recently has sunken into a deep depression and I don't know if I would have been as supportive before this happened to me. I am grateful that I may provide her with care without being condesending and patronising. People at work have said things to her like "get your act together" or just "pull yourself out of this". I too might have felt this way (well I have no way of knowing now). But now that I have experienced the feeling of being out of control of my own behaviour I can empathise with her. And empathy is more powerful than sympathy.

We all have our demons to fight. PD has also forced to re-evaluate many other aspects of myself and my outlook on life in general. To a large extent I have overcome my "people pleasing" nature, I am becoming more selfish (in a good way) and I care less of what others think about me.

Jhori82 just don't add what Placebo adds to the phrase "A friend in need is a friend indeed" ;) But seriously thanks. I do feel much better when I post here and it is nice to know that others care.

BTW- the fear of the next PA is not strong in me today. To continue with your starwars theme- I have not come over to the dark side (yet)! But the force is strong in me.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Problems with avoidance-Part 2

Hi CM

Congrats on going to the course!!!!! The fact that you went back later is great. That's how you begin to feel more confident about something. Don't downplay your success you have done a fantastic thing and I am very happy for you.

I know exactly how you feel about the plaguing thoughts. They just keep on resurfacing despite your efforts. I have suffered tremendously with this. There are a couple of things that will help though.

First of all, just because you are thinking something does not mean that you will act on it. You still have complete freedom of choice regarding your actions. If you embrace this idea it will help. Even if you did fall in love with him because of confused feelings- you already know this a possibility and therefore you will understand the nature of your emotions as being infatuation and not real love that you have to act on. Even though right now you are not in control of your thoughts and emotions you are always in control of your actions!

Secondly, the only reason a fearful thought replays itself is the emotion you attach to it. If you remove that emotion the thought will naturally go away. The way to relieve yourself of the emotion is to challenge the thought. I once suffered with the idea that I might go mad. It kept replaying itself in my mind causing massive GAD with constant worrying that my panic will drive me crazy. The way I relieved that emotion was by researching and challenging that thought. I discovered that it is basically impossible for you to think yourself crazy. You can think about it all day for years and it will never happen!!!! If something is impossible you will eventually not agonise over it. If you are worried about going crazy read the post "irrational thoughts and headaches". I also used to worry about my heart. So I went to a cardiologist and he gave me the all clear. I can't say that the worry went away completely or immediately (esp when I got his invoice!!), but I do feel allot better and I no longer obsess about it.

Thirdly, you have to realise that you cannot will a thought away. The idea of willing a thought away invokes that very thought! They go away on their own when we no longer attach significance to them.

So the only reason you think those negative thoughts is because they carry significance to you. It does not mean they are real or that they will force you to do something you don't want to do. It's exactly as you say "I am associating what happened in the past with my situation now".

I don't how you will apply this to your situation but I REALLY wish you good luck and hope you find some peace. You are never beyond help!!! Hope you don't mind me writing this long winded essay but I just want to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Problems with avoidance-Part 2

Glad I could help a bit. I just saw your first post and you seemed like you needed a pick me up. I felt just like you did perhaps three weeks ago. So sometimes you can heal quite rapidly.

Congrats for going again today! I hope it goes better than yesterday. But you did well then for going back later. It will help. I had my first PA in the gym where I hyperventilated and experienced extreme panic. A few months later I felt that way again. The same intensity. But this time was different. I took a break and went straight back and finished off what I wanted to do. At first I felt dissapointed that after months of panic disorder that I could still experience such an intense PA. But actually the difference was huge because the second time I went back. Going back to face the situation that caused you panic is massive progress and it will lead to breakthroughs. Even if you aren't immediately aware of it.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Personal success but it sure feels good!

Ha ha. I really liked the responses from all. This place also makes me smile.

Jhori you are always giving good advice and you have a great attitude. I believe that it goes a long way. And you can steal my post whenever you want to. I know I have done the same on other peoples' posts. This PD is slowly starting to loose it's grip on me. And that's ok. But if tomorrow I have a bad PA I know that I will again feel better and no matter have low I am after the PA it will pass!

I also must give my thanks to the health educators. It is an incredible thing you do. When we recover from PD I believe that the best thing we can do is post here with our successes. I know that reading of how other people have recovered gives me hope. DazedMommy for example continues to post here I really appreciate that.

Yes Dee, schools should teach people about things like depression. The WHO reckon that it will become the most common affliction in industrialised nations. And yet little is known about mental health problem and people who suffer from them are frowned upon.

Thanks Miki for the kind words. Sometimes I don't believe that about myself so I want to try my best to help my wife. She is a fantastic lady- she just doesn't realise that herself yet!

Oh and Jhori the Placebo version then continues with "but a friend with weed is better" LOL. Oh yes and may the force be with (aren't we a bunch of geeks!- I am actually a proud geek. I was so excited when about the large hadron collider turning on in Europe today that I got goosebumps!)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Personal success but it sure feels good!

Ha ha. I really liked the responses from all. This place also makes me smile.

Thanks Miki for the kind words. Sometimes I don't believe that about myself so I want to try my best to help my wife. She is a fantastic lady- she just doesn't realise that herself yet!

Oh and Jhori the Placebo version then continues with "but a friend with weed is better" LOL. Oh yes and may the force be with you (aren't we a bunch of geeks!- I am actually a proud geek. I was so excited when about the large hadron collider turning on in Europe today that I got goosebumps!)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

ER Visit (for my work)

Hi Joe

Just like me. The after effect isn't so big anymore. That is real progress. If you begin to loose your fear of fear then you are doing very well.

Gene

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