Mine are caused by dreading eating which in turn causes me to panic. So in my case the egg came before the chicken Looks like it's different for everyone though!
I hate having to think about eating every time I sit down to eat but now I'm trying very hard to question myself each and every time. Seeing the babies eat was a really good thing, it makes me think about it every time and that they never had a problem with choking or anything. Nothing goes bad for them so why should it for me? Asking myself that question every time, the answer sure is helping. I mean, I've been eating these little tiny morsels and they just stuff huge amounts of food into their face
I do think it's getting better, I know I'll have my ups and downs but days like this make you hopeful! Hopefully on a bad day I can come back and read this.
I don't think it's a bad thing you comparing your cat's death to your grandparents. I can relate to that, my cats are just as big a part of my life as anything else. They become part of your family just like anyone else. I know that you'll be ok though and will get through it. It will take time and it may never heal but that's just a part of losing someone you love. I don't think it does any good to forget them completely whether they're human or animal, I don't think it matters, if they were a part of your life then they're important. Just remember that he had a good life and it does him no good to keep on if he's suffering.
I don't know what you believe in but I think he'll be with you in some form and I think he knows how much you love him. I really believe that animals are smarter than we think they are sometimes and I think they can sense how we're feeling. I know you'll keep him in your heart always and it will be painful but you can get through it, I think he'd want you to. The best thing you can do is be there for him as I'm sure you already are.
You're always so positive, I love it! Glad you know what the cause is now so that they can work on treating it soon. Hope the pain can start fading away!
Since going to visit the inlaws I haven't had a single panic attack. Hamburger was my biggest obstacle and I even managed to have a hamburger yesterday and eat the whole thing instead of panicking partway through and giving up like usual. Wasn't so hot with spaghetti either but had/having spaghetti for dinner tonight (eating while I type!) No problems. I haven't even had to have the big glass of water around me lately, I don't know what has changed but I'm not even thinking about eating like I used to, it was just the "I want spaghetti tonight" with none of the "I want spaghetti tonight but oh, I don't know if I'll be able to eat it. What if I can't eat it?"
I sincerely hope it doesn't go away this time, it came back for a bit after going to see the doctor but since the inlaws it hasn't poked it's ugly anxiety head in...yet anyway! Eating is really one of the simple pleasures and I love it so it'd be nice if it sticks around for good this time
I think in this case it would be ok if you did "freak out." I'm sure the vet would be ok with that, they probably have people do that a lot, I'm sure they'd understand how you feel about your beloved cat. It's a sad day for you, I hope you can get through it. My thoughts go with you, I believe you're doing the right thing, I would do the same even though it would be one of the hardest days of my life so I can just imagine what you must be going through.
CD: I went out last night for dinner with my fiancee, had chicken souvlaki with rice pilaf just like normal, didn't get panicky at all If I went on a diet, I'd disappear probably!
So far so good! Crossing my fingers that nothing changes!
He knows you loved him. I believe something that has the capacity to give us so much love in our life has a soul, whether it be as small as a snail to an elephant I personally believe it doesn't matter. I don't really know if there is an afterlife or what there is in store for us, reincarnation or otherwise. If there is then I'm sure our pets would meet us there, why not? They were a big part of our lives at one time so they should be a part of our afterlives as well I would think.
Take as much time as you need to grieve, there's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling sad but I don't think you should feel guilty. I honestly think that people should be given the same courtesy as animals rather than living on to suffer if they really are suffering horribly I think it's crueler to make someone continue to live on when they don't have the quality of life anymore.
I would take the rainbow as a good omen. Please don't feel guilty! You have nothing to feel guilty about! Your cat loved you and you loved him and he knows it, you gave him the most wonderful life any cat would have loved to live, just remember that. I think you did the kindest thing that we can do for them when they're suffering and I don't think you should feel guilty for that.
Sounds like you had a lovely day CD! You're always so positive so I know you'll get through whatever comes your way! Hope you can get to sleep again soon, keep in touch with your friend no matter what!
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Looks like it's different for everyone though! 
