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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

A visit to the dentist

Hey Minnesota..

Birdie is right. He's your hubby is your partner.. in sickness and in health.. good times and bad. He may not always "get it" but he loves you and only wants what is best. Unfortunately men like to "fix" things and he can't fix you. He probably feels helpless and frustrated at times but I'm sure he would not want you to be carrying around this guilt.

Cut yourself some slack.. if you had any other illness you would be much more forgiving of yourself..but because it's mental.. we just can't seem to accept that it too can be debilitating.. *sigh*.. the stigma of mental disorders / illness...

It's the way of the world though now and there are many more like us than not...

You're on your way Minnesota and before you know it you'll be in a better place and this will all be a distant memory...

Take care :)..and go to the dentist! $400 is better than a crazy bill for an infection etc that could be prevented.. lol :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Is it possible to fully recover from Panic Disorder?

Hi darkblue

I have thought about this many times but to be honest I don't think you ever completely fully "recover" as you coined it.

I think though (and have experienced) that you will go through times of "normalness" because you've found a way to positively incorporate it into your daily living. By learning coping mechanisms and using them in your daily lives the symptoms become less and less until they are no longer... A beautiful thing... the best part being that you don't even know the "exact" moment at which it happens but find yourself looking back wondering when it became so good.

Like all things in life though, things change. It could be jobs, hormones, death of a loved one, illness, university etc. and because they are things that have never experienced previously you may experience a "setback"... but that is all it is.. and you take a moment to readjust, make the changes that are needed and again move forward.

So on a positive note.. I think you end up in a BETTER, more empowered place. You are taught to look within yourself and accept yourself in a way a lot of people may never experience. It is what gives you compassion, empathy and all those wonderful qualities this world is often lacking.

I've had wonderful years mixed in with a few setbacks.. but life is a learning curve and if you're willing to ride the waves and embrace who you are and not battle it every step of the way.. it will be easier.

I just recently had a "step back"... and it was really hard for me as I had thought it was GONE after years of peace.. but here I am a few months later with more lessons learned and another reminder of why I'm thankful for the life I have.

Hope this helps.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Is it possible to fully recover from Panic Disorder?

darkblue..

You are only 19...and look at all you have accomplished. You don't have to give up your dream to be on the force... you just may have to put it off for the immediate time being. You have plenty of time to make that jump and you'll know when it is right. My goodness, your list of achievements are amazing.. I think you must definately be your own worse critic as you should be basking in what you have achieved thus far being only just a few years post secondary...

I'm 34 and am now changing careers after years in marketing and sales... I have 2 children (amazing ones I must add :) ), and a brilliant hubby...but I am now studying nursing administration. That means I am studying disease, sickness etc. This in itself is something I NEVER would have believed I could do as much of my anxiety was illness related. (fear of having, developing etc.)

It's something I'm good at though and my marks have been fabulous.

That being said.. you don't have to give up... You just have to be patient with yourself. Set your small goals and soon they will add up to one huge one. You'll be on the force one day.. I surely believe that.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

bothered by a little setback

Hi Mya...

Ok.. I'm laughing .. not at you but with you.. We are so similiar.. all of us on here. You have to remember the meds are a tool not a cure.. Your thought patterns have been happening for a very long time so although the medication helps ease the physical symptoms which in turn eliminates the majority of your panic attacks, your thoughts are still your thoughts. It's similiar to singing along to a song for years and years and then one day someone hears you singing it and corrects you on the words.. and you can't believe that you've been singing it wrong all that time. ha. I'm famous for this. So now that you're in a better place it's time to work on reframing your thoughts. This is where a counsellor etc. could be really beneficial. I'm currently looking for one too as with my setback, my OCD (obsessiving thinking) was quite bad.. and I found that I wasn't able to cope very well . I'm MUCH better now but know that the meds are working and that I haven't really changed anything and I need to to prepare for the next time.. that is if there is one.. (hoping not.. lol.. )

As for the paxil.. 10 mg is VERY low of a dose and isn't even considered "medicinal" (if that's the right word) so it could be that you do need to try uping your dose. I went up in 5mg increments. I would have the pharmacy dispense 10mg tablets and I would break them in half. I would then take 10mg in the AM and 5 mg at night. That keeps the seratonin running through your body all day.. as well with Paxil it is VERY important to take it at the same time everyday!! I learned that only by trial and error... and listening to my doctor.. (hang my head). Be sure to keep the dialogue with your doctor open..

Everyones dose is different and it sounds like you're having success with the medication. Give yourself some time.. and always remember ALL people have anxiety.. even normal ones.. so some anxiety is ok and not a red flag for something greater.

It's very hard to relearn / restructure the negative thoughts. Although I'm a million times better than I once was.. even I have trouble at times...and can get really frustrated.

You're doing great!!

We'll chat soon... I've been on messenger a couple of times. I actually chatted with Miki.. that was very cool... :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Therapist

Cornish-Dee..

Ha Ha.. My OCD wouldn't let me have it any other way.. I need to have control so I need ALL the information. Not always good when you have an anxiety disorder.

I have to give credit to my doctor though. She is amazing and is a bit of celebrity here in BC.. she's on the evening news.. involved in our University.. and on the cutting edge of a lot of NEW up and coming options in the world of medicine. She is also a huge follower of natural remedies so she isn't always just telling you to pop a pill but to treat the person not just the problem :) I'm VERY lucky.

As for the cost of therapy.. it is daunting.. Even here. My hubby and I do alright financially but he does not have extended health so all of our expenses are paid by us.. When you're raising kids I often come last.. lol.. so I put off treating me until it's absolutely necessary... Now it's necessary..as my last setback made me realise the meds do a lot to keep my OCD under control but that I do need to learn to live with it when they aren't working.. YIKES!! big fear there :)

I would suggest though you try your Universities.. they often have psychology students that do counselling under the supervision of Certified Psychologists.. and they can't prescribe medication so you're safe .. ha ha!! Really though these are students just on the cusp of graduating and looking for "hours" to complete their clinical experience.

Your kind words always make me feel good Cornish dee.. but I will tell you, I can give the advice but I don't always heed it.....It's much harder to do it myself even though I know I should.

Psychologists are great tools... so don't be nervous. AND they don't push medications.. it's all "mental" mind work / behavioural stuff.

Cheers!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

bothered by a little setback

Hi Mya

Just a bit of reassurance... if you haven't had any allergic reaction or dangerous side effects thus far you won't by upping your dose. You may experience changes in appetite etc. or maybe a bit more anxiety while balancing but anything deemed "dangerous" would have happened as soon as you started taking the paxil.

You are safe now and anything else would only be bothersome and things you could discuss with your doctor.

Talk to you soon!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

What happened????

Hi Jaci

Well, you've definately been through some tough things over the past year. My condolences to you over your loss. I have yet to experience anything like that so I can't even imagine what it would begin to feel like. The unfortunate thing about growing up is our parents to do too..*sigh*

I can very much relate to your story. I too went through a long period with no anxiety etc. and then *bam* it was back.. I believe for me personally it had a lot to do with weaning our second baby.. but one can never know for sure. I like you too, also seem to handle things while they are happening and don't seem to have an issue with my anxiety / ocd in real times of crisis.. but come peace and calm in my life and my body just goes "haywire" lol...

Since your already talking to your doctor, your on the right path already. I personally cannot be off my meds. I have tried before but my body just does not produce enough seratonin to keep my "level" so the synthetic will have to do. It was my last alternative though, so if you're opposed to going back on them for the time being maybe you could try conselling. I know you mentioned the financial aspect, but I posted previously about Universities offering programs for free for anxiety sufferers. I'm not sure where you live so I can't really direct you but here in BC we have quite a few. I also have OCD issues..and I have just found a free support group for people like me. I haven't yet gone as my meds are back to working and my life has just fallen back into place (thankfully) but that is another option for you.

You are your own worse critic though and the guilt is an unfortunate part of this anxiety cycle.. Give yourself a break you have dealt with some major things in this past year and it sounds like your body is telling you it's time to slow down...... and take some time for you. The fear can be overwhelming.. (as we all can share many stories) but you are not alone. There are so many people like us, it just isn't always talked about. We're here to listen and share Jaci...

This site has been a "godsend" for me as I had been panic free / ocd free for almost 7 years... and then I had my setback.. and I'm doing great now.. Thanks to all the great listeners here.

As for the program it seems to work for so many on this site.. I hate to admit it but as soon as I start feeling better I stop working on it... I'm famous for it as I just go back to my "normal" life. This time though I'm finding a therapist to teach me about my OCD instead of just quieting the "voice" .. lol...

Keep checking in Jaci.. as this too shall pass.

Life is full of ups and downs and twists.. yours is just twisting right now.. you'll be around the bend soon.. no pun intended.. ha!!

Take care :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Tips on Improving Organization

Hi everyone

I've tried to cut out caffeine as I know I should but I always end up going back.. I think the addiction started when I was working at Starbucks.. lol..

It's another perfect example of how when I feel great all my "old habits" come back... until the next time..

I do agree though that chamomile tea is very calming...and I do keep a stash on hand!

ttfn..

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

out for the day!!

Hey Minnesota..

Sounds like something very exciting to look forward to. You've made some major steps.. way to go girl!

It's great to read the positive stories too.

I hope you get out for that bike ride :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Extremely frustrated...

Hi everyone

Although this isn't a usual symptom of my anxiety I have had that AWFUL of not knowing how to swallow.. or thinking I'm forgetting how.. kind of hard to explain ..but the panic just sky rockets at that moment. In those times I have found sipping water / juice etc. always gets me back on track.

I have had problems in the past though of not being able to eat food that I was unsure if someone touched or tampered with.. a bit ridiculous but true... sometimes the thoughts just run off on their own... not sure how they start but in the midst an awful thing.

A lot of great advice here..

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