Birdie your comments touched on a lot of things that are true and you've done a lot to turn your life around. What an achievement!!
I am at a point that those items on the list don't bother me BUT I do remember at the beginning of my journey that reading those things would have just exacerbated my anxiety ! Maybe even have made me feel a bit hopeless.. Facts are great and you can do a lot with them but a lot of people are vulnerable to having their thoughts run away on them... making them catastrophic.. Do they really need to know they have a greater chance of suicide?? or losing their jobs?? They are already dealing with so much....
I agree with Michael they are just things I don't need to think about ...especially when I was at my lowest... I'm on the journey upwards so I've taken them with a grain of salt.. and as I stated before I don't have an issue with depression but if I did... I don't think these would have helped me.. LOL...
Anyways.. as always you are all very insightful and I take something away from every "conversation" I have with you
If you're talking about that time of the month.. (sorry boys).... It DEFINATELY affects me... and I actually feel as though my meds stop working... My hubby always says.. the minute I want to talk about our "marriage" or "reinventing the wheel". (god bless his patient soul)..he just knows that it's on the way and that I'm just about over the "top"..as my OCD tendencies definately start to show more
I've had had this problem the whole time I've been on meds... Whenever I get sick it's almost as though they stop working.. Don't panic.lol... it's short lived..
Apparently this is quite common as our bodies are so focused on fighting infection that everything kinda goes "haywire"... Be assured though that it will rebalance itself. This is a great time to put some of your "practices" into play ...sounds like you're doing quite well though. Way to go..
That time of the month is also another problem for myself.. and that's when a lot of women "top up their dose" to combat the hormones... Something you can talk to your doc about if this also affects you.
When I'm sick or at that dreaded time.. I really try to use my diet effectively.. Eating foods full of Omegas..B vitamins.. etc. oh and I try to up my excercise / outside time to try to up the endorphins Things that help us balance naturally... I figure it can't do anything but help when I'm feeling a bit "edgy"...
The meds are just a tool.. and there is always work to still do... but Mya your days are getting easier already... Look how much better the month has been..
First off, big hugs to you... Sounds like it's not so great right now and that's ok. I believe you already know that you're battling depression ~ unfortunately it seems to ride in waves.. somtimes the periods in between are shorter ..sometimes longer. You have had an eventful year and sometimes our bodies just need to "shut down" for a bit.. telling us that it's too much. You had so many successes (school and accomplishing set goals) this year but you've also been dealing with some major issues at home. That takes it toll... it's emotional and exhausting. Marriages are work! lol.. I definately know this. Our marriage is amazing but we have definately had our times... We've been together 19 years and some of those years were quite difficult. We were fortunate to have made it through..
I personally don't battle the depression (thankfully) but my anxiety and OCD seem to ride the same "waves" and it's so frustrating to have a setback. And that is all this is Diva... You've been down this road before and you have the tools to get out.. You're STRONG, SMART, and COURAGEOUS!! You may have to reach outside of yourself though, depression is not often a battle that can be fought alone. Sometimes we need a little guidance .. and the earlier the better. Otherwise things can spiral faster than anticipated... I find that with my setbacks...
Please keep us updated and your days will be better Diva.. It may be a bit of a climb but nothing you haven't succeeded at before. Unfortunately for us women - our hormones dictate so much of these swings.. and it's nothing to do with you and anything you've done. It's just crazy mother nature doing it's thing. Be patient with yourself and kind in your thoughts..
I "belonged" to the right group...did the right things (great grades, cheerleader captain etc.) yet always felt as though I didn't really fit quite right. I was from out of district and started fresh in grade 8 and always felt a bit of animosity from some of the girls.. the boys were great ...lol.. So that being said.. I worried all the time inside about pleasing everyone around me so that I wasn't singled out... Pathetic... There were a lot of great people that I didn't "hang" with out of fear of being tossed from my own crowd.. I didn't have the courage to be me.
Our daughter is entering the "tweens" almost 10 and she has so much confidence in who she is already. She knows what she wants out of her friends and has the ability to stand up to them and voice her opinion.. She often goes against the grain for what she believes and I love that... She does it so naturally that people just accept that about her. I hope this helps her to avoid the angst I felt.. A little bit is normal.. what I felt was terrible.
Birdie.. you always say such "lovely" things that make me smile...and you always refer to nature which I love as I relate to that a lot. When I felt my worst the outdoors played a huge part in feeling better... The things in life that are pure and simple.
Diva...
I just wanted to say that the terror part I completely understand. That is what I felt when my OCD / Panic came back this year after being gone for so VERY long... and like you I was in denial.. I plugged along ignoring all my signs in hopes that it would just go away.. lol.... wishful thinking.
I had to dig deep this time to motivate myself to take charge.. bite the bullet.. up my medication.. etc. All the things I had promised myself I would do during my recovery process but found that when it happened again I almost "froze" in a way.. forgetting all that I had learned.. and only focusing on my fear of it all.... With a bit of digging and a whole lot of support found here by reading others stories and advice I found it to get the hell out of that cycle.. lol.. I'm much better now but learned that this is something that will flow and ebb like the tide... depending on my age.. hormones.. babies etc. and I need to be prepared.
You're posts were always positive..they still are even during your "ick" time... and they brought me a lot of reassurance and peace when I felt anything but....
That all sounds great! Good on ya.... I personally love Yoga and don't go at all anymore.. My youngest one is 2 and there is just no time.. or so it seems. After reading your post though.. that will be my goal this week.. to find a class time that works and just get there.. Once the routine is changed.. it becomes just that.. a routine!
Darkblue.. as for the 30-10% you refer to. I personally believe these are people who never follow through on treatment..
I also think this percentage would represent people who drop out of the "counselling" world and cope on their own. It doesn't mean they don't get better but it means no one is "tracking" them... This at least ups the numbers in my mind :)
As for when it all started.. I was 19 .. maybe 20 when the first attack hit. It actually happened at an outdoor concert and I decided to experiment with a "love drug"...( yeah right - that wasn't the love I was looking for .. ha ha!)... My one and only time and I was in a giant panic attack for 3 days.. and had no idea what was happening.. terrifying really. Although this was my first attack.. if I look back on my life I've always been the typical type "A" personality.. a real worrier inside..and I had a lot of "quirks" that calmed them down.. mainly having things "neat"... obsessively.. later known as OCD behaviours.. lol.
I think you either have it or you don't and eventually life catches up to you and it just trips the wire... Many people experience even more stressors but will never have a panic attack.. Their bodies and minds are wired differently. I've come to accept that this is the way I roll.. and I just have to make adjustments at times. Truly though, I could have something far worse with much dire consequences. This may not always be easy but at least I'm waking up each day.. with the privilege of having another day here...and I'm always (well almost always ) willing to give it another go with a positive attitude...
With all that being said.. my greatest fear is that when I am feeling my worst.. that this is "it".. the be all end all of my life... and then I have to kick myself and say I am whatever I imagine myself to be... and if that's the picture I paint.. it will be my lifes canvass.. We have the ultimate say... Although we don't control all the circumstances..what we choose to do with them is completely in our control.. Whether its medication, therapy, diet.. whatever.. It all falls to us...
We can all be successful.. especially with eachother!! You have all been a huge support to me.. and I'm so grateful to you all.
I too have ventured around to other sites.. I don't experience depression so I was looking more for OCD / Panic Disorder sites and I have to say some of them were very depressing!! Although they had a lot of helpful information the forums themselves were very negative.. and for me and my obsessive thoughts I had to stop reading the posts.. It was just filling my head with more worries.. lol.. yikes!
I have to say that this is by are the BEST cyber environment I've found and you have all been AMAZING!! It feels so positive and helpful here and I'm so glad to have found you all..
I wish though I could find a more positive OCD site.. so if anyone has any ideas let me know.
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) willing to give it another go with a positive attitude... 
