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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Hi Dave

I get where you're coming from regarding making the call...

For me personally I know I need therapy for when I have "setbacks" but when I'm feeling good I just toss the whole idea out the window.. shelve it as though it was unnecessary BUT learn later like this last setback in January that if I'd had the therapy years ago it would have probably helped me immensely. ( I have a touch of OCD with the panic disorder and it's the OCD I've never treated)

That being said, I'm back on the upswing and although I did make a few inquiries into therapy for OCD this time, I never did make an appointment. I'm going to do it though.... I think.. lol... as I want to be better able to cope next time the tides change...

I feel good again and it makes the time I was feeling bad almost a fog.. like it wasn't really as bad as I thought... if that makes any sense..

Take care Dave!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Social Anxiety - Part III

Thanks for sharing your stories... It's intersting how we can all be so different in our diagnosis / disorders but share so many qualities... Such a broad spectrum with very blurry borders I would say...

I'm a very social person and do very well in situations that I'm in control of... or know that I do well at BUT take me out of that comfort zone and the anxiety inside kicks in ... A lot like you Birdie.

When I first got anxiety when I was in college I skipped out on every oral report..... and eventually I quit school because I didn't get what was happening to me... ick... I landed a great job and did amazing there... spent 14 years in the industry and excelled but as I said I was good at it so the anxiety was nil....

I have noticed though as I get older (I'm 35) I do tend to screen calls more often ... or want to stay home more..... I think this is good though as I used to not like "alone" time.. and always had to have something on the go so that I was busy and not anxious.... Now I like me and think I like my own company... so I think this is more positive than negative.. I have a very close group of friends as I've learned it's not the quantity of friends I have anymore but the quality... and ALL of them know about what I battle..and all my quirks.. and still love me.. That's all I need...

Miki... As for your hubby... It must be VERY tough living apart... I can't imagine my hubby being gone like that... so I think the anxiety you feel is perfectly normal... Even a person not suffering from anxiety would experience some of your feelings. Is there no way you can live together all the time? I'm not sure the reason behind this set-up so it may not actually be feasible.. Just thought I would ask... It just might do you well to try to find a way you can be together during the week too... Being alone can be hard no matter what and as a fairy newly married couple I think it's important to be together... So maybe a compromise.. like living half way in between where you both need to be... I don't know.. just don't like to hear your struggling with this.

He sounds like he's been pretty understanding thus far..

Miki.. YOU WILL be able to go out again.. YOU WILL be able to work again.. and contribute BUT you need to be well and right now that's what you're working on.. Don't begrudge yourself this right... and don't feel guilty. We married the men we love through sickness and in health... through good times and bad.... Give yourself the time to heal... and soon you'll be doing all the things you're missing... The pressure you're putting on yourself is too much.... You're getting there Miki.. and have been such a source of comfort to me... I appreciate you.. as I'm sure he does too.. He probably just wishes he could "fix" you as men feel they need to do...

Take care.. and sorry for the VERY long ramble.... I just got lost in my thoughts...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Situation

I think we are all a bunch of ramblers.. lol

I agree with Minnie.. I have a very close circle of QUALITY friends now that all know about me and my "quirk"... whereas before (and most of my life) I had an QUANTITY of "friends"...but lacked any quality... And CD.. I loved to drink when I was younger too.. It gave me the "boost" when I was feeling not social... It was a great coping tool for me... plus I was the life of the party.. or so I thought ;) I don't drink very often now.. but that's a whole other blog...

As for telling people.. I tell everyone.. I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I'm becoming... My life before was a facade of perfection.. Great job, great looking (ha ha... just thought I'd throw that in), great hubby, great marriage... and really inside I was a MESS... and hated myself for pretending to be something I wasn't... Perfect...

And Miki... you already know that you have to stop pressuring yourself.. but it's all part of the cycle.. Once you accept who you are and "forgive" yourself for what you're going through the pressure will begin to ease...

Most of the time I'm good at that but I have my moments of self doubt too..

To all of us... Cheers!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Social Anxiety - Part III

Miki

You deserve those words.... big hugs... and hey again.. the hill although steep to climp has a wonderful view from the top...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

medication or not?

Hi Cael

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a bit of a struggle right now.. I can completely understand what you're going through as well as your dilemma about medication.

It is a very personal decision and one only you (and your doctor) can best make together BUT I will share my feelings on the subject.

I think QUALITY of life FAR outweighs the need to be "medication free" just to say you are. To allow yourself to get past the stigma and do what is best for you needs to be your ultimate goal.. Not everyone can be drug free. I fought the medication for years and for me personally it was a mistake. It made the battle for me that much harder when I finally decided to take the meds. I had a lot of stuff to work through that I think would not have been so bad if I had just allowed myself to be "human" and accept the helping hand without allowing my own preconceived notions to hinder a healthy and much needed "intervention" for myself. The medication gave me the ability (and shut down the constant racing of my thoughts) to work through the anxiety with a calmer more rationale mind.

I have now been on paxil for 7 years almost. I've had to alter the dose a few times and have almost weaned on a couple of occasions but have come to accept that I may always need something to keep me balanced. If your body does not make seratonin or enough of it... that is just a fact. No amount of excercise, supplements, yoga, meditation or spirituality replaced that in my body... so for me synthetic is the only way I am "whole" so to speak. That being said... even medication isn't an easy way out... It doesn't cure anything - it just gives me enough balance to learn the tools and apply them when needed. I still have to work on myself... just not with a constant state of anxiety (and OCD tendencies for me). The medication gave me my life back... and I'm so glad I finally mustered the courage to swallow that first pill... and was it ever an ordeal!.. lol...

You need to do what is right for you Cael.. but remember you deserve the very BEST quality of life possible... We all do.

The climb upwards may be tough but the view from the top is amazing...

Take care Cael.. and thanks for sharing...This too shall pass

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Effects of Massage Therapy on Stress

Massage therapy is an amazing source of relaxation for me. Human touch is so healing and with the right practitioner the release of negative energy can be almost overwhelming at times.... I would recommend this to anyone who carries their anxiety like I do in your shoulders / neck / head! Combined with aromatherapy it can melt everything away... even if only for awhile...

I also use Peppermint Halo for all my tension headaches. I suffered from headaches / migraines for years and this has been a godsend... Takes away 95% of the pain.. and it smells delicious.. What could be better?!...

I used massage with our daughter too... after baths with lavender or other calming essential oils.. Did amazing things for her sleep. My little guy too now loves to be rubbed... and it makes for great quality time with them.. Touch nurtures the soul...

I could use a massage now after talking about it... I'm sure I must have a gift certificate still kicking around.. hopefully ;)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

flying/planes

I too "think" I have a fear of flying... BUT everytime I have had to fly after FREAKING about it inside for weeks.. once I'm on the plane it's fine.

I lucked out and we drove to Disneyland / San Diego last time so it wasn't a stress but we're thinking about flying next time. Gas is getting to expensive to be driving from Canada.. For me the statistics help a lot... I would put them on here but I know for some they might cause a bit of panic.. LOL.. they would have for me before... ha! But the chances of things happening in your everyday life are a lot higher than something ever happening when you're flying.... Enough said :)

I would like to travel with my kids once our youngest is a few years older .. so I know this is a challenge I'm definately going to have to do myself again. Places we don't even have an option to drive...eek! :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Touching base. I'm better!

Hi darkblue

It's great to hear you're doing so well.

It took a lot of courage to face this head on.. and you did it!

Keep us posted...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Anxiety and the bathroom

Ok.. this thread just made me laugh... and Miki.. .I hate when that happens...

After two kids you'd think I'd get over embarassing bathroom behaviour yet I still don't want people to know I do "that"..... ha ha!! My hubby and I have been together FOREVER and I still wait till he has left the house... unless I'm desperate..and if we're away... never in our hotel... haha!! Ridiculous I am...but hey...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Where does Social Anxiety come from?

Well I have never been shy ... always outgoing etc BUT could never do oral presentations unless I knew it perfectly..obsessively perfect... and I struggled a lot with my appearance.. Clothes and hair being just right... being thin enough... etc. And looking back I never had weight issues etc. except what I felt inside.. as though I would be judged for not being so called perfect. I would be almost physically sick about being perceived as not cool.. or good enough. I remember crying because my hair wouldn't tease quite right (so early 90's).... I think that had a lot to do with my OCD though too... my thoughts were obsessive...

I hated feeling like that... and to this day I still struggle with self esteem.... yet to the outside world.. they don't see anything wrong and can't understand it at all...

It's something I'm always working on especially now that I'm raising a girl.. in such a critical plastic world. I really don't want her to feel anything like I did...

Thanks for listening :)

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