It has been quite some time since I've posted and believe me it is time. I was doing so well with the program during June and early into July. I was very cognizant of my exposure practice and it was coming along fine. Then Summer hit. Most people would think that because it is summer and being a teacher it is all happy happy. Once my routine changed I found myself concentrating on anxious thoughts. I assured myself it was just a blip in the system however it has been a while now and I am still sometimes overwhelmed by them. Like yourself Dazed Mommy, I have been working the breathing and relaxation techniques, they really do help but sometimes the anxiety and fear really well up so much that I feel I want to run!!! Funnily enough I was doing so well when I was active in this group and daily working through the program. Perhaps I got a wee over confident and felt hey I've got this thing licked....man does it ever come back and bite hard just when you've let your guard down. The only real solace in all of this setback, relapse stuff is that it is never as bad as the first time! So onward and upward we hope ...thanks for letting me drone on!
Right after I posted today I felt a real sense of relief and yes even safety for lack of a better expression. What a great forum we have here where I feel I can say anything or better yet feel anything and have no judgement passed. It is so reassuring to have all of you available for support. My warmest regards!
Such wonderful thoughts expressed by everyone. I too wish for those things. I had a unique experience recently. I was on a very crowded subway in downtown Toronto. I was feeling anxious so the hemmed in feeling was making me moreso. A very irate lady got on the car and began to aggressively push her way through the crowds. In typical Toronto fashion people just tutted and turned away. Normally I would have too...however my anxiety of the moment prompted me to challenge this woman. I simply told her there was no need for all of this behaviour...her response was predicable...a flury of mild oaths and somehting about minding my own (blankety blank business). I was embarrassed but for some reason got into a back and forth with her. My final response was "I know what I'm going to do for you"...she sneered and asked me what that was going to be...I said "I'm going to pray for you"...her mouth dropped as did all the other passengers. The problem with this was that I am not particularly religious and only use church for legally being able to sit for an entire hour and do nothing! The woman said "I don't need the likes of you to pray for me"..."Too late" I quipped already "already done"! In my head I did ask for peace and less anger for this woman...Eventually the cars cleared out and many passengers gave me a smile and one elderly woman thanked me and said I made her feel better. Finally the woman with the anger got ready to get off ...she stared at me and as the doors opened she leaned in and said "I really needed someone to pray for me"..I smiled and she even forced one back....I guess my point is that even seemingly angry or mean people too have their 'things' and people like us who have anxiety are sometimes more sensitive to it and have an ability to empathize. One thing for sure a potentially rotten situation turned into a rather nice one for many people...As for me I felt wonderful the whole day through and maybe in someway the woman will pass it on! Maybe people who disregard others simply need a thought given to them? Sorry for rambling on so much but many of your words of acceptance et. al. reminded me of a lot of things...Thanks
I quit smoking in 1997. I had tried everything, the patch, hypnosis, nico-gum, the works...than one day I said to my partner; "thats it I quit smoking"...she laughed...I've never had one since...For me however the problem is coffee. I am slowly weening myself off of caffeinated coffee because I do enjoy sittng and reading or sitting at a nice coffee shop in the early morning. Recently I had 3 coffees before noon and the physical reaction of my body was tantamount to a full blown panic attack. The symptoms and raciness, the need to flee to nowhere etc. etc. For those attempting to quit smoking and believe my I know how hard it is so I'm not being glib about this...just keep trying, Although I felt that the continuous cycle of trying to quit and failing was absoutely useless and counter productive, in hind sight I think it was what enabled me to just quit. Telling yourself enough times that you are going to quit must imprint in some way on your pysche until the point where your subconscious actually believes it and you then possess the right attitude needed to have your desired outcome. In the words of Mark Twain: "Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times"....maybe it just takes the one-hundred and one times to get it....good luck and never quit quitting!
Welcome to the site. The most important thing to remember Charlie is that you are not losing your mind! Everyone of us who experience Panic Attacks felt like that at some time or other....Just believe that one thing and it will get betterm from here on in. I found that working through the program doesn't abruptly stop your panic attacks but rather changes your own attitude toward them. This in turn makes them less frightening and with a concerted effort they lessen in intensity and frequency. You are in the right place. Good luck and post often...I found it helps to liase with people who truly understand anxiety....
May I offer some unsolicited bit of advice. I am a high school teacher and I see bullying far too often and it sickens me. My advice, and I think you are on the right track by going to the school, is to make up your mind that this is going to stop. Do not just talk to the teacher but to the principal or head teacher or whoever it is. Get assurances that this will be dealt with and will be stopped ASAP! Many administrators do not want negative attention brought to the school and so if they feel at all that this could potentially happen they will indeed act. Do not be the agreeable parent and assume it will all be taken care of. After you get assurances document the conversation(s) with dates, names and places and events. Then follow up after a short amount of time passes. With no disrespect to administrators, there are some who attempt to placate and downplay events. Kids who are bullied can have problems later on in life....myself as an example! Back then it was just put down to school yard antics and kids will be kids....luckily I had 3 older brothers with Irsih temperment! Not everyone is so lucky though....Whatever, do not think for one moment that you are being an over 'busy' parent or making too much of it. We send our kids to school to be 'educated' and in doing so we are entrusting those in positions of power to ensure that this is done in a safe and positive manner...Sorry for railing on but I am very passionate about this type of nonsense! Please post and let me know how it goes! Good Luck!
I'm fine thanks just working it out as usual. I am rather shocked at the response of the helper. Anyhow it is completely unacceptable for this behaviour to take place in school. It sounds like they don't take this stuff seriously. Bruised fingers and being pushed off a log and all in one day hmmm! Sounds a bit too coincidental. You really need to impress upon the principal what you said in your previous post that your daughter is is dreading school and is afraid to attend. Again I wouldn't write any letter to the administrator but would see him / her in person. Remember the principal is accountable to you and not the other way around. Writing a letter does not have as much impact. My advice is to approach it collaboratively with the principal. Ask questions that are formed with "What can we do to ensure this does not happen anymore?" Or "There is a problem so what can we do about it" When people feel like they are being 'put' upon then they close down. So try and make it concillitory. Be clear in terms of what outcomes you wish to see. If you detect an ego on the part of the administrator then formulate the thing so it becomes his solution, even if they are in fact your solutions. Do not be placated until you are placated....Afterall it is public education! A few years ago my little guy was being threatened by an older kid and I remember the anxiety and stress that waiting one night caused me. I didn't sleep and went through all case scenarios during the wee hours of the morning! Catastrophic scenarios won out in all my attempts to be rational. The next day I happened upon the kids parents in the school yard as well as the vice-principal and we settled it right there. The boy said sorry and both ran off to play hockey! My guy forgot the incident immediately but I carried it for a very long time. The trials parenthood! Anyhow good luck and stay true to what it is you want! Let me know how it goes!
I have been there with the meds. I started taking them of Januray 07 until March of 08 and I was never really comfortable with them. Like you, the emotional part was hard. I felt that I was a weak person. I am 6 foot 1 inch 220 pounds and play competative hockey and Rugby. Gus like me are not supposed to be this way....or so I was always led to belileve. The thought that I needed pills to make me feel better was a bit heady and even humbling I may add. People told me to just snap out of it, instead I snapped at them, it was all becoming rather intolerable. But the meds eventually kicked in and did make me feel better and my life did return to "normal"...in fact it was during these med times that I began looking at my anxiety and depression and working towards living with it. I began reading and understanding more about my anxiety, I really got to know it. I began seeing a therapist who is wonderful and monitored my progress. In fact he recently wrote a book on anxiety and relaxation and since Sept 08 I have been practicing his techniques and found them absolutely life altering. I still get bouts of anxiety but am very confident about dealing with it. Where once I was ashamed and embarrassed about my anxiety and depression, now I have no problem about telling people. Funnily enough when I do tell people it is amazing how many people have some variation or is close to someone with similar syndromes. In fact this year alone I have had at least 8 of my students confide in me that they suffer from anxiety and or depression. Sorry for rambling but I think you should know that for me, the meds did give me a hand up when I needed it, and enabled me to search for long lasting mechanisms to comfortably live with anxiety...Good luck and one day at a time! Alll my best!
Sorry for the delay in responding! The book is Called "Make Room for Happines" by Dr. Steven Melemis, it can be bought through Amazon.com...I follow his techniques and honestly it has changed my life. The techniques are very simple and the writing is to the point. If you do get hold of this book Just try doing the exercise...now it is like second nature to me and I can be driving the car and having negative thoughts and just employ some of the exercises and my thoughts just gently fade. I started in September and I am 100 per cent more effective at taking charge of my emotions....good luck
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