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Posts created by Maggie

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

what a trigger

I think I found a trigger. I had a panic attack last night, I could just feel it coming on and then boom! I told my husband what was happening and his response was "we've been through this before, you know it's nothing". I felt so deflated, it was incredible. I tried to explain to him how it feels and tried to relate it to something that pertained to him, I think maybe he understood. But I really wasn't in the mood to explain things to him, I just needed a sounding board. So he got up this morning early, headed off to work at 6:00 a.m. and didn't bother asking me how I felt, it was just about him. I had to get the 3 boys up (fortunately they are very good in the mornings), and get our dog walked, get kids to the bus and then come home to get myself ready for 9:00 (I volunteer 3 hours on Tuesdays). I don't think he'll every get this...

I was getting the kids ready for school for today, packing their backpacks with them, etc. and then it just hit me. They are leaving me today ( I know it's only school, and it sounds silly, ususally parents are thrilled to get their kids off to school), but this time it hit me. I'm starting a computer class on Thursday and maybe the "newness" to that is also the cause.

But right now, I feel exhausted after going through the panic attack. Has anyone felt that before? I need to start up this program again, things were going so well, but I think because the boys were home with me during the summer and it was ok, now they're back to school (and I'm sure I'll appreciate this at some time), but now it's just weird.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

what a trigger

...thanks...

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

new to the group

Hi, I'm new to this site, but familiar with the Panic Center. I was told that I was probably depressed before the panic attacks started, so it was suggested I look into this if I wanted. My counsellor said I am dealing with some abandonment issues. My Dad had died 25 years ago and I was 18 years old. Two other close people died within 1 month of my Dad passing away. A lot to deal with when you're 18, I'm finding. So I'm hoping I can do this program and try to be happy again and excited about my life and my family.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

heartbroken

you know, I'm just going through dealing with this depression and my husband doesn't get it, "just don't think like that" he says. I get where he's coming from, meaning he has his own issues with security, but this doesn't make it easier for me, because you're suppose to share things with your husband, he tries, but he doesn't get it. My Mom says you'll have to find that support from people you trust or a person you trust fully and this may not be your husband. I found that I spoke to a couple of my friends and you hear their response and you'll know whether they get it or not and you don't necessarily have to go into detail with your situation...I've got a great therapist and am taking mild antidepressants, very low dose, everyday is a new day...dont' get frustrated, use this as a sounding board, I find it very helpful. You can do this, we all can.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

characteristics of depressives

very interesting...I read people with depression are very sensitive people who pick up on when others are down, we don't miss the little things other may, we're very perceptive and caring, maybe over caring jepordizing our feelings for others. We're pretty good people, but I guess we have to learn to do all this in perspective and keep healthy while doing it. I grew up in a house where everything was perfect, my parents had very professional jobs, our house was immaculate, we had a cleaning lady, we would go on vacations all the time...now, my life is not able to be like that, namely we don't have the money, but boy do I feel I need to continue that way of life. After 40 years, I've just now learnt that, my house isn't perfect, my house isn't always clean, I scramble to make lunches for the kids for school, when I'm short on supplies (trust me, they get fed very well, but it's my interpretation of "very well"), but my kids are healthy and happy, and I'm good with that. But going through to get to this, I've jepordized my health and friends, things are getting back to the way I would like them "my normal", it takes time. Boy, do I ramble, we are good people, being sensitive is a good thing. Here's to us!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

Are you afraid of experiencing a setback?

Yes, I'm worried about setbacks, I can certainly talk like I'm going to do this and deal with these feelings, but when physical symptoms start playing with me, I drop. It's like things are going well, I start thinking about how well things are going and then uh oh, when's the ball going to drop. I get that too. It's amazing how much control this disease can have over us...keep smiling.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

heartbroken

wildcat, I believe in your quote, talking about what's on your mind helps relieve some stress with it, you're not the only one dealing with it now and we can help share that load, sort of speak. Talking about the joys in your life, you want everyone to know and their feedback just makes you feel so good about yourself, which is really important for us, I love to get that, I think everyone craves that. What a great quote!!! I know my husband has issues with his family, but what I learned today is that they are not my issues to deal with, they are his and his familys' problems. I think people like us tend to try and fix everything, and like me, I try and do the same thing. But the way he deals with things and how his family thinks he the best thing since sliced bread, and he can do no wrong, well, I see something different. But all that is his issue, I'm not going to own that anymore, yes I have to deal with him, but I'm not taking ownership of why he chooses not to do things with his family...not my fault. It's all very interesting how it all connects.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

Are you afraid of experiencing a setback?

In my situation, I have to stop "mindreading" some of the people and think that they are not talking to me because actually, maybe they didn't see me or they are busy, not because they didn't want to. And catastrophizing is a big one, only seeing black and white...it's hard work, but I know I don't want to be like this anymore. I do a lot of writing and positive self-talk.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

i need motivation

You know, I've had a gym membership for the past year and I stopped going in the summer because of kids being home for the summer and leaving them for a couple of hours, I didn't feel right, anyhow...what is it now, October, and I still haven't gone back, I don't know, I guess I prefer to walk outside but I have to get there. I know that when I do walk, I feel better emotionally and physically, and I guess this is what we have to focus on...easier said than done, but it the right thing to do.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

I Will Not Go Down

Lady, You know, I've been doing the up and down thing, lately, it's been up and coasting and the longer I've been up or rather even level, I've been feeling really good about myself and more self-confident. But, I do have one or 2 people who can shut me down so fast and put me into a tizzy, it's incredible. The power this person has over me, but then I learned, I allow her to do this to myself. Now, I really have to focus and self talk myself out of this kind of situation. "I am important and I am a good person and how this person makes me feel is wrong". The more times I say it, I start to believe it. I feel bad for you, I can hear your frustration in your post. Don't allow this person or persons to do this to you, you are much better without that person in your life. Don't be so hard on yourself, a day under the blanket is an ok day, don't be sad. One day at a time. Good luck.

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