Where is everyone?

I just wanted to say hello, I'm here... I've only just found this site and I have to say I wish it had been around two years ago when I started dealing with this stuff! I had to do it all by myself... I've come a long way since then and I'm hoping that this site will help to take me further on the road to recovery.

Hello?

I'm not sure how many people are actually reading this forum... but I wanted to introduce myself, and to say that yes you CAN recover from panic attacks, or at least learn to live with them... I've had an anxiety disorder since I was two years old, but it wasn't recognised for 30 years. I have no idea what people thought of my multiple phobias, but my mother has said that she thought they were 'normal' and I'd grow out of them... she never realised how bad they were for me, because I did my best to hide them from her. I hid my panic/anxiety from everyone... I was ashamed of it. But in the end I was pushed into a corner where I had a nervous breakdown and after that there was no going back. I have social phobia and an anxiety disorder and a personality disorder, and for almost a year I was agoraphobic... people said that I wasn't 'really' agoraphobic because I wasn't totally housebound, but when you're afraid to ride in cars or busses or trains or to leave the house or to be left alone I don't know what else you'd call it... the only place I went for six months was to my psychiatrist for my regular appointments, and I panicked all the way there and back. I also panicked every night when I tried to sleep, but I didn't realise they were panic attacks. It didn't help that my fiance kept trying to comfort me and he was desperately worried that there was something really wrong with me physically. The turning point came the night that I got so desperately afraid that I was going to die that I went to the hospital. They were absolutely no help to me whatsoever, but in my mind that ruled out physical causes for my problems. After I accepted that I was having panic attacks I was able to come to terms with it, and the change in attitude helped me to minimise the effects. Also, I read up on agoraphobia and discovered that I had to do something or else I really would end up housebound. So I trained myself to say that it was 'just' a panic attack and to ignore them as best I could, and I made myself go out of my comfort zone so that I could gradually extend it. It wasn't fast and it wasn't easy or comfortable, but twelve months later, I'm okay in cars, and okay in many places where I used to panic, and I know that even if I do panic it's no big deal. I am NOT going to

Hello All

Hi Murrough, I have social phobia and one of my very worst fear-inducing situations is a job interview-type thing... I was so scared of having to look for a job that I wouldn't register for unemployment because they were going to make me do it. My psychiatrist persuaded me otherwise - he told me that I could get medical exemptions, and I really needed the money, so I managed to do the signing up. Anyway, I do not have a job, I am not looking for a job, and I do not intend to look for a job because I know I just can't cope with the stress of it. Since I got the money coming in and had that stress removed I've been doing MUCH better because it's one less thing I've got to worry about. I've been assured that I'll keep on getting paid as long as my psychiatrist will keep on signing the forms for me (we had a long talk about it because I was terrified that Centrelink's patience would run out, or they'd decide that if I was well enough to leave the house to go to the office then I was well enough to look for a job). If you can get money without stressing yourself too greatly, then do it. Your condition probably won't be permanent - if you're working on trying to get better then the odds are that you will. In the meantime, if there's something you can do that will make things easier for you then I'd go for it! Good luck! :)

Perimenopause and Panic Disorder

I knew somebody who started experiencing really bad panic attacks after 12 or so years of remission. She was housebound for a year because she was too afraid to go anywhere, and nothing the docs suggested for her seemed to help... but then she went to a new doctor, and they did a bunch of hormone tests on her and found that her hormones were thoroughly screwed up due to perimenopause. I'm not sure what they did for her, but they were able to help her a LOT. She even started driving again, and going places by herself :) Get your hormones thoroughly checked out... they have a massive effect on our moods.

Hello?

Hi Beth, No, I don't mind. Like I said, I've had an anxiety disorder for my whole life. But for the longest time I thought that it was just me being 'weak' and that if I tried hard enough it would go away and I'd be able to do all the things that everyone else does without thinking, but which totally panicked me and stressed me beyond belief... and I was too afraid of being labelled a 'crackpot', or being thought to be overly weird to breathe a whisper of it to anyone else. To take just one example, when I was 16 I had to go and do work experience at a kindergarten. I was terrified of it but covering it up, until I got dropped off at the door and discovered that there was no-one there! I burst into tears on the spot because I thought I was in the wrong place or had done something wrong, and I didn't know what to do next. Somebody came past about 20 minutes later and noticed me sitting there bawling my eyes out, and they told me that it wasn't an official schoolday and the teachers aide lived across the street so I could go there to talk to her. anyway, after that setback I had a marvellous two weeks, but my evaluation said I was 'immature and lacking initiative' and rated me much lower than it would have if I hadn't been such an idiot on the first day... Now I know that my upset was symptomatic of my stupid disorder and not my fault, but at the time I blamed myself entirely, and took it as a signal that I needed to try harder and to be stricter with myself and to keep a tighter lid on my emotions. I'm not easy to put in a little pigeonhole - the one I fit best is 'general neurotic' alas... lol Seriously, I have a strong tendency to hereditary depression, and the anxiety thing, and borderline personality disorder only not very badly (my pdoc says it's 'traits', not fullblown) and it all ties together into the complicated little mess that's the inside of my head.

Can Panic Lead To Seizure Like Symptoms??

Hi Beetle, Panic can't CAUSE a seizure - but I can certainly see how it would be the other way around. Having a seizure disorder must be a very scary thing, because you have no certainty about when/where they're going to happen, and you have no control over your body during the event while maintaining full recollection which must make it even MORE scary for you. I'd be astounded if your anxiety disorder wasn't exacerbated by the seizures... you need to get treatment for BOTH conditions if you want to get a handle on them. You may find too, that getting the seizures properly diagnosed and treated will help to ease your anxiety, because it will 'take a load off' to know exactly what's been going on and why (and hopefully that with the proper medication it won't happen again!)... Many people who develop a serious illness of any sort develop anxiety/depression related to it... and if you already suffer from anxiety then of course it's going to make it temporarily worse. Don't worry - you're not going nutso, and you're not having a breakdown or anything else bad that you might think. You have a medical condition that needs treatment. Good luck!

Fear of Driving

Congratulations! Feel proud of yourself for managing those drives... they will get easier with time. I was really really REALLY anxious about being a passenger in cars, and after I started going places it gradually got easier. I hardly ever get anxious in cars now unless there's a lot of traffic or very bad weather or something else that triggers me off...

travel anxiety

Breathless, Scary as it is, the only way to make an 'unsafe' place into a 'safe' place is to go there. Positive visualisations and relaxation techniques can help and are a good first step, but if you never actually go there in the flesh you're still restricted. But you don't have to go there every day... that would just overload you. You have to pace yourself at a rate that you can handle. It's like if you decide to run a marathon - you don't suddenly get out of bed and go and run 50 miles on the first day. If you did you'd probably kill yourself! You start a training regime and gradually work up to it, and you have to give yourself rest days in the middle. I am on benefits and I have to deal with the social security department frequently (Ugh) and it's one of the things that really scared me witless. I had to work up to it gradually. The first time I tried to persuade myself to go and apply I had a screaming panic attack just thinking about the WORD 'Centrelink'... so I abandoned proceedings, but the idea of doing it sat in my mind and simmered. I thought about going there lots of times and each time it scared me a little less... I pictured myself doing it and being calm and having an easy time and walking out HAPPY... and then eventually I picked up the phone and called them, and even though I was too scared to talk to them myself (I had to get my mother to do it for me) I was able to make the call. And then I went to the building with my mother and it wasn't as bad as I'd feared... six months later I'm able to go there by myself and my greatest feeling is annoyance at having to stand in their queues! It's become part of my routine, and not such a terrifying prospect. But if I'd never made the first move, I'd still be cowering in my bedroom without any income. This wasn't a fast proceeding - it probably took twelve months in total, because the first time I tried to do it I couldn't get further than the initial thought and then I had to leave it alone for three months.

travel anxiety

Oh, and in answer to Evelyn, I'd suggest that one of the things that might help you is to make yourself comfortable in your mode of transport to get to these unfamiliar places. If your car is a 'safe place' or riding on a train is a 'safe place' then you'll have a lot less stress during the journey and arrive with a lower level of anxiety as your starting point. Maybe you could find a comfort object to take with you to remind you that you're safe, as a substitute for the familiar person? Or you could use the distraction technique to help to keep yourself from building anxiety enroute - I travel a lot better by myself if I'm engrossed in a good book or writing a letter or listening to music/a story than I do if I'm just sitting there feeling trapped. The fear of anxiety returning is NOT the same thing as the fear of the object or place... you're not going to fail. You've done it once and that's GREAT... now remember to tell yourself that whatever you do once you can do again :)

Flight or Fight !

I'm the opposite... if I'm sick or unwell it focuses my attention more on my body's processes and I start to have anxiety over what's going on and what might be going wrong with me and all the various terrible diseases I might possibly have... unless I'm so sick that I'm flat out in bed sleeping all day, in which case I'm too exhausted and miserable to worry about a little thing like possible death! lol Seriously, if you have recognisable symptoms that you can pin a cause to (I've got a cold, I've got hayfever, I've got a migraine etc) then you KNOW what's causing them and you don't have to worry about it... it cuts out a major cause of anxiety, which is hyperawareness of your own bodily sensations. You don't have to think 'am I dizzy because I'm hyperventilating and starting a panic attack?' (which odds on will start one) you know that you're dizzy because you have a 102 fever! The known is never so terrible as the unknown...