Brand new, excited and so relieved
Welcome reddragon! I tried AA and it wasn't for me. I too was happy to find this site. It's still early days for me--I'm just over two weeks sober--but so far so good. One of the things that really helps is the accountability of posting here regularly. When I have urges, and I do, I know that I really don't want to slip and have to confess it to you guys. That said, I also know that if I do slip, as I have in the past, there will be no judgment, and I will remain welcome. I don't know why that combination works, but it does. And I really, really hope and pray I don't slip.
For years, my problem drinking consisted of daily wine consumption--always in the evening. Then I quit for almost a year. It felt great, but I missed the buzz. I thought I might be handle an occasional glass or two, especially on social occasions, and for a while it worked, but then it accelerated to where I was drinking far more than even before. I quit again, and resumed with a completely new drinking pattern: days, even weeks, of abstinence and then a binge. I'd tell myself, "I'll stop after two." But I couldn't stop. And then I was back on the roller coaster.
I found myself thinking that yesterday after a run-in with my ex--one of my triggers. "I'll stop after two." I waited, and the urge passed. I've recognized that the urges usually come in the evening, and if I can get through those few hours, I'll be okay. It's helped that my daughter has been home on break for school. Last night, we made a bowl of popcorn and watched a movie together. She leaves on Monday, and I'll be alone again. That will be a real test for me.
Keep posting! We're here for you!
