Hi, I guess I need to reach out. As hard as this is I do need support. My brain is mush, concentration is low and sadness crushes me.

History... my partner and I have been together now for 5 years, A few months ago I took a new job in a different province and since covid happened I have not been able to go home. During this time, he was unable to work, his drinking has increased (maybe even an alcoholic), his calls to me lessened, I have caught him in numerous lies and now he has admitted to me that he is seeing another woman.

He talks to me so intensively and it seems to flow so natural, like he is excited about his new adventure. I can't believe that all of this has happened so quickly. I thought we had a great relationship and he was my best friend. Up to last week he still texted me every so often that he loved me. I have been supporting our little home throughout all of this with sending money home, paying for all bills and mean while he is out dating another woman.

The isolation I feel and felt being in a new community and during covid was so difficult! Being a professional, I did not want anyone to know how I was suffering, just stuck to work and self isolated like everyone else on the planet. Now I find myself unable to concentrate and complete the simplest of tasks. I have shared small details with a few people now at work as I look like crap and I feel I have to say something to excuse the bags under my eyes; however not near to the full depth of my internal grief and struggles that I have experienced over the last 4 months.

I am angry and hurt but most of all just lost. My family is grown and for the first time in my life I find myself alone, absolutely alone. So many feelings I don't even know how to list them. I can't blame covid for this, I think that this would have eventually taken place anyways. I just maybe didn't want to see the the red flags all along and covid just hurried things along.

I feel ashamed of my situation and don't know what to do. I know the stress is wearing on me, sleepless nights, withdrawing from long distance long term friends and family hiding from the embarrassment and feelings of complete and utter disbelief that this man who loved me betrayed me like this.

My life in a few months has changed so drastically, so quickly. I am numb... how do I cope with all of this without having a complete meltdown in a province where I a stranger....

Your thoughts would be so valuable right now...

Thank you.