Hi. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am currently struggling with how to end my relationship. We've been living together a few months, I thought we would connect more and I wanted to make him happy. He's not necessarily a bad guy, but I just don't think we're compatible. I don't love him the way either of us deserves. I care for him and feel a need to take care of him for whatever reason, but I'm so unhappy continuing on. I've been feeling so much guilt having these thoughts of ending the relationship. It's manifesting itself physically in the form of nausea, chest pain, heart burn, the feeling of choking, shivers, loss of appetite and other physical responses. Anytime he asks "what's wrong" or "are you ok" I just freeze up. I'm afraid I'll get to the point where I'll break down and not handle the situation or deliver the message the best way. I don't want to end up homeless or stuck in an awful living situation. I'm constantly worrying about how to do it and fear the worst. I know a great deal of this comes from a past relationship where there was abuse. I felt powerless. Despite any awareness I have of all these things, I cannot seem to overcome the physical response and panic when faced with carrying out the action. The rest of the time, I feel like I'm in a void. Nothing that used to make me happy interests me anymore. I just constantly feel sad.
Any support, tools or advice is appreciated.