Pete, I wish I hadn't changed my "goals" on this site yesterday or the day before, can't remember when I did it. I wish you could have seen one. It said "accurately assess my current level of depression." I don't think I could either. I think I would assess things according to what I wanted it to say. So yes, there is sense to that or at least we have another thing in common. I don't do the mood tracker either now.
The goals, well, mine were outdated. I had to change them from a year ago. I've got goals and so do you via this exchange I know what some are, I've got other goals too. I think they are what keep us going even if not on paper.
I also found that some of the exercises or information was not something which could help me. Later, I found I could. Some I never did. I guess what I am saying is use what you can/will - Read through the sessions, it opens up tools and if you can use them do, if not don't. I think reading about CBT (if you haven't) is very interesting. And if you have as I had, seeing it in this format, in this media is eyeopening, instead of reading about theory.
Having worked in the field I had a basic understanding of this type of theory and wanted it in my treatment. The closest certified therapist was 1.5 hours away. It wasn't very practical nor feasible. This is the next best thing. I heard we have a certified CBT therapist 30 minutes away but I am established with my therapist and don't want to change. I talked to the pdoc about it and he recommended that I not change - that I stay where I am and continue to use this program. He strongly endorses it. And even with setbacks he can see a difference in how I handle them - recognize them more quickly and seek assistance, as well.
Cognitively I am more aware about issues with my depression, the emotions behind the crying, the issues with self-worth, role transition issues relating the recent death of my father, etc. At first, I as usually wanted to rush through it and get the answers NOW. Then I went back and tried to overanalyze....lol, now I think I've found balance. But just like your time for your self is important to you, this has become very important to me. lol, it's like I have company without having to deal with the fact they are here. I am not alone in more ways than one. I guess that is why I come here alot and I post alot.
I was curious about the emotions in the family, I did grow up in an emotionally naked family or at least one that never expressed any emotions. I knew my family loved me but it wasn't verbal expression. We didn't cry - it was a sign of weakness (my mom so stoic with her emotions) but laughter and fun not being one that hid. She was so funny. The other emotions like anger and frustration ( could make lists and lists) just weren't exhibited. I am trying to learn what I feel about issues and put emotions with thoughts and feel them as they occur instead of trying to sort them all out later. It is pain-staking (pun) work. My brother is stoic as well. My dad was rather stoic until mom died and then the emotions of mourning, he could not hide until his death. I've become the feeling one in the family and lol, they don't know what the heck to do with me (like they think they need to do something - surely, there's something wrong if she shows any emotion but happy). I think I raised my son a bit different, though my parents were involved in raising him as I was a young single mother. He is an attorney and that stoic face he uses in the courtroom. But outside work, he shows his love and frustration and anger, etc. How
