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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

To be honest, and trying not to be negative here, I don't know how this will help me.

I mentioned to my therapist that for several years I was a practising Buddhist, and that was probably the time of my life when I was nearest to happy (though, looking back, I believe that 'anaesthetised' is a more accurate description of my mental state at that time). So I think she's trying to use Buddhist and related material to help me, and find a way into me. Trouble is, I'm just not the person I was then (ten, fifteen years ago) and despite my obsession at the time with Buddhist philosophy and devotion, I was entirely missing the point of spiritual practice. The only benefit I had from meditation was an opening up of my creative doors - I have not written poetry in such quantities or of such quality before or since. But that wasn't the point of spiritual practice at all - that was bolstering my ego, not transcending it. Using the mechanisms of a sacred tradition for my own selfish ends. I even took tantric initiations and the Bodhisattva vow, but I was never really there. I was a hypocrite collecting baubles.

So I abandoned my sad simulacrum of spiritual practice, and my self-image as a seeker for enlightenment, a 'Buddhist' and therefore somehow 'cool'.

I'm reluctant to take it up again, and Thich Nhat Hanh's five trainings are pure Buddhism in their all-encompassing scope and their conviction that an individual can change themself and then change the world. I find that view now rather too utopian for my taste. And I just can't/won't meditate any more. Not now. I need noise in my brain to drown myself out, not silence and clear light to illumine the beasts that live within.

I'm afraid my therapist has stirred up something more than she hoped to. I shall speak to her along these lines next time I see her, and she'll be even more convinced than ever of what a pompous, verbose and awakward old windbag I am!

Goofy, I see what you're saying - take out the fancy-schmancy language and downsize these precepts to sensible guidelines for living life. Hmmm....that's possible, but then they become annoying, impotent, self-help slogans.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi Pete,

It sounds like you are doing your research and exploring different avenues to help you through this journey. It is important to take what you can from each source of information and apply it to your life and lifestyle. Each individual is unique and our experiences are all very different. As goofy said, there are many ways to meditate and again is it up to you to try several techniques and find the one that is best for you. Keep posting here and updating us on your progress. We are always here for you through this journey.

How will you use this type of knowledge to help you?

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Oh, and meditation - there are as many ways to meditate as there are books and opinions on it. I find it very helpful but had to experiment to find what worked for me. There is no right and wrong way to do it. For me, it's just taking some time for me in a special way, with peace, quiet, contemplation. things that represent those I love around me, soft music playing and it doesn't last long enough for me to fall asleep. Experiment and try different things.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Pete,

I've not read that particular book, however, I've read similar books. The Four Agreements which is based on toltec religion. It has some good insight. My opinion on self-help books is not favorable, so I am giving you a biased view point. I find them to be a good read - take what you can use in a practical life- leave the rest. so maybe just taking the first part of each 1. I vow to cultivate compassion (try to be more compassionate, understanding, empathetic) 2. Try to treat everyone with love (if they are someone you love) or kindness to others around us. 3. Live by your own standards of sexual conduct and what's in your comfort level. 4. learn to listen more/talk less. 5. Try to eat right, exercise daily and take care of the physical you.

Hmmmm, sounds to me like I already try to do those things and heard you say similar things too - pretty common sense stuff, huh? Are you doing those things? Maybe anger management is an issue you need to work on (I don't know, making this one up). So if so, being more aware of these things can help YOU with that objective. Ask your therapist what she expects you to get from this. What goal on your treatment plan corresponds with this.

I do agree, don't try to apply it globally, however, I do believe by doing those things eventually is effecting those around us and it spreads out globally.

Hope this helps and/or makes sense.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

My therapist has recommended me to look at Thich Nhat Hanh's five mindfulness trainings, based on Buddhist precepts.

Anyone got any experience working with these?

I haven't bought a book yet, but have looked at them on the web, and it seems like a prescription for saintliness, that I could never live up to.

Here's a quick digest of what they entail:

(1) Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants and minerals.

(2) Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I vow to cultivate loving kindness and learn ways to work for the well being of people, animals, plants and minerals.

(3) Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I vow to cultivate responsibility and learn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families and society.

(4) Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I vow to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering.

(5) Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking and consuming.

I mean, maybe if I were His Holiness the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa... but I can barely drag myself out of bed most mornings, let alone work tirelessly to relieve the suffering of the universe and everything in it!

I don't have another appointment with my therapist for two weeks, so I don't know where she's coming from with all this. I just don't see how failing to live up these standards will help me to love myself more, and combat my feelings of futility.

I have practiced meditation extensively in the past, but either it made me more agitated as I dug deep in my mind, or put me to sleep!

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