I see trouble in the next week 4 me

Thanks to all of you for your kind and encouraging words. Setting here at work, at my desk crying like a school girl everytime I think about it...well it just makes me wonder how bad it will be at the airport. I never knew the strength of the bond I have with my boys until now. I guess now I know how hard it must of been for my dad when he changed the locks on all the doors to the house on my eighteenth birthday, leaving me on the streets. I know now that I'm older that I left him no choice, and it was the best thing for me at the time. But wow, how hard that must have been on him. I could never do that. I will try and focus on the positive, that he is doing the right thing for himself, that he is trying to make his own way, thats all I can do for now. I know it will be an emotional day when he leaves, but I also know it will be an emotional day full of pride when he graduates, and I will make the drive north of Chicago to see it, come he%^ or high water, nothing will stop me. Thanks again everyone, I'll keep you posted as to how things are going. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 67 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,234 Amount Saved: $643.20 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 18 Mins: 24 Seconds: 10

help! stress is the triger

Doodles, I can kind of see where your coming from. I'm a single dad, and next Thursday I'm sending my 18 year old off to Navy bootcamp, I also have a 15 year old at home. I have a thread in another area on this. After an hour of intense thought on the matter, no amount of smoking is going to help me, it will only hurt. If I give in now, next Thursday when I am at the airport spending my last minutes with my son, I will have to keep running outside somewhere to have a smoke, and that will only take away time from being with him before he leaves. Smoking only will make things worse. If stress is a trigger, then figure out how to drain that stress from yourself via deep breathing, hot bath, whatever works. Just hang in there, the junkie in our head will always try and come up with an excuse for us to have just one...Be Strong. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 67 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,234 Amount Saved: $643.20 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 18 Mins: 24 Seconds: 10

I see trouble in the next week 4 me

Well said lamplighter, I'm not sure what I'm worried about, I have been there myself, I served in the Navy during the first Gulf War. Its not like the Taliban has a Navy. I guess you just never stop being a parent, I thought maybe it would all be over once they grew up and left, how foolish of me. I'm starting to feel a little better now, at least I can discuss it without getting all teary eyed now, I think I'm making progress!! Thanks everyone. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 67 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,246 Amount Saved: $643.20 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 19 Mins: 12 Seconds: 52

I see trouble in the next week 4 me

Thank you Anna, and I will give him your thank you, it may be just what he needs to hear right now, I know he is scared. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 67 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,246 Amount Saved: $643.20 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 19 Mins: 12 Seconds: 52

Positive Thinking

This subject has been a thorn in my side for most of my adult life. I do believe there is something to positive thinking. I believe it generates karma,magnetism, and success in people. It is so easy for me to see this because I am at the other end of the spectrum. If you look up negativity in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of my dad and I beside the word. I feel behaviors are learned from an early age. I grew up in an extremely negative environment. Nothing I did was ever good enough even though I excelled at everything I did. The result of growing up in this environment is a self defeating, self destructive person....namely me. I have been told hundreds of times that I give off an extremely negative vibe. Being a poker player I tend to see a lot of people get extrememly lucky, my good friend and mentor who has been playing poker for 25 years told me he has never seen anyone with worse luck than me. He calls it my "black cloud", and he says it follows me everywhere I go. If I go over and tell him I'm going home after a 12 hour session of poker, and he is winning, after I have gone and spoken to him, he will start losing. So is bad luck, or negativity contagious?? Can it spread?? He thinks it can. I think it can too, just as someone being positive can spread, like laughter. If someone starts laughing what do you do? You laugh with them, and it feels good. If someone is down, and sad, those emotions rub off on you, and you begin to feel down and sad. Bottom line is I have been fighting this my whole life, it is in my nature to be negative, I know no other way. Being positive feels awkward to me. But I didn't want to pass this on to my boys, like I feel my dad did to me, so I fight it. I think some of it has passed onto my kids, and I don't like that at all, but I did my best to break the chains, and thats all anyone can do is there best. So will I end up being a more positive person now? I doubt it, my newest destructive thoughts are piercings and a tattoo from my shoulder to my elbow depicting all the suffering I have endured in my life. Maybe I should be talking about a midlife crisis instead..?? LOL I do still have a sense of humor. Just my two cents....

I see trouble in the next week 4 me

Yes doodles, I thought it was very odd myself. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I think I'm going to be ok. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 68 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,276 Amount Saved: $652.80 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 21 Mins: 27 Seconds: 5

Coincidence? Sick all the time since my quit..Aynone else have this happen

I got real the worst summer cold I think I've ever had after my quit. But thats all. I would have to side with alohakeia on this one, sounds like that junkie might be weaving a tangled web for you. Be careful. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 68 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,276 Amount Saved: $652.80 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 21 Mins: 27 Seconds: 5

talk about a bad time to quit...

There are all kinds of ways to deal with the stress bold, I walk mine off. Find something that works for you, I can't tell you how many times I fell off the wagon and got run over by it because I "had too much stuff going on". I have finally realized being a single dad, there is always going to be something going on, creating stress in my life. So we need to learn to deal with it and quit making excuses to have a smoke...it's not an option. Good luck bold. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 68 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,288 Amount Saved: $652.80 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 22 Mins: 16 Seconds: 7

I see trouble in the next week 4 me

Thank you Dutch, those are very kind and wise words. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 68 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,288 Amount Saved: $652.80 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 22 Mins: 16 Seconds: 7

What are the price of ciggs in your area?

Here in central Ohio a 20 pack of Marlboro is around $4.10 .. I'm floored by the Canadian prices...WOW. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 68 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,288 Amount Saved: $652.80 Life Gained: Days: 9 Hrs: 22 Mins: 16 Seconds: 7