Happy, I bumped a thread for you called, "This is why you think about smoking", it should be right on this page. Hope it helps some. I too think about it all the time. But I'm no where near as far as you are into my race for freedom.
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 74
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,586
Amount Saved: $710.40
Life Gained:
Days: 10 Hrs: 19 Mins: 55 Seconds: 22
I want to thank everyone for all of thier support and kind words. You all have been instrumental in my success up to this point. I find myself today fighting hard to stay free, my son has left, and oddly enough I never shed a tear, nor did he. I think I was all dried up from last night to be honest. He said to his mom as he hugged her,"don't worry, I'll be fine", we hugged and I told him to be strong and that I loved him. Of course mom was crying, can't blame her, it was tough. Ok, now I'm starting to get a little worked up, it's still hard to talk about, but it is done. I would say all in all, I'm doing pretty good, I'm still free, and really am getting through each thought of a smoke pretty well, better than I thought I would anyway. Like everyone told me, smoking wasn't going to change anything, it would only make things worse. Thanks again everyone.
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 75
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,628
Amount Saved: $720.00
Life Gained:
Days: 10 Hrs: 22 Mins: 54 Seconds: 59
Sorry I missed the bonfire Anna, I have had a terrible weekend. Everywhere I turn I see something that reminds me of my son. My other son stayed with friends all weekend, so I was alone most of the weekend, and I have been on a whale of a crave since Thursday. Even as I write this, I am having hot flashes, sweating, and wanting a smoke worse than ever. It's been like this all weekend, I had to leave the poker game Saturday evening because of it. I actually thought I would stop and buy a pack, but I drove home, constantly telling myself it wouldn't help any. I'm not sure how long I can keep it up, I can feel my resolve getting weaker and weaker as time goes by. A 4 day crave just isn't fair, I know I'm missing my son, I know I'm sad over him leaving, but I also know it's for the best. So why a 4 day crave? It's like hell week all over again. I really want to stay smoke free, and I guess I need to keep reminding myself of that. The junkie in me is still alive and stronger than I thought, it reminded me that this battle isn't anywhere near over. I was almost blind sided, I probably should have came here for support, but I didn't. I just took it one hour at a time. 79 days in and feeling like day 2, what an awful addiction we have.
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 79
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,808
Amount Saved: $758.40
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 11 Mins: 58 Seconds: 9
Funny, I'm not feeling very strong right now, I feel like I'm close to falling. I know it's all in my head, but I'm having physical withdrawl symptoms. For example, the sweating and hot flashes, I set at a desk the majority of my work day, nothing hard about that right?? But right now, I smell like I just got done running a marathon. So I know I am sweating, and I know its from craving. It's all just driving me nuts right now. Maybe I should walk at lunch, I haven't been walking lately due to the heat. I already stink, might as well have a reason to stink. LOL Thanks for the encouragment Lainey and Anna, coming here and hearing anothers point of veiw really helps.
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 79
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,808
Amount Saved: $758.40
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 11 Mins: 58 Seconds: 9
Well I just walked for 45 minutes, legs felt good, better than my lungs....had a hard time catching my breath, it must be 99% humidity outside. Just another reminder of why I quit in the first place!! I do feel better after walking :) Thanks for the input mamakitty, I got my claws dug in deep, but I think I'm on the ceiling ;p
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 79
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,808
Amount Saved: $758.40
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 11 Mins: 58 Seconds: 9
Thanks Riverdaleman, I needed to hear that. Was starting to wonder if I was in a small but exclusive group where the craves never leave and the junkie never dies. Thanks for the new hope.
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 79
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,808
Amount Saved: $758.40
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 11 Mins: 58 Seconds: 9
It's definately a crave Anna, I actually had dreams last night I was craving, is that possible? I woke up this morning and had to hit the gum immediately.
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 80
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,850
Amount Saved: $768.00
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 15 Mins: 7 Seconds: 10
Thanks everyone, I think I'm coping with it ok, but the crave just won't quit. So maybe I'm not dealing with it???? Maybe I'm trying to ignore it and the crave is there because it is unresolved??? By the way Anna, I don't use NRT's, I went cold turkey from day 1, and I have to stay that way, if I put any kind of nicotine into my body now, it would be a mistake. Maybe it's just a period I'm going through, I have read where 100 days is a tough time...maybe 80 is a bad time for me. I know 21 days into a quit is terrible for me, but I got through it ok, so I just have to keep the quit, I need to remind myself of why I did it. The junkie keeps telling me its a bad time to quit, to quit later when things are easier. The thing is, life never gets easier, there is always something in it to make things complicated, or stressful. So I need to rid myself of the negative thoughts. Maybe I should just remember that invisible hand that I felt like I had over my mouth when I would try and breathe, what a horrible feeling that was, not being able to catch your breath from doing nothing, just sitting. Yea, that does the trick, I hated that feeling!! Not today junkie, this day belongs to me!
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 80
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,864
Amount Saved: $768.00
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 16 Mins: 0 Seconds: 16
Will do Lainey. Heres a scarey picture for everyone, I think a hot bubble bath, some Native American wood flute music, a large cold glass of green tea, and scented candles are in order for tonight. The stress is leaving my body just thinking about it..
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 80
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,864
Amount Saved: $768.00
Life Gained:
Days: 11 Hrs: 16 Mins: 0 Seconds: 16
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