I am working on that list of fears and making a lot of progress..Plus I am doing some much needed self care and starting to feel better today...and you know what I don't have to feel visible here anymore to feel like I matter..because I matter to me and thats what really counts.
I was reading your post last night and tried your coping skills with one of my muscle relaxers and it really did help...
I also like to write thing out too, I am now thinking about starting a journal on my lap. Thinks for the post...
Hugs,
I don't worry about getting logged out anymore..I have shortened my posts which is much better for me, as for the spelling they have spell check here and the grammar I don't really care or worry about it anyway..It is really not something I ever obsessed over before, so I am not going to obsess over it now..This would be replacing a positive though with a negative thought..like I have to be perfect, when I don't have to be perfect...I am perfectly happy with myself the way I am..
When I started this tread I thought others might want to share their fears and anxious thoughts..I am a little disappointed that this thread didn't work out..and I am here alone posting to this thread..I guess this tread is dead...It really died before it had a chance to get going...
When I was a child I grew up in a house hold where I felt like I didn't belong...I was invisible there..I spend my time there just existing and waiting till I could leave..When I would come home from being at my grandparents house where I was real and valued and seen, and walked into the door of my parents house where, my mother, father and brother lived I felt like a outsider...I was invisible there. I even asked my parents if I could go live in a convent when I was about nine years old. I asked to see my birth certificate because I though I must have been adopted..I didn't seem to belong there. My father drove me to see one and said I could not go till I was 16...if I still wanted to go than I could go then..When I was 13 years old my mother told me that they had not planed on having me and that my conception was a accident. The years went by and I waited and I left when I was 16..I did not go to a convent but I did leave..I was relieved to not have to live in a house where no one noticed me or talked to me anymore. I did my chores and earned my keep as they put it. My time was up, my sentence had ended...
Sometimes I still feel this way, this thread and the lack of response to it reminds me of that feeling.......
I started working on my last fear on my list of fears. My fear of moving to a new location or staying in my present location..I spent yesterday looking at houses and have not found the right one yet but I did find out that I no longer have a fear of moving I just haven't found the right house or the right location yet...
Well thats the end of list for now so this thread is closed as far as I am concerned....
Thank you for responding and sharing your story..I too was the responsible one. I find we all have a lot in common..Reading your story really helped me and I am sure lots of others reading..
Good morning Guy,
Thank you for responding and sharing your story with me..I guess were are all more alike than not when it comes to how we grew up and its effect on us..I wasn't raised Catholic either,I just thought it would be a place to go where I belonged and where I could help people in need..One of my grandmothers was raised in a convent due to her mothers unexpected death in the early 1900's and I admired her as a person...Reading your story helped me in so many ways..I thought I was the only one who had a hard time of it at home as a child..Another thing we all have in common is that we are all good people who are able to love and be loved in spite of what has happened to use in the past..I think we have all come a long way on our individual roads of recovery and each and everyone one of us is better for it..
Reaching out and sharing our stories plays a big part in the healing process..Thank you for being a part of this group.
Yes I have good days and bad days too...I just remind myself to keep looking for the positive things in life and that seems to help get me back on track....
Welcome to the site...If you start to feel depressed again they have a sister site called The depression center. It listed under More Help at the top of the forum page...I have used both sites and they have helped me a lot...
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