and bad news, but still good!!! I slipped again BUT, again I don't like the feeling and the shame associated with it!
the good news is, while abstaining I feel so terrific! emotionally I feel bi-polar! sometimes I'm elated, then I crash and get depressed and sad and terribly worried about all the damage etc. from previous drinking...
I plan to continue to abstain, and get my life back! it might be a little late, but I don't feel hopeless anymore! in this process of abstaining from alcohol I've had glimpses of myself, alive and enjoying life! I've been knitting, gardening, renovating, reading! I like these activities, and I don't want to sabotage my life again.
hi selfrespect! it CAN be done! I'm changing my life skills, and opting out of participating in drinking now! it's just the beginning for me, but it is working, and I feel GREAT!
hi Athena! excellent post! I can relate totally to your fears about abstaining! you're doing a terrific job just realizing all these factors affecting you.
I read this on Facebook this morning, and it certainly made a lot of sense to me:
"There are more things that frighten us than injure us, and we suffer more in imagination than in reality." ~Seneca
I've been abstaining... this is the 4th day. I really can't believe how I've been able to do this! Before the "slip" last Friday, I abstained for 4 days also. My liver and brain must be confused but happy that I'm not beating them up daily!
I've started knitting, I made my unborn grandson (due in May) a small hat, today I will start a blanket to match it. The knitting is helping me get through the cravings.
I have a TON of real life issues that are hanging over me that I'm worried about! I don't know where, or how to start dealing with them? First and foremost, my husband is really ill. He has high blood pressure, and an aneurysm, he takes a lot of prescriptions to help, but he isn't able to work or do much. Money worries are horrible! I don't want to relapse into the binge drinking to avoid the worry again... I have to deal with the reality of my life situations and cope somehow.
and answering Ashley's questions: " You said that you don't want to avoid the worry by binge drinking again; if you did, what would happen? If you didn't, what would be different?"
If I did avoid the worry by drinking, I continue my downward spiral into more ill health and deep depression.
If I continue to abstain and deal with my life issues, I will likely feel stronger and more secure? I've been avoiding them for so long now, I need to really take care of these problems. Apparently they don't go away on their own,
hi Vincenza! now that I'm not drinking, I'm not in a deep state of depression... but I do have mood swings, and inconsistent energy. Sometimes, I'm elated and full of energy and positive ideas.... then I can be totally exhausted and consumed with worry.
I used to drink on average 8 beers a day, starting late afternoon, into the evening until around 10pm. It wasn't often it was less, because once I started, it felt impossible to stop.
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BUT, again I don't like the feeling and the shame associated with it!
