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Understanding the Causes of Slips and how to Prevent them


17 years ago 0 420 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
2tone, If anything, I think I have more confidence in myself as a person. I hated that I smoked and was ashamed of myself for it, and I think it put a little ding in my self-esteem. Could it be that your self-esteem has improved, and they are not sure how to deal with you? Could it be you are more sure of yourself? I noticed that I have been better able to set boundaries... it's all a part of taking care of "YOU". Quitting has made me do that. Could it be you have set some boundaries to protect your "quit", and they don't know how to deal with that? Just some ideas. I understand what you are saying. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 19 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 199 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $36.67 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
17 years ago 0 420 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Excellent thread! I'm only 18 days into my quit, but I know I will not go back to smoking. I agree with everything everyone else has said. It's the deep commitment you make to yourself. It's as if a switch was turned on in my brain that won't even let me entertain thoughts of smoking or having just one. I cannot smoke... it's final... it's done. What has helped me is this type of thinking: If you were fired from a job... you cannot go back... you have no choice. If your spouse divorced you... you cannot go back... you have no choice. If your house burned down... you can't go back.. it's not there anymore. I compare smoking to events like this. While it is uncomfortable to get through quitting, it doesn't mean you have to go back. In the examples I used, you CAN'T go back. I think of it in the same terms. On the other hand, we may think that smoking helps us get through life's tragedies. That is a big fat LIE! It doesn't help us get through. It's something we used to DO for a fix to make ourselves feel better. We don't need a fix any longer, because we've learned to deal with what life throws our way. If a tragedy occurs, would I go running back to the lot where my burned down house used to be and try to make it take me back? No... I would grieve like a normal person, pick myself up and get on with life the best I could. I've been fortunate in my quit. My attitude is good. Smoking isn't an option. A friend asked me yesterday if I was still not smoking, and I said: "Please don't ask me that anymore. I do not smoke, and you can assume that is the case unless you hear otherwise." Being asked made me feel like he was just waiting for the day when I smoked again. That's probably only my perception, but I don't think he'll ask me again. :eg: This was long, and probably repetitive, but was good for me to write! So, I say to those trying to get to the other side: Flip the switch in your brain. Cigarettes do not exist in my world, so I live with it. Love the chocolate!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 18 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 183 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $34.74 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53
17 years ago 0 591 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Couldn't have said it better stickin to it "Solidify that mental image" cigarett= :eg: How does one get there? Do you like the smell? Do you think you look sexy with a cigarett hanging out your mouth? Do you like the way people step back from you when you speak? How's that cough making you "think?...are you playing Russian Roulette here with your life? Did you put something back at the grocery so you would have enough money to buy your smokes? These are just a few suggestions to solidify that mental image auntdeb :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,171 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $204.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
17 years ago 0 591 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
2-Tone, Interesting and Rosie.. You know what...you are on to something here...for sure I did something almost unthinkable in my marriage 2 days ago... I gave my husband a little grief...by being "assertive", I had some things to do helping one of my children and it was...an all day event. When I came back home to a sink full of dirty dishes...I said, "You've been here all day...nothing to do...and you couldn't even do the dishes?" Needless to say the dishes were done promptly. So, yes...we are changing as non-smokers...and it is...a Good thing. We are now becoming confident and in control of our selves. Great Post...auntdeb ;) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 19 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 975 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $90.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4
17 years ago 0 591 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow...I am so glad I am here. This is an excellent point: "Solidifying the Mental Image"...Smoking is Not an option. That is how I made it the first time for ten years. That's why I'm glad I'm here. I don't quite have the image yet as in the past when I had no money to buy cigarettes. My kids milk came before my stupid addiction. Now, it is a matter of quitting truly and honestly for "Me", and I have a hard time (sometimes)doing just for me. But....that is what makes the SSC so great. I know with the information being fed dailly and helpful insight that others bring...will increase my confidence in this quit.... Last night I had dinner with my daughter and grandchildren. I was estatic that I could beam with pride and tell them I had quit smoking , "Give me Hug and Smell"...I recieved not only a hug, but kisses too...they usually turn their heads away because they can't stand the smell. I also noticed a lot friendlier reception from the waiter and attendants in the restaurant. Oh well ...I guess I'm ranting, but these type of situations help reinforce my mental image of who I "don't want to Be". [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 817 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $82.79 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9
17 years ago 0 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Great post, Aunt Deb! I'm glad that all of you validated the way I've been feeling because I thought I was losing my mind. Everyone (and I mean everyone) in my life is not real comfortable with the new 'me'. Yet, I'm OK with it. I remember the last time I quit (a few years ago for 9 months), I had the same problem. I recall the differences in my friends and family and I guess I used that as one of my excuses to start again. I think as you learn to quit, you also have to learn how to fine tune your emotions. I used to smoke when I was sad, mad, glad and everything in between. Now, I have to learn how to deal with all of these emotions without my smokes...it's gonna take a little tweaking to get every one of them just right again. -- 2tone [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 25 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 721 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $137.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10
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17 years ago 0 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm really early on in my quit compared to most of you, but unlike my many other attempts, I am convinced that I will never smoke again. As of late, though, outside influences are starting to creep into my head. My smoking co-workers are starting to annoy me and I guess my displeasure is starting to show. There's even been a bit of a strain in my marriage since I quit. I am different now. I'm going through mental and physical changes that no one else understands, except the rest of you. My family, friends and co-workers would like the old 'me' back. The smoking 'me'. The thing is, I can't say for sure what it is that's making me seem different to everyone. Maybe I'm a bit edgier, but I don't feel it. I havn't been confrontational with anyone and I only talk about smoking when someone else brings it up...so why does everyone see me as different person...in a negative way? I'm not real sure on this one, but like most of you, smoking WAS me for my whole life. Is my appearance different? Is my attitude? Has anyone else gone through this? The point is, from family to friends, no one is REALLY supporting my quit. I could start back tomorrow and that would be fine with everyone. I think that's why this site is the only thing I have left. I'm not going to smoke the rest of my life, I know that. As for others treating me differently, it might all be in my head...I'm not real sure. Maybe I'm just being a bit paranoid. It's the whole transition that's creeping me out a little. -- 2tone [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 24 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 695 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $132 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38
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    $357,658.88

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17 years ago 0 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
rosiegirl - That was awesome! I have been rather strong-willed lately (and not just with smoking) and that tends to make people uncomfortable. I do feel very, very strong about this. Maybe I am just rubbing others the wrong way. They just need to accept the new 'me'. Thanks! -- 2tone
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    $357,658.88

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 9150 Hours: 19

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17 years ago 0 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Interesting - Very, very interesting (no pun intended). I think you may be onto something. I've set boundaries to protect my quit. I don't think I've been 'edgier'...maybe more assertive. I was told the other day that I was more laid back when I smoked (not sure what the he** that meant). As for the marriage part, it's been a stressful quit in that area, and I'm really frustrated about that. If anything, I thought I would have the most support there. Once again, though, it may be my new 'take me as I am' attitude and everyone's having a hard time dealing with it. I tell you, this is my final 'take no prisioners' quit. I'd rather start a whole new life than start smoking again. Thanks for putting a positive spin on this for me! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 24 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 697 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $132 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18
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    $357,658.88

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    Days: 9150 Hours: 19

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17 years ago 0 613 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Stickin: Some very good points you made. I know for me, I have truly embraced the idea of NOPE and "Smoking is not an option". When I have a crave and immediately think of a cigarette, it reminds me that I'm a DRUG ADDICT. Then, I say, "well, smoking isn't an option -- so what else have I got?" Somehow this is working, but I can't tell you how I got there, except Allen Carr's book and a real understanding about my addiction. I do not wish to continue in this pathetic addiction, so I know that smoking is TRULY not an option for me or I'm right back to square one, wishing I wasn't addicted to smoking. When I have some stressful event (and who among us doesn't) and my first thought is a smoke, I really have to tell myself that it's the junkie in me talking, trying to convince me that all will be well with a cigarette. Ha! We know better than that -- a cigarette will makes things SO much worse! So, it comes down to your self-talk, what you tell yourself in those moments. That's my take on the subject -- I'd love to hear others. Keep the faith [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 101 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,062 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $808 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 28

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