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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Sleep and this anxiety level has not been a problem in the past; in fact, it's been quite the opposite, not wanting to get out of bed. I do take medication to help me sleep at night but only because I need to get the 10 hours of sleep (I've always had to have) without the vivid dreams. That's not helping me sleep - the meds. I used to could lay down anytime and sleep. I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin, my hands shake sometimes, I feel like I'm going to pop like a balloon. Anyway, I appreciate all the suggestions, trust me, I am going to talk to the psychiatrist about it at my Wed. appt. I don't eat before I go to bed, lol, not good for digestion and can cause weight gain I hear (don't know if it's true). I also keep it cool and dark - well, I try but I have a skylight and in the a.m., so I bought one of those masks to sleep in that covers the eyes. It helps. I also turn off the tv, cause I like it quiet, I don't drink caffeine at night. I heard it isn't good to just lay there if you can't go to sleep so I get up and do something then try again. I feel like I could sleep anytime. I think it's totally related to the anxiety and it's just a symptom of that. Need to figure out what to do about that. Deep breathing, the tai chi, the weekend thing, are temporary fixes. I was hoping my weekend getaway would help me with it, but it was like a creeping return on the way home and I was ruminating about all the activities and listening to Neil Diamond (my fav as most of you know). I don't know, I'm ramblin', it's past my bedtime, been there, didn't work.

I do go to work landscaping tomorrow so I hope the fresh air, sunshine and labor helps tomorrow with all this sh**.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 217

Hi guys and girls,

I just wanted to mention that I was having a difficult time sleeping until I made a few simple changes. The changes I made were going to sleep at roughly the same time every night, keeping my room a cool and dark environment and avoid eating right before bed. Since making these changes I have been getting really good quality sleep and ultimately I think this has helped me and my depression.

Strength

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 102

There are no exclusive parties here :)

Post whenever a topic speaks to you. I went to the doc's today after reading your post, and he prescribed a very low dose of trazidone for sleep. I'll let you know how it goes.

deb

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

Hi goofy and cvdeb,

I hope I'm not intruding on your party!!! :)

Ok, I have some comments on the sleep problem. Because of the depression and the constant ruminating thoughts, I had a lot of trouble sleeping. This, of course, made it hard for me to work, and then made my depression worse. Then I started drinking to fall asleep, this too made my depression worse. Haha. You get the picture.

My psychiatrist taught me that a consistent and regular pattern of sleep is very important in fighting depression. He advised that I need to ensure I get a solid 7 hours of sleep every night. In order to help me he prescribed me apo-quetiapine. It's not a sleeping pill, in fact, in higher doses it's an anti-psychotic, I believe. However, in low doses it acts as a sleeping pill, except that it isn't habit forming and it isn't a problem coming on and off of it. I take a small amount an hour or two before bed and I have the best sleeps ever, no joke.

Might be worth discussing something similar with your doctors.

Cheers,

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 102

Still having sleep issues here too.

You have done many things right if your son is a lawyer. :) Congrats mom. It made me smile to hear your story about how he did. I think my younger son may follow that same path. Seriously. He is so different from my 20 year-old son.

I loved hearing about your grandaughter. I'm not a grandmother yet, and have only had boys. I would kill to have a tea-party, talk about barbies, and have her sit still and not destroy things for 5 seconds. I came home today to my son heaving firewood into the river that runs by our house because it made a cool noise. His brother missed that cause he was in the bathroom at the time. Little boys just need those seconds to wreak havoc. He also (in that same time period), took a crayon and drew all over our fence.

I can't wait to be a grandmother. I hear from you and others that it is awesome.

Where are you on the depression scale now?

And do you have any advice on planting bare-root roses? I need to do that this weekend cause I'm going back to work. We have chickens but I'm not sure how to mix the poo poo into a good mixing mud for planting.

Okay then. Off to bed hopefully. Sleep has been hard lately.

Keep writing, okay?

deb

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

deb, I'm fine, ty and how are you?

I'm still having sleep issues; my friend who I was going to go see Thursday and play golf with on Friday had a medical issue come up and so I won't see him until Friday (maybe some golf in the weekend somewhere, who knows?) We gotta take care of ourselves and that takes priority over golf.

It was awesome getting to see my son, he did a great job, lol, now I see where he can use those arguing skills he had growing up. I mean I kind of suspected he was applying them there - now I know. lol, he was made to argue respectfully at home; and he does so there well. lol It ended up being two days. As you know things just take so much energy. He was focused on what he was doing so I was in the background - faded, I hope, but some of the detectives who were there kept me entertained (conversation during breaks). I was just wanting to fade into the background but I am sure they were just trying to be polite. It's not like there is a packed courtroom. Just me and the victims family. I came home and went to sleep so exhausted and slept maybe 4 hours both nights. The best night I've had of sleep is the night I Forgot my meds.

Ya know deb, the not sleeping thing wouldn't make me feel so bad, if it wasn't just the opposite the whole entire time I've had major depression.

A/D does mean alcohol and drug treatment facility. lol, my son says I get 'em out of jail, he puts 'em in and vice versa. It's true somewhat. I work because I need to; I make myself do these things. I have to havea conversation with myself. My mom always told me that was fine, unless I answered myself. lol I do that too. Anyway, I must talk my self into it. I say yes, because I know I need to then I psych myself up for it and then most of the time I do follow through with it.

My granddaughter is a beautiful 3 year old who loves me and wants to come visit me (they live a whole 7 miles away) and I can't have her up here because I'm stalled on the house renovations and too many dangerous things around. She keeps asking and I keep telling her soon. I do see her with my son and daughter-in-law and go out there to keep her some. I think motherhood was/is the most magnificant thing there is (it gets better everyday and he'll be 31 this year; grandmother hood, is more awesome.

that's so sweet you son crawling into bed with you and shared his happiest dream ever. Cherish the moments; they don't stay young long....but remember it only gets better!

I'm still depressed, know I 'm going to get to start working outside; have this weekend planned; taking the dog ot the kennel so I'll have a break from her; though she is welcome where we are going. I'm just hanging in there and sometimes it just seems by a thread. I slept after I got back from the trial. Woke up and now it's 3:15 a.m. and I can't go back to sleep. I have things to get done before I go out of town - uh, clean clothes would be nice, taking the trash out, sweeping the floor (my new floor) which hasn't been done. I got it fixed and I don't want to - that's not right - I do want to just don't have it to do it. I called someone to come and give me a price on cleaning. I think I can afford it and I deserve it and then it won't weigh on my mind.

I'm rambling not been posting alot.....how does that saying go; sometimes I sits and sometimes I sits and thinks.

Thanks for telling me I'm inspirng, lol, I don't feel that way right now. I sometimes get days where I do and know I'll get better again. I just ha

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 102

Oh! Yes. Thank you. I am fine too! So glad we are both so fine! :) ha ha

Wow Goofy. You are doing such an incredible job. I love that you have lined up so many wonderful activities. I'm not quite there yet. Planning a day is good for now. So you really show me that I can get there too, and I hope this doesn't sound cliche, but you really are inspiring. I'm glad you post so much. I think we all get so down that it can be hard to even do that.

How old is your sweet grandaughter??? And sorry, but what does the A/D center??? Alcohol drugs? Just checking so I'm on the same page.

How is the sleep going???? I hope I'm not pestering you about the sleep thing..... it just seems to be such a common thread for most of us. I don't know where you are in the country, but I hope you are sleeping peacefully. My kindergartner crawled into bed with me at 4am this morning to tell me about the happiest dream he's ever had. That was worth losing a little sleep over :) Precious.

Sweet dreams to everyone

deb

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

deb,

I was so dogged tired after the game I came home went to bed at 6:00 p.m. woke up at 1:00 a.m. was up until 6:00 a.m. went back to bed and slept to 11:30 a.m. GEEZ - that is more sleep than I've gotten in a 24 hour period of time. I've made myself stay up all day (lol, since 11:30) and I'm going to try to go to bed. My son is an attorney and has not only told his mom that he's comfortable with me going to watch him but given me a time and date to go. Tomorrow. He's an assistant prosecutor and it's a murder trial. So, will sit tomorrow watching my son again. I'm so very proud of him and grateful that he cares and wants me to still see him do things. He is open minded, tries so hard to understand, and has a very loving wife and, of course, can't say enough about my granddaughter.

Anyway, I went to work tonight for 3 hours tonight (my scheduled time at the A/D center, taught my class, and came home. Been on the computer. I didn't take my meds this a.m. I forgot them. I can tell but it's a weird feeling. I hope it means I will get some sleep. I dunno.

My landscaping boss called and said she's got some jobs lined up as early as next week - I told her I am ready. I have my weekend outing -leaving Thursday and returning Sunday. Playing golf on Friday.

Just so much effort to do the smallest thins - but after it's done, it is worth it. Seems that knowing that would make the get up and go - get up and go.

thanks Deb, I needed an ear! I got a great one!

I hate feeling crumby too and what I hate worse is not being able to say "fine, ty and how are you". lol, right now don't ask me how I am doing. I'll lie. "fine ty and how are you?".

Oh, I don't like wishing my life away but I hope the next few hours bring good restful sleep. Going to take sleep meds and try it again.!!!!!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 102

Hey Goofy,

Were you able to get some sleep last night???? Man I can relate to the sleep thing and I feel for you. I had one of those nights last night myself. Very weird dreams about being on American Idol and aliens landing.

I love this thread you started. It's really helpful to me to read about your experiences and thoughts. I'm sorry you're feeling crummy though.

Quality of sleep seems to have a huge impact on the level of depression I experience the next day. I'm curious how everyone elses' sleep patterns are going.

And yahoo for you for going to the game. I hope you have fun, and I know it will mean a lot to your son (how cool he's a mentor!).

deb

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Here it is 3 a.m. again. An hour nap this afternoon and 4 hours sleep last night; depression is depression. I hate the anxiety that goes with it. I've never had the anxiety with it like this since it first happened. No panic attacks, but a couple of close calls. The thought process kicked in and knowing I had my back up (meds) in my poscket kicked in. thought process meaning, remove my self, deep breathing, talking to myself and answering myself too. Oh well, just bi***ing. I ain't cleaned the house or cleaned up after myself; dishes, clothes, etc. I should be ashamed after all th work, but I'm sure I'll get it together soon. Hope and gratitude.

I am grateful I woke up this morning, my son called to check on me, confimred I'd go watcch his game tomorrow (fundraising bb game) and that I'd go out to eat with them after (dreading it; don't want to go; will go, yes I will, yes sirree bobba lou, I will go).

Okay, gonna go try to sleep AGAIN! Did I tell you I found my meds. lol, I might not have told you I lost them. But I found them. I had had to call the dr. and have him call me in a few extras ($85.00 for 5 days). I usually pay $65.00 for three months supply through Ins. mail order pharmacy (OUCH! that $85.00 hurt). I didn't find them all; I'm gonna keep looking. I do have enought to last till him I see him again. I just got them in January (end of) and they usually send them a bit ahead so I had some. Oh, I'm tired, I'm rambling.

good night

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Working on the house