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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I get a monthly blood test and some of the numbers are way higher than normal, but then I do have things wrong with me. It is possible to live quite well with numbers above normal. It is nice to know what puts them into the cancer range for piece of mind but then you have to understand what they mean. My white cell count has been above the cancer range but then I had an infection trying to kill me.

What do I do about the thought about dying? And I'm far closer than you are. It is those left behind who suffer so my affairs are in order and I have had 15 operations, that means being put out 15 times. (actually more) It is a little death each time because if you don't wake up you will never know. I guess this has made death somewhat more acceptable.

Do you fear death or not getting to do all you want first. You know you will always have something left you want to do. Dying certainly does get in the way. I fear leaving my best friend behind more than dying yet I don't want to be the one left behind. I used to want to die in my sleep but now I want everyone to have a chance to be prepared.

Luckily for me when it is time I will likely be in such pain I will be happy to go but for now it is just one day at a time.

Enjoy them, too soon they are gone.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Abriannamama,

Great question and this is a tough one. Please take a look at the questions to the expert section. There is a questions there where Doctor Farvolden explains how to challange and do exposure work with anxious thoughts. Let us know what you find helpful there.

Members, please share your thoughts as well.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

I think one of the major triggers of my anxiety is a fear of death and dying. I have always had the fear of dying young, and I understand that dying is a natural part of life and I can't change it. I have been anxiety attack free for the past couple of weeks which has made it difficult to do my homework because its hard to track your anxious thoughts when you aren't having the anxiety. This past summer, I almost lost my mom to a pulmonary embolism. After that I was having fear of what if I were to die of a blood clot in my lungs. However, I started having bad chest pains about 2 weeks ago and went to the ER, they did blood work and told me I didn't have cancer or anything along those lines. They tested for the PE, they said the average level is a 4-6 and mine was a 7.1 but it sounded more like acid reflux then a PE. I was fine with my anxiety after that until this past week my husband lost his cousin at the age of 33 he just died in his sleep from unknown causes. This has triggered the fear in me again because the chest pains have continued and the fact that my number was above average sits on my mind constantly. I know we are supposed to challenge our fears, but how do you challenge death? How do you overcome the fear of dying/death?

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

rohit

According to "attachment theory" the category of personality you acquire through birth and experience can be changed.

But in severe cases and in this case they are talking about being born into a violent family and living with it, it can take up to three generations to change. I'm assuming this is not the case with you. I'm assuming your family is well adjusted and your problem is just core beliefs. This I am assuming due to their attitude toward your problem. So this being the case it is going to take time to take control from the core beliefs. How many can you recognize? How many can your family? How many do you believe exist?

Are you feeling hopeless or do you have a core belief saying you are hopeless? Do you see the difference? Other core beliefs can make you feel hopeless and lead to you treating the wrong one. Well they all have to be treated but you have to start somewhere.

I don't like to set goals with a timeline. Instead I like to collect achievements to add to my threshold level. I'm not the person I was years ago. I'm not even the person I was before my anxiety/panic disorder. I'm better. Mentally anyway. Physically I'm a wreck but able to accept it. I still have some trouble with core beliefs, but not from me. External influences can temporarily reinforce them.

Agoraphobia in it's newer definition being a fear of not having control could be what your fear of the future is. Does it bother you that so much of what you do and want to do is controlled by other people and their rules? You might have to look for this one to see just how much they affect you. If it is unpleasant you might be blocking the thought. If it is really unpleasant the thought might be unaccessible.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

Davit,

The problem I am currently facing is extreme hopelessness.This feeling leads to mental collapse.I am trying to get rid of this feeling by challanging this feeling.I know very well that this feeling of hopelessness is very wrong & the cycle shud be broken by series of positiveness.

I suffer series of failure due to my nature & series of core beliefs that I built over a period of time.

By passage of time I realized that worry & fear of future is in my nature.Yes I do fear failures & setbacks.

My family complains why I live with so much tension?I answer that it is my nature.They say change the nature;it is in your hands only & that they can only support.I ask them how do I change my nature?It has been into my mind like concrete cement.I am finding it difficult to break.Had it been made of ice or mud can be easily broken.

I really want to live a peaceful & happy life with my family & I have seperated myself from big show off in society as I used to do earlier.Yet this problem is not leaving me.

I really want to live with some happy moments.

rohit131

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi rohit

I have found that everyone has something they are good at. Some are very good at what they do. So it is a shame when they let the fear of failure get in the way. But if they were physically unable to do it it would not be considered failure. Yet a person who really wants to do something (me) will find a way around the disability. I accept my limitations both physical (I get help) and mental (I'm doing the best I can at the moment) Therefore I am not failing. I just am not up to what I think my potential could be. I could be wrong. This could be the best I can be. In which case I am not failing, I'm just not as capable as I would like to be and I will keep trying. But any improvement is Bonus over My threshold level. We all have this threshold level and are sometimes above, sometimes below. Are you aiming too high? Why? Are you trying to be something you are not meant to be or don't really want to be?

Before you can be who you want to be you have to be you and then build on this. Find your threshold level and accept it even if it seems like failure. Even if it is not what you want it to be. When you are comfortable with it then challenge it with attempts to do what you fear.

If you are doing nothing right now that is a pretty easy threshold level to add to and anything is an improvement. Don't rush. Don't jump ahead till you are comfortable. Like building a house, you can't put the roof on till you have walls.

It will seem slow and like failure but it isn't and the best way to prove this is to live the feared failure than to fear it and hide. Living it is the only way to prove it wrong. (core belief) You have to start somewhere.

All truly great persons start out just being who they are and add on through discoveries. They start with a certain threshold level and move it up. What they do and make look easy is their threshold level, acquired over time and added to. It was not always there.

Ashley is right. Keep working the program and challenge this fear of failure. And I think this attitude towards failure.

In my life I have had to start over from the beginning more than once. This I guess is failure. (and I lived it) But I am now what I can be and that is not failure nor do I fear it.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Rohit,

Keep working on the program and challenging yourself and you will notice a difference. How far along are you in the program?

What is one of your first goals? How will you challenge your fear this week?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

I have a specific phobia of doing any productive work.I have a phobia from failure.So I fear taking any new step.

I am sitting idle for 4 months doing nothing as I feel most panic at my workplace.It is like fight or flight.

I am not able to fight so I have flight from my work.Still feel panic for doing nothing.So mind tends to loose control.

Any suggestions?

rohit131

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Specific phobias are when a highly focused fear occurs with a specific object or situation. To avoid this anxiety producing object or situation, an individual may significantly disrupt their normal routine; they may avoid going to work or school or travelling if there is a slight chance that the will encounter the object of fear.

Specific phobias usually revolve around four categories:
1 – Animals (insects, snakes, dogs, etc)
2 – Natural environments (storms, heights, water, etc)
3 – Blood/injections/injuries (the sight of blood or even the thought of an injection)
4 – Specific situation (public transit, the dentist, flying, etc.)

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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