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Getting by.


9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well ice cream would still be nice. It looks like the rain has finally come to an end and it is going to freeze again. Getting my garage back is a bit of an anticlimax. That says a lot for my mood. But at least the garage will be ready for me when it snows. I made cookies today too but my heart wasn't really in it. I don't think it is about Christmas even though I don't think I will bother. A turkey for one person? I've done that too often.  People hardly bother to put lights up anymore. Besides hydro has got expensive. Feels like a war, us against inflation. Only thing that has gone down is gas and I can't eat it. I think I'll shut up and go to bed tomorrow is another day, come to think of it, it is tomorrow and a week end. Don't know what those are since I'm retired. Small vent :-) It isn't that bad, at least I don't have panic attacks any more. Now that would shake up my life, no thank you. I can get by without them ever again.

Davit.
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I typed out a nice long vent and deleted it. Felt good too. Wish I had some ice cream now. Guess I'll go to bed and listen to it rain, rain in december is ridiculous. But so is so much of life. So were the panic attacks I used to have. I'm glad they are gone. I should have some cheese to go with this whine. Ice cream really would be better though.

Davit
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well it is not so quiet today. It has been windy all day and damp and tomorrow will be +9C and possibly raining. Be careful what you ask for. I need to go to town tomorrow. That is a better word than have to. But I may well not want to if it is indeed raining. I will though unless it is very bad. It is good to get out. Besides I need gas for the car and want to go to the library. 

You know the weather doesn't bother me since I spent so many years working in it but it does seem to be a trigger for others. Also being retired it has less influence on my life. I can sit in the house and listen to it. I seldom have anywhere I have to be.

Davit.
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Too quiet in the house last night. It actually woke me up. Clouding over now so it might snow. I'm going to make soup shortly. First I have to do some dishes. Not many but I'm not letting them build up. 
I've been tired for a long time so I'm having a hard time getting anything done. I'm trying not to care. I'm probably still anemic. 

Davit
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It is snowing lightly. I like the snow even though it is an exercise in positive thought to not think negative since I'll have to get on a tractor and move it. It is pretty though and pleasant thoughts of Christmas cookies and baking fill my head. 
I saw a large Mink behind the house. Very pretty, very free, no cares. Life used to be like that. I'm trying to get back to that.
Watching spiders on the ceiling. I think I'll get a broom and kill them, they are too close to my bed. I'm not sharing with them. Even if they are eating the fruit flies.

Trying to decide if I will put up my tree. I have room now. Well I have time to think about it. It is warming up too much and might rain. I'd rather have more snow. There was a time when I would have been out skiing in this. A time farther back when I'd be running my dog team or checking my fish net under the ice. Good memories. Fresh caught fish stuffed and baked. Ah well, I have fresh made meat sauce and spaghetti squash instead. I also have pumpkin that needs to go into a pie soon. 
Change of diet to go with my change of living. I've lost seven pounds slow enough to be okay. One pound every two days and slowing down now but still aiming to lose more. Cut out coffee, extra sugar, hot chocolate and junk food. 
You know how it goes though, I will sneak in the odd coffee on a good day. I'm happy, that is the main thing.

Davit
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The human brain has far more storage than any home computer, but it takes interest to access it. Interest is what opens the doors into the past. 

I knew a guy that could shut down a conversation with the single eyebrow lift. It said bull faster than words could. 

Davit
9 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit, I guess I fear losing my memory... I've lost my voice, so now I can't argue with myself, which is probably why I lost it in the first place. I'm going to make up cue cards so obtuse people don't bother me. I only need two. 1) I've lost my voice 2) What part of "I've lost my voice don't you understand?" That should cover it.
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It is better to have known someone even if they are different than to shy from getting hurt. People pass through your life but don't have to pass through your memory. You can keep them for ever. The ones you want anyway.

It is still cold here and looks like more snow, well it is winter so I will keep the fire going. Cats are asleep. I wonder if they dream of warmer days. A nice day to make some cookies. I need to get raisins first.
On a lighter note, I'm going to summer fallow some of my garden this year. And plant less. More time for flowers. 
Tim owes me big time so I will start with him pruning my fruit trees. Then he has to split some wood for my green house stove. I have lots of work he can do. He has had my tools and garage a month. Leaving my little greenhouse empty except for the grapes and herbs. No tomatoes or cucumbers this year.

Davit
9 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Red, I did have a dream where mom was alive last night, and it's such a heartache:(
9 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
"Parting is such sweet sorrow".
 Author: William Shakespeare

For I know that if we do not meet again on this earth we will meet again in my dreams and later on when it is my time to leave this earthy life we will meet in another realm or in heaven.

Author: 
Red..

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