Hi Jo, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know when this kind of thing happens, even though you know it's going to happen, you hit the brick wall. This definitely shakes up everyone and everything you do. When my Dad died 25 years ago, I was only 18, it didn't hit home until 7 years later. I had the shakes, dizziness, scared to do anything, get close to anyone, fears of all kinds. I know now where all this stemmed from and can understand everything, therefore my symptoms slowly disappeared. But I didn't finally shake it until a couple of months ago, I couldn't understand what the heck was happening to me. You did the right thing and wrote into here.
It's hard, your reality has been shakened. Let yourself grieve, let yourself cry, get mad, it's all part of letting go and carrying on. You must allow yourself to grieve for you to mentally carry on in a healthy way.
Also, you will grieve differently than your husband. Your connection to your father-in-law is different than your husband's relationship. It's true, be kind to yourself, don't overload yourself with things to keep you busy...take it easy.
You know what Jo, let it happen, let all these funny feelings happen to you. The more you restrain them, the more they'll appear and to you they will feel stronger. It sounds like they are all feelings of panic, anxiety, uncertainty, I truly remember these feelings.
Like I said, your relationship with your father in law is different compared to your husband's relationship, therefore, you'll grieve differently. What's important to you in that relationship may not be as important to someone else. I understand you wanting to be strong for your husband, I remember trying to be strong for my Mom, I couldn't cry, I had to be on top of everything, I had to try and be really positive, but I forgot about my feelings. Take the time out for you, talk to your husband, journaling your feelings is a great idea, truly this helps.
Keep in touch with us, this also helps. Take care. I'm thinking about you...I know what you're going through.
Wow Diva, you have a ton on your plate. Congrats on your exam and the combination of everything else, you did great!! You must feel really happy about all that, (plus exhausted :)). Have a good nap, a cup of tea and congrats again.
Ok, remember the friend I was telling you about earlier, well, she wants to come over this morning for coffee. Agh!!! I made cookies last night (the boys needed some for their lunches) and I thought I could offer her something. I raced around in the early morning, cleaning, getting the boys off to school, putting out some Christmas decorations (because I haven't had the chance to), and making sure everything was in it's place. Now it's snowing like crazy and she's just called to say she's staying in today because of the weather (YEAH!!), but if tomorrow is nice and "I'm not too busy", she'll drop by.
Yes, I was relieved, no thrilled that she's not coming over,(but I have a nice clean house), but it's her remarks "if I'm not too busy" that bugs me...to me that's a guilt trip...dont' need it, don't need her...right? That has taught me not to bust my butt for someone who isn't important to me nor do I want to spend time with.
Well, I hope everyone is having a good day today. It's snowing, snowing, snowing right now and I'm having a coffee and a cookie, well, not one cookie, a few more than one...take care and thanks for listening :)
Please don't feel stupid about yourself....you are not. It's the panic and axiety that makes you feel unsure about things. You need to get it set in your mind that you can do this...it will come. We've all been there and sometimes we go back and forth...it takes time...be patient. We're thinking about you...one day at a time :)
Just want to tell everyone that I had a great day. I enjoyed my hot coffee with yummy cookies, then went off to my kids Christmas concert, (glad I had the coffee), then came home to a clean house...what a day!!!
I guess you have to add humour to this, a good way to cope. Have a nice evening, (we're still getting snow!!!).
Hi Terri, I too have been where you are and had the same feelings and still do sometimes. I find that I get to the point when I try something new, I just do it, I don't think about it, I don't analyze it, I don't justify it, I just do it. I know that if I did these things, and I did and sometimes still do, I won't go through with the task.
You can do this...keep going. We're thinking about you, and we'll be here for you.
Hi there, my question was similar to Maria's with health and physical symptoms whereas mine are more on a monthly basis, particularly around premenstrual time. I do understand that your hormones play a huge role during this time, but is there something you can take during the week before your period or is it just to self talk yourself through this period and frequently remind yourself that it is just "this time" and to try and relax about the symptoms?
I guess it would be helpful to understand the relationship between hormonal changes and how it affects anxiety and panic.
I was wondering if this is a normal panic thing...I was doing ok for a while, thinking I had things under control, and I truly believe I did. I started talking to this person about anxiety and panic and our pasts, what triggers what, etc. and now I feel funny about doing all that. I'm starting to be unsure, a little scared, nervous, a little anxious. I guess my question is, am I feeling anxious about things because I've opened myself up to someone and I'm feeling vulunerable or do these anxious feelings,etc. come and go for no reason.
I was really doing well, feeling the best I've felt in quite a while and wham, just after talking to her, not feeling all that great.
Does this make sense to anyone? Do we feel more vulunerable than others because we are more sensitive or is it just me?
Hi Danielle, I don't know if I have social phobias. I seem to stay away from people or situations where they bring me down, or they're a negative area for me to be in. I don't know if that's a social phobia, I think I've just tried to weed out negative influences that affect me. This person is a very nice person, I've never had any bad run ins with her. Maybe it's just me opening up some very private things and then it's drumming up negative thoughts??? Did that make any sense?
I can't figure what the trigger is in my situation...I think it is me just opening up and letting someone else know a little bit more about me (lowering my brick wall). What do you think?
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